twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Four Ways to Be a Better Grandma

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Here are some ways to make the transition from mother to grandmother an easier one.

grandma holding grandson

Jill Spivack: Transitioning to grandparenthood can be a huge change for the grandparent. Here are four tips to make the transition an easier one.

Remember: Being a grandmother doesn't mean you're old.

Becoming a grandmother is a huge milestone ... but it's not an easy one for everyone to adjust to. In this youth-laden culture, suddenly being a granny can make you feel one step closer to the grave. If you are having a tough time dealing with these feelings, talk to friends or a therapist about what you're going through. After some time, you'll likely see that being a grandparent can actually make you feel young again.

Don't wallow in regret.

Becoming a grandparent can often stir up old regrets. Some may long for their youth again, when they were just starting down the path of parenting young children. If they live far from their new grandchild, they may long to be closer physically, or may feel resentment toward grandparents that live nearby their own grandkids. Remember: These feelings are all perfectly normal. Try to embrace the joys of grandparenthood, of which there are many.

Remind yourself that times have changed.

Grandparents need to understand that if they were parenting in the '60s and '70s, life was very different back then. The Internet alone has changed things so dramatically for today's parents. There are many more issues concerning safety in today's world, which causes today's parents not to have the same freedoms that you had with your kids (such as allowing kids to ride their bikes to a friend's house).

This doesn't mean your kids (and grandkids) can't learn from your experiences ... but try to avoid an "I know all" mentality. Just because you've "been there, done that" doesn't mean you have all the answers, because today's world is so different from the one in which you raised your children.

Respect your kids' parental decisions.

Be respectful of whatever journey your adult children are on, as long as it's not abusive to your grandchildren. Everyone learns and grows as parents over time, and young children are resilient as long as they are loved. If you are asked for advice directly, go for it ... but avoid offering tons of unsolicited advice. Treat your adult children respectfully, because they are the ultimate decision-makers, and ultimately they need to make their own parenting decisions.

Finally, a good grandmother is someone who is helpful, but NOT intrusive; older and wiser, but not opinionated or needy; someone who dotes on the grandkids but is respectful of mom and dad's primary role. It's really impossible to be perfect, but these tips can help.

What's your secret to being a good grandma?

next: Travoltas Make First Public Appearance Since Son's Death
8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous September 13, 2009, 4:22 PM

being a grand mother of 9 i have so much fun with them i play with them take t hem to the park dissapline when necessary i am so blessed to be able to keep up with t hem the oldest is 17 the youngest is 2 so lucky

Marc Herstein September 14, 2009, 2:42 PM

This was truly delightful and informative, thank you for sharing. Yesterday, national Grandparents Day, we have launched Grandchild Connection, a service that strengthens the bond between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandchild Connection allows distant grandparents and grandchildren to develop close, meaningful relationships by utilizing today’s technology of video conferencing. As part of the “VideoVisit” experience, we coach grandparents in educational and social activities that enhance the bonds they share with their grandchildren, and we provide the tools to achieve that end. We have launched our website today, National Grandparents Day, September 13th, 2009Come visit us @

Vivian Molacek December 2, 2010, 8:00 PM

Recently i ran across this page and have been browsing along. I thought I’d drop my very first comment because it truly captured my interest. I will visit back again frequently to look for new information.

Liza Casimiro December 3, 2010, 11:10 AM

I thought this was definitely a great and insightful post. Though I’m having difficulty getting the web site to display correctly for my safari web browser, any thought what might be wrong..?

NewGramm December 8, 2010, 7:03 AM

Thanks for the article, sage advice. I became a new gramm last year when my daughter had twin girls. I love being a grammy, doting on the babies, and helping out my daughter and son-in-law. Just be patient with yourself and your adult child and the transition to grandparenting will be smoothe and oh so enjoyable.

Loan Biemer December 13, 2010, 10:55 PM

Keep the articles coming. I really love reading your site. Many thanks.

Pa Mcateer January 16, 2011, 6:06 AM

Hello I just now came across your site from aol and I truly wanted to say that this was a amazing read this was in fact! However, I’m trying to add your current Rss but Im having problems locating it.

helosesi January 20, 2011, 4:31 AM

I would be really thankful if you speak with wellborn what you are bringing starboard now with your diary…I really enjoyed it…and i rattling increase to you for this….its ever feeling to register so….Thanks for sharing!!!

mitral valve

Back to top >>