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Would You Give Your Ex Custody?

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For one mom, the choice to have her son live with her ex-husband was a no-brainer.

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After 10 years of dating and two years of marriage, Andrena Andrews and her husband decided to get a divorce -- and her ex-husband relocated to Atlanta. While their split was friendly, one major issue needed to be figured out: where would their 10-year-old son live?

"Since our break-up was so amicable, there wasn't really a need for much long discussion early on. We just sorta said, 'We'll figure it out as we go.' It wasn't like some judge said, 'You'll have him for summers, and you'll have him during Christmas and spring breaks,'" Andrena said. "It's not like that at all. My ex-husband and I have a great relationship and share joint custody of Adam. It's very open and fair."

You might judge her as a bad mommy, but Andrena says she has good reasons for deciding to have young Adam live in Atlanta while she stayed in New York. While she admits that the divorce was hard on her, her own personal struggle did not influence her decision. She wanted her son to have green grass to play in, trees to climb, and the advantage of the Atlanta education system. And, according to her, there is nothing like having a boy be with his daddy

In this Essence exclusive interview, Andrena explains how her son has the best of both worlds, what her family thought about it, and why she is constantly on the phone with her son's school.

For the full interview, check out Essence.com.

Tell us the truth: Would you ever let your kids live with your ex?


next: Kate Gosselin to Larry King: The Show Will Go On
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Kristen August 26, 2009, 5:44 PM

It’s great to hear of parents putting there children first and not acting like highschoolers.

Jennifer August 26, 2009, 6:17 PM

I have a blended family. My oldest daughter at 14 moved into her fathers home about a year ago. We chose this because I moved, we didn’t want to change her schools and she gets her own room. Why not let her have achance at his home more then my own. I see and hear from her weekly. I miss her but it works. Then my step kids are here joint. They spend Wed - Sat with us, it works just fine. Then you have the kids we share, they are stuck with us lol. Really, its what’s best for the child. Its not about pride,ect. Please excuse any typos, on my Blackberry ;)

Anonymous August 26, 2009, 9:43 PM

Its good to hear stories of parents deciding what is best without all the drama.

ashley August 26, 2009, 11:57 PM

my daughters fatehr and i split a while back and i moved a province away it wasnt a very nice split but we were civil enough for our daughters sake. she lived with me but visited her dad frequently, now we live in the same city again and of course kiddo is with me and my husband most of the time but has frequent visits with her biological father who takes her for a few nights for a few hours a week and usually on the weekends. its good for childeren to have both parents in their life and for mine shehas two great dads.

Sierra August 28, 2009, 2:51 PM

If she thought it was such a great idea to have her child move to Atlanta for green grass, trees, and a better school system, maybe SHE should have decided to relocate for the love and welfare of her child. I kinda agree that there is nothing greater than a boy being raised by his dad, but I think that children should be equally raised by both parents. If they had a daughter together, would it then be okay for her to be raised by her mom?

Kyera September 19, 2009, 6:35 AM

When I read this article, I found it necessary to comment on it as many others have. I agree wholeheartedly that who better to raise a little boy to grow into a responsible, respectable man but the child’s father himself. It is a task and responsibilty that many men have walked away from, so KUDOS to Adam’s dad for stepping in and doing what is right for his child. Regarding the mother, Andrena-without knowing these people or the choices they made to end their marriage, there are more holes in her story than a slice of swiss cheese. She was real suspect when she wrote about - “they were young when they got together and eventually grew apart”, “she has a very demanding career and Adam doesn’t hinder her career in any way”, “she needed time to find out about herself, who she is and what she really wanted out of her life”. It looks as though she decided that SHE didn’t want to be a full-time wife and mother and stepped away from it all. I don’t think it was her “choice” to not live with her 10 year-old son, but rather a necessity for him to stay with the parent who was more responsible and prepared for the role of parent. It would be quite interesting to see if Adam’s dad had an opportunity to write an article-how different the “story” would be.

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