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"The Funniest Thing I Ever Said ... During Sex!"

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We asked our moms on Gather and in the Community to share, and boy did they ever! Take a look:

couple laughing in bed

We had chili for dinner and I had gas, and the funniest thing I can remember saying was "Hang on honey, I have to toot," we started giggling afterwards. -- Karen

I really killed the momentum with "did I tell you that my parents are coming next week?" ... -- Barbara

It wasn't during the actual sex but during the foreplay. I removed my glasses because they were smashing into my face and then proceeded to say, "wow, that's better." Of course my hubby thought that I meant it was better because I couldn't see him clearly anymore. He still gives me a hard time about it 5 or 6 years later. -- Amy

I said "My casserole!" at a critical moment, because it was then I remembered my casserole in the oven. -- Carol

"When we're done here, do you wanna go out for hot dogs?" My husband immediately cracked up, but it didn't slow him down. I can't imagine WHY I had hot dogs on the brain. -- Brooke

I think the funniest thing I ever said would have to be "Hakuna matata!!!" -- Erin

The funniest thing I have said I think was "Stop right now, I mean it!" and I was talking to the dog that was licking my foot and my husband thought I was talking to him and something was wrong. -- Susan

Do you mind if I go get something to eat ... and then continue? -- Elizabeth

Right after I climaxed, I busted out saying "puh-puh-puh-puh-POTATO!" My husband to this day doesn't let me live it down. -- Yoly

"We should put a TV on the ceiling!" I said it with such enthusiasm too at the time. -- Nevada



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15 comments so far | Post a comment now
tom September 20, 2009, 5:10 PM

Just so you ladies know… “Are you in yet?” isn’t funny.

Anonymous September 20, 2009, 9:20 PM

Who farted?

dcardona September 21, 2009, 7:18 AM

I drank too much juice!

Becki M September 21, 2009, 8:49 AM

Wow. Karen is really nasty.
I wouldn’t crawl into bed with a bloated-belly farting chili machine. That’s pretty disgusting actually.

I get that it’s “natural” but THANK GOD my BF and I have a relationship where we prefer to keep some things private for the sake of keeping the romance alive.
… and well, you guys fart away in your dutch oven together, my way works JUST fine.

Ew… gross!

Beckisux September 21, 2009, 10:41 AM

Lighten up, Becki! And just wait until the romance dies and BF lets it rip!

Kara September 21, 2009, 2:55 PM

ok im sorry but i have to share this little Romance story… my husband was crawling on the bed.. and well, he had gas and lots of it.. so he tooted his way up to me and said “that was my mating call, do you like it”.. all i could do was laugh till i started crying.. then laugh some more.. to some that may be nasty but to me that was one of the funniest moments

Stacey-ann September 21, 2009, 4:31 PM

Karen that was tooooo funny!!!…u made me almost turn over in my chair!!!…lmao…good one tho!

Megs September 21, 2009, 6:33 PM

I said one time, “Oh my god! Where’s the dog?!?” That kinda ruined it. No really, I was worried about our dog outside!

stepheee September 22, 2009, 3:32 PM

OH BECKI UR A JEW! WAIT TILL THE ROMANCE FAILS N HE COMES HOME TO MAMA! ILL KEEP HIM WARM!

becki September 23, 2009, 7:47 AM

A jew?
Wow, thats mature.
Actually I’m Danish, not that it matters.

And considering we’ve been happy for years and people are always commenting on our happiness and each others talents and beauty (we’re accomplished artists), I don’t think him leaving me for his mom or you will happen anytime soon.

Nice try though.
I’m used to people wanting what I have though.
So it’s not a big deal.

jo September 23, 2009, 11:40 AM

becki SUXXX at life and HER HUSBAND SUXXX in bed!

Dave October 9, 2009, 3:45 PM

What about the stuff you want to say, but are too scared to! I want to go down on my wife but the odour is too much. What can I say and do to make this work out?

NedNoD October 19, 2009, 12:24 PM

Husband- ‘Let’s roll out!” (He’s a transformers nerd…

Okay, there is a story behind this next one… So my man and I are comfortable with ourselves and our bodily functions. Aaand farts are still funny (you’d think on the verge of 30 they’d not be, but I can’t help but to laugh). I was sitting on the couch earlier that morning and the cat was on the back of it, and she farted in my face. I vowed revenge.

Later that night - we were getting touchy feely when the cat walks by and I really need to pass gas- to which I said “Holy crap! Give me the cat! I have to fart!”

Needless to say there wasn’t any sex that night but a 30 minute laugh-fest about my priorities.

Sophie Wingo December 2, 2010, 8:01 PM

Just like the old saying goes, while in the expert’s thoughts there are few scenarios, but for one with a beginner’s brain, everything is open.

Ossie Laut December 2, 2010, 8:15 PM

As the saying goes, from the expert’s thoughts there aren’t many possibilities, however for an individual possessing a beginner’s mind, everything is wide open.


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