How many "balls" do you have in the air?
Leslie Adler: I can actually juggle ... and when I say "actually," I mean literally. I learned as a teenager, and it is like riding a bike -- easy, once you know how. It is a skill I am most proud of (that, and this thing I can do to make my stomach move in waves). But I am not talking about the "literal" or "actual" art of juggling objects. I am talking about juggling stuff in your life. Let's call it "Vuv Juggling." No, let's name it "Vuggling."
Do men Vuggle? No, because by definition, you have to have a Vuv to be a Vuv and to Vuggle. And no, because generally they do not [J]uggle as well as we do. (For a refresher on my take on male multitasking, feel free to re-read "Fear of Tsunamis").
Besides, I write this column for women, and today I want to shamelessly praise you for Vuggling, because I think this is an art that needs PR. It needs recognition. You who Vuggle need to be praised.
How many times have you looked at your to-do list and wondered how the heck you are going to get it all done? And fretted over the consequences of not completing all the tasks, and disappointing the beneficiaries of those tasks? Whether it was completing a transaction at work, meeting a deadline, buying school supplies, picking up the dry cleaning, getting to the bank, making a haircut appointment or a doctor appointment, participating in a carpool, doing your part on a PTA or charity committee, reading the book for your book club, coordinating a vacation, caring for parents, helping friends ... I know you have worried you would let someone down, and I know you have thought, "Ugh, I'm overwhelmed," or something like that ...
And I am just here to tell you ... when you are feeling that feeling, stop a second, take a deep breath, and then pat yourself on the back ... 'cause you're Vuggling, and it is not an easy thing to do! Your life is loaded with proverbial "balls," and you have got them up in the air, and I applaud you. Your fellow Vuvs applaud you, and they "get you" in that inexplicable way we "get" each other.
Dropped one? A "ball," that is? Happens to the best of us. Booked a trip on a date you were supposed to be at a dear friend's kid's bat mitzvah? (Not that I would know anything about that.) Messed up the date the kid's trunks were being picked up for camp? (Happy Birthday, Amy.) Fix it. Make it right. Move on. Don't focus on the ball that got away. Instead, look at all the times you got it right.
Don't say this "Vuggling" is a thankless art ... I'm thanking you now -- and if the "machine" that is your life is generally more "well-oiled" than not, then it is clear that others whose wants and needs you attend to appreciate you too.
Count your blessings. Count your balls. Keep 'em all in your sights.
|Leslie Adler mother, lawyer and creator of the Vuv Club shares her witty thoughts on the many roles women play in their everyday lives. Leslie also combines her legal skills and friendship experience as presiding judge of Momlogic's "The Friendship Court."|