What's a single mom to do when her kid refuses to let mommy have time with her "special friend"?
Single Mom Seeking: I recently went on vacation with my boyfriend -- and my kid. We had a great time going to the beach and snorkeling. What I didn't anticipate or plan for, however, was who would sleep where.
Imagine this: we were staying at a big one-bedroom place -- with a huge couch and a roll-away bed in the living room. (You should also know that I've been a single mom from the get-go. My kid and I have a very tight bond. A committed boyfriend hasn't changed that.)
First thing, I whispered to my boyfriend: "Where do you think everyone will sleep?"
He looked at me like I was joking. "We'll sleep in the bedroom," he said. "And your daughter can sleep on the roll-away bed."
I hadn't really given much thought to bedtime (uh oh!) -- and, yes, my fourth grader would see right through my vulnerabilities.
Anyway, I found the roll-away bed in the closet and pulled it out. It looked a bit sad and frumpy.
Still, I put a fitted sheet on the little cot, with a flowery comforter and a soft pillow. When I sat down on the cot and waved my kid over, she made an icky face. "I'm NOT sleeping there!" she said.
Short story: the boyfriend ended up on the cot (I'm sorry, hon!).
After hearing about my dilemma, my trusted Sanity Fairy, Dr. Leah, shot off an e-mail to me: "Sleeping arrangements are an adult decision. Balking at sleeping on the cot in Hawaii had nothing to do with the cot," she explained.
Indeed, my daughter was testing the limits. How do other single moms handle this sleeping dilemma? What do they do when their kids feel like Mom's boyfriend is in the way? And what do moms do when they feel guilty or vulnerable?
|Rachel Sarah, a.k.a. "Single Mom Seeking" blogs at SingleMomSeeking.com and co-founded SingleMommyHood.com, the first-ever website to offer "a whole new way to think about life."|