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Happy Marriage Secret = Separate Beds?

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A new study says the key to a harmonious marriage is to sleep in separate beds. Maybe Lucy and Ricky were onto something ...

couple in separate beds

Dr. Neil Stanley, a sleep researcher at Surrey University in the U.K., says sleeping in separate beds helps couples escape arguments, and ensures a proper night's rest.

If a husband or wife snores, twin beds might not be an option either, and they should sleep in separate bedrooms, Dr. Stanley says -- a practice that was quite common before the Victorian era.

And he practices what he preaches: Dr. Stanley and his wife sleep in separate bedrooms.

What do you think about his controversial recommendation?


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14 comments so far | Post a comment now
RamyS September 10, 2009, 1:18 PM

I think it’s pretty silly, but now that I think of it, it would be kind of nice to have my own little escape place and he have his own and then maybe sex would be a little more fun, too…Sneaking into each others room at night, not being caught by the kids…lol..Ok, maybe not but I bet it has it pros! ha ha

Ta September 10, 2009, 6:48 PM

My Husband and I have been together for just shy of 10 years. 10 very happy years. We still “date”, we are still the best of friends. We spend more time together than any couple we know, and we enjoy our time together still. Everyone asks how we do it….for almost 10 years we have had separate beds. Lucy/Ricky style. We’ve always blamed our success on that. We chuckled when we saw this article, because for so many years most have found it very unacceptable. Proof that it does work.

Anonymous September 10, 2009, 7:37 PM

my husband and I have been tossing this idea back and forth for several years. We’ve been married 14 yrs. I think eventually we will go for it.

Anonymous September 10, 2009, 8:17 PM

When I got pregnant with my third child, we started sleeping in separate bedrooms. My tossing and turning was a detriment to his good nights sleep and his snoring destroyed mine. We’ve kept it that way for 3 years or so since our son sleeps in our room (the extra bedroom is not in a good place for a toddler to be)and my husband can’t handle my son’s frequent interruptions. It does get tough sometimes but mostly it works. We snuggle for about an hour before bedtime in his “bedroom” and we also have regular “trysts” there too. It works for us and I consider us happily married for the past 13 years.

ashley September 11, 2009, 5:08 AM

What works for some doesn’t for others. My husband and I would probably benefit from this. BUT, my parents have been married for 30 years and they sleep together, snuggled up together EVERY NIGHT and still have an active sex life!!

Briellis September 11, 2009, 5:10 AM

I am so happy there is an article supporting this. I have been talking to my husband about maybe having separate beds, if not bedrooms, for a while now. I can barely get to sleep what with his constant moving and all the heat he generates! By time I get to sleep, his alarm is going off at 4:30am. How am I supposed to function? I’ll dig up some more info on this study and present it to him.

Andrea September 11, 2009, 11:44 AM

Oh my god, i love it, i have been married for 14 years now, and we are always fighting in the middle of the night, either for my snoring (wich i dont think i do lol) or for his moving or vice versa, i printed this story out and im sooooo gonna show him cause ive talked about this before but he always shys away from it, maybe now he will think about it!!!!

Mom2two September 11, 2009, 1:43 PM

Even though this would probably be beneficial, I know my husband would NEVER go for it. He would feel that there was something wrong with us and our marriage. When our son stopped co-sleeping and moved into his own room he slept on our old queen size mattress on the floor. When he woke in the middle of the night and needed me, I spent the rest of the night there. We all go a great night sleep but my husband didn’t like us being apart. He often ends up waking up at 6 a.m. and can’t fall back to sleep because he claims that I’m snoring (I seriously doubt it :-))

aerialla September 11, 2009, 6:45 PM

I can’t imagine not sleeping next to my husband of 10 years. We can barely get through the day without being together. Every night we fall asleep holding hands while curled around each other. We have kids and on the very rare occasion they wanted us we just let them climb in and we all snuggled together. There has only been a few nights where we haven’t been together, but they were hell on earth. I can’t sleep without him near me.

Maybaby October 11, 2009, 7:20 PM

Dr. Stanley is on to something.
I totally agree. There is nothing worst then having your special someone snoring in your ear all night long.

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Sherell Millie March 2, 2011, 6:43 AM

I recently ran across your site and have really been browsing along. I was thinking I will leave my first comment as it truly caught my attention. I most certainly will visit back here quite often to look for fresh information.

Immobilier Bretagne March 6, 2011, 8:51 PM

It’s hard to seek out educated individuals on this topic, but you sound like you realize what you’re speaking about! Thanks


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