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PiscesUnleashed: The Way Nature Intended
Actress Joy Bryant, star of the upcoming NBC drama "Parenthood," goes OFF on the kiddie leash culture in her Bohemian Rhapsody blog featured on Essence.
leash (noun): a chain, strap, etc., for controlling or leading a dog or animal*
Yesterday, I was parked in front of a strip mall restaurant and noticed a man holding a leash. The man was standing near a pillar, so I couldn't see what was on the other end. Understand, I am a huge dog lover. So I couldn't wait to see what kind of doggie the man had. Was it a little hot dog, or a big mastiff? A puggle or a pit?
Eventually, the man walked near my car. My jaw dropped.
"Hey!" I said to myself. "That ain't a dog, that's a little boy!"
A two-year-old little boy.
What the ????
The man was leading the child around as if he watched way too many episodes of "The Dog Whisperer." I mean, Cesar Millan would have been proud -- if it was a dog!
What is up with this whole child harness/leash thing?
I realize that it's easy for me to think that it's weird since I don't have kids. Perhaps I just don't understand how hard it is to be a parent; to have to run after your child and make sure they're safe. But, to be perfectly honest, it freaks me out every time I see a child attached to one of those things.
When did we make the leap from simple hand-holding to using dog sled equipment?
When I got home, I went online to investigate. I wanted to find information about the pros and cons of harness/leash/tether from parents out there. Here's the lowdown. Some were straight out against using them, while others felt that it was very necessary, and even helpful. Many of the pro-leash parents said that it helped with keeping an eye on their special needs kids or their "wild" child. Some even suggested that if they didn't have a leash, their kid would "just run off."
Wow ... just run off?
I wish I would have "just run off" from my grandmother, who raised me in the Bronx. Ah, yeah. My ability to run would have been greatly impaired.
Seriously, living on a leash is not how nature intended.
Thanks to Joy Bryant and our friends at Essence.
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- 23 Comments
She’s not even a mom. Some kids LIKE the leash. My kids never took to them, but when you have a monkey who likes to explore it’s a heckuva lot safer to have your kid strapped to you. They know how far they can go, and you don’t have to fear them running away.
There is much to be said for good training, but there is a time between when training starts and when it actually KICKS IN. And yes to having more than one child or a special needs child.
Leashes are NOT CHILD ABUSE!
I HATE to see kids on leashes…we live near Disney World, and everytime we go there are at least 100 differant kids on leashes…here is an idea…hold there hand… get a stroller….or bettewr yet, teach them to stay beside you…WOW!!! What a forward thinking idea…teach your children to mind!
I have written on this before. My son used a backpack/leash thing (it looked like a puppy dog tail), when he went for walks with his Nana or his Grandma. They’re not able to keep up with the darting of a little kid, but they desperately want to take him for walks. It was, and is, a compromise we can all live with.
Maybe this women should try enjoying a vacation in a busy city or museum, theme park, etc. with 2 kids under the age of 5. Yes, try to enjoy yourself while constantly checking to make sure your kids are with you, that they have not wandered off or snatched by someone. Try enjoying time away from home in a new place filled with strangers and see how long your kids last holding your hand. Try maneuvering a stroller with a five year old and a 3 year old in it! Shall we deny our kids the fun, learning experiences of traveling to new places with family? NO, a HARNESS (not a LEASH) allows parents to keep tabs on kids while leaving a hand free for you and two for them! Everyone is free to enjoy themselves and kids actually feel some independence! Its not like a leash that you use to reign in your dog, it just keeps kids close. Walk in a mothers shoes before you judge her
Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/comment-preview.php#ixzz0QYfw6lPF
A stroller. You mean one of those wheeled contraptions that affords the kids NO FREEDOM instead of partial freedom? An active kiddo can only handle that for so long.
Amen, LaLa3!
With all the news about abductions and missing children, why are we judging parents for using a harmless and safe method of keeping an eye on their little ones. Can you blame a parent for wanting to keep her kids safe? Sometimes children pull away from a parents hand (kids being kids), even a second can be enough time for a child to get lost in a crowd or grabbed by someone.
I love how momlogic posts a blog from a non mother. Yeah…we’re going to take parenting advice from a single, unattached, childless woman. Uh huh.
“Seriously, living on a leash is not how nature intended.”
If that’s the case, then why leash a dog? Why not the same outrage if she thought the leash had a dog on the end since she is such a huge dog lover? According to her way of thinking, nature didn’t intend for the dog to be on a leash either.
As the parent of a non-verbal, Autistic 4 year old who has no fear and can’t grasp the consequences of running out in traffic or going with strangers, I will leash her if the situation warrants it…and if that makes her uncomfortable, so be it. I do everything I can, as a parent, to make sure that she is kept safe both from her environment and from herself.
Fascinating judgment from someone who has no idea what she is talking about. I personally don’t like harnesses, but I have a wild and crazy 2.5 yo, and there have been moments when my husband demanded we put it on (one, we were camping and she kept running towards the fire, for instance).
There are situations that absolutely warrant it, and historically, cultures throughout time have used strings attaching the parents and child at the wrist, or packs on their backs to keep children safe and near.
OH! And I LOVE the comment about just teaching your child to stay close — it’s so easy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I have very well behaved kids — and still, sometimes they take off. THEY ARE KIDS. That’s what they do. You did it, I did it. As a parent, it is my job to keep them safe in a very crazy, hectic world.
Mama Lost
A co-working, who is alo in the process of adopting was telling the story of how he had is younger sister on a leash and some pervert grabbed her and took off running. Not knowing that he had her wrist leashed to his, he was 11 or 12 at the time. A good samaritan saw what was going on because he was yelling like hell and still holding onto the leash in his hand. The good samaritan tackled the pervert detaining him until the cops later showed up. Had he just been holding her hand the “civilized and humane way” that everyone preaches and swears by he probably would have never seen her alive again. So please people spare me your its barbaric rhetoric it has saved alot of kids from being violated and killed later on by would be perverts. I use it because my 2 year old son darted away and was almost hit by a car. No amount of telling him and disciplinging him has gotten through to him yet, he likes to leave as soon as his lttle feet hit the pavement whether he is with an adult or not. So I say once again people please let others parent their child the way the see fit and not cast your judgements, because you never know what situation has brought them to where they are.
Let’s see her tune change after she has kids herself. A leash was the ideal solution for my two year old and me - he got a limited range of freedom without me grabbing his arm or shirt collar constantly. My mother needed the leash because she couldn’t keep up with him due to joint problems, and he wasn’t reliable enough to walk patiently beside her. He’s TWO, of course he’s gonna spaz out a bit and run to look at something if he isn’t held, be it by hand or by leash. I also needed the leash when I was pregnant and couldn’t run after him, similar to my mother’s situation.
Honestly, it’s not like we chain our children up like sled dogs and put this on them like punishment. I don’t see many unhappy leashed kids b/c they HAVE the FREEDOM they want, and their parents have the control they NEED.
We used the leash for about 9 months tops, from 18 months to before he was 2 1/2. After that, it really IS all about hand holding, learning to listen, to stay with your family, etc.
I find the opinions of people who haven’t had to care for young children for an extended period to be generally without much merit.
that’s because parents cannot control their kids so they use the easy way out.
It is NOT for parents who cannot control their kids!! Do you know how many extremely well behaved toddlers there are out there? Or what about me? I have TWIN TODDLERS!! Unless I want to keep them INSIDE till they’re like FIVE I either have them strapped into a stroller OR on a harness. I will take crap from anyone about it because A: they are getting out and getting excercise, and B: they ARE SAFE. I am only one person, so what am I going to do if they go in TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS in a crowded mall or near a busy street??? DONT JUDGE until you have been in a position to need one (or two)
Please…she is a PAID HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS…you know they know everything about everything yet know nothing!!!
Would you prefer a leash or the horror of a parent searching for their missing child…It’s not a leash dear it’s called keeping your child safe.
Something your future nanny can explain to you when you have a child.
Things that make you go hmmmm!!!
Never needed a leash for my kids.
if i had of known about child leashes 12 years ago your damn right my child would have had one on her.try holding the hand of a child with autism who would scream and cry and injure herself because she was touched by a humans hand.as for teaching her to mind i guess i could have carried around a rolled up newspaper and whacked her like a dog every time she bolted.hell even at 12 i still think she needs a damn leash
Cat B., they ARE for people who can’t control their kids. If your kids need a leash so that they don’t run in different directions in a public place then you can’t control them. There’s no shame in having kids or run about but don’t act as if you can control them, otherwise you wouldn’t bother with the leash.
A mom i think your dh needs to put you on a leash it is pretty clear that he can not control you.oh and a gag would be nice to smiles
“I wish I would have “just run off” from my grandmother, who raised me in the Bronx. Ah, yeah. My ability to run would have been greatly impaired.” Yeah I’m sure that’s what nature intended.
Those that cast the first stone.
Judge when you have more than two kids and only two arms and/or one kid that’s autistic or something like that. And don’t tell me that strollers exist instead cause my arguement for that is a stroller is a “leash on wheels”.