Single Mom Seeking: I admit it: I'm a big Selena Gomez fan. But when I saw Gomez on "Extra" explaining that she'd asked her parents for a promise ring -- and they brought the ring to the church to have it blessed -- I thought: "What, exactly, is she promising?"
She's not the only one. The Jonas Brothers say on their website that they also wear rings "as a promise that they will stay sexually pure until marriage."
You might have heard about this via the Video Music Awards promise ring debate, after VMA host Russell Brand derided the Jonas Brothers for their purity vow.
In response, singer Jordin Sparks proudly showed off her own purity ring and shot back: "I just have one thing to say about promise rings," she announced to the audience. "It's not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody -- guy or girl -- wants to be a slut."
Just what is this purity ring thing all about anyway?
The abstinence-only message is simply not successful, explains Fox, who is also the author of the Middle School Confidential™ book series. "Education helps kids make choices -- NOT pledges."
"If the message is WAIT to have sex," she adds, "that's not a bad message."
Instead, however, the message that promise rings send is, "if you wear this ring, people think you are superior in a moral way. If you don't wear this ring, you're suspect."
"And what happens when you break the promise? Do you feel like you've sinned? Do you have to hide this from your parents? Now, you've betrayed your parents' trust -- and God's, too."
"I think that these stars benefit financially by having a squeaky clean image," adds Fox, who recently spent the day with teen celebrities at the Teen Choice Awards.
"If they can flash it on their finger, great! But who's to know what really happens unless someone comes forward?"
"No, I do not endorse young girls having sex," adds Fox. "But as parents, we need to do the best job possible to educate our kids."
What do you think?
|Rachel Sarah, a.k.a. "Single Mom Seeking" blogs at SingleMomSeeking.com and co-founded SingleMommyHood.com, the first-ever website to offer "a whole new way to think about life."|