How is this even possible?

Ronda Kaysen: After fighting for her country for 10 months in Iraq, Leydi Mendoza returned home to find herself in another battle. This one was for her 2-year-old daughter, Elizabeth.

Leydi's ex-boyfriend, Daniel Llares, had been caring for their baby at his parents' house in New Jersey. But when Leydi returned home, Daniel ignored the family care plan the couple had worked out with the military before Leydi was deployed, and instead only allowed her brief, infrequent visits with her baby. He said sharing custody would be too disruptive to the little girl who he claims barely remembers her mom, and that he should have full custody.

"My daughter needs her mother," Specialist Mendoza told the New York Times last week at the National Guard Armory in Teaneck. "I left my daughter, and they told me that when I got back, she'd be with me again. But now, it's like I'm on my own."

Leydi isn't alone. Several other military moms from around the country have come home from war to find themselves mired in a custody battle. And judges are often unsympathetic to the mother's cause: there is still a social stigma against mothers who leave their children -- even if it's to serve their country. Moms like Leydi find themselves in family court with family care plans that are hashed out by the armed services but not enforced by them.

So Leydi is left fighting her ex-boyfriend for custody of their child. While she was in Iraq, she sent money to Daniel and his parents to help support Elizabeth, and carried a photo of her daughter inside her camouflage patrol cap that was part of her uniform in Baghdad. Since she's been back, she's been going to college in New Jersey, studying to be a math teacher, and has racked up more than $6,000 in legal fees.

"I wanted Elizabeth to grow up and be proud that her mother had served her country," Leydi told the Times. "And we needed the health care and the military benefits and the help paying for my school."

It's heartbreaking to see something like this happen to a mom who has made such an enormous sacrifice for her country and her child. Yes, Elizabeth hasn't seen her mother in 10 months, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't need her mom and can't bond with her again. American soldiers have been through enough -- and have enough hurdles to face when they return home. They should at least know that the custody arrangements they make for their children will be honored upon their return.

Ronda Kaysen is a freelance writer. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, BusinessWeek.com, Architectural Record, Huffington Post, New York Observer and AM New York. She lives in Brooklyn with her family.