Suck It Up: 10 Pretty Weird Pacifiers

Blingiest Bink

When we hear it reportedly costs $221,190 to raise a child from birth to 18 (not including college), what's another $17K? That's the price of the world's most expensive pacifier, made from 14-karat white gold with a silicone nipple, and sporting over 278 pave-cut diamonds totaling 3 carats. Sounds nice, no?There's only one problem: just like O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi," you'd have to sell your kid to afford one.

Baby Is a Punk Rocker

Before your baby can even talk, let everyone know your kid's "too cool for school" and could possibly kick some ass when his feet get bigger.
Crazy Baby Clothing Company's Skull and Crossbones Pacifiers come in a variety of colors just right for little punks.

The Cautionary Tale Pacifier

Dr. Rathenow, a Portuguese dental surgeon, distributed these promotional pacifiers to young children's parents. Each pacifier came with a business card stating: "Take your baby for a check-up before it's too late!"

Yikes.

Cork 'Em with Cash

Aptly named, Aristabrat has a line of Swarovski-encrusted binks for around a hundred bucks each. Each come with over 300 crystals. If having a bunch of teeny tiny choking hazards glued to your kid's pacifier has you concerned, you're not alone: many blinged-out binks have been recalled.

Fo' Shizzle, Baby

On the package, Baby's First Grill pacifier says it's "dentist approved." Unfortunately your baby doesn't get to approve this blatant form of public humiliation.

Label Your Kid Early

The novelty of these Expression Pacifiers will never wear off -- well, after they've been dropped, run over by the stroller, and put through the dishwasher a hundred times, it might.

Bella Tettarella (Beautiful Pacifier)

What Italians have done with shoes, they've done with pacifiers. Each Vice Versa Binky + Case set comes with a binky neatly tucked inside its own matching case. Fashion accessory or kid-corker?

This Little Piggy Had a Pacifier

This pig snout paci also comes with piggy ears if you fancy dressing your babe up like a side of ham this Halloween.

It's About Time

If this isn't real, it oughta be. This iPod called the iSuck supposedly runs on baby sucking. Hey, what's that kid listening to? Lady Gaga?

Germaphobes Rejoice!

For those who don't subscribe to the 3-second rule of dropping things on the filthy floor, there's a pacifier for you. The BébéSounds® AlwaysClean Pacifier is equipped with a cover that automatically closes if the binkie is dropped or hurled to the ground.