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Why I Win the Mommy Title

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That's right -- I said it ... your kid could possibly like me more than you. And here's why.

nanny and child waving goodbye to mother

Mary Poppins: I have seen it time and time again -- the panic in the face of your child when I'm leaving or when she listens to me instead of you, and yes, it is sad that I have somehow managed to supersede your position as mommy. But fear not, here are five reasons why this happens:

1. I have no mommy guilt. I don't run out the door for a meeting, leaving my kid, who desperately wants to play with me. I am with her all day, so I don't blame her bad behavior on others or myself. I make her take responsibility for her actions and give her loving praise when the situation calls for it. 

2. I know how to use the word "no." A lot of working moms struggle with this. They don't want to tell their child no because of the whole mommy guilt thing, but they also don't want to have an out-of-control child. The problem is that you use the word "no" incorrectly. You come home tired and overworked and just say no to everything because you are out of patience. I say no because I am actually listening to what your daughter is saying. Kids are not stupid -- they know when they are being engaged in conversation or ignored.

3. I do not try to buy her love. Your daughter knows how to work you. She catches that look in your eye that means you are going to disappoint her and capitalizes on it. She knows that she will get that new Barbie she wants when you don't show up to her dance recital, but she also knows that I'll be there waiting for her at the end of the show.

4. I do not compromise my standards and expectations. Your daughter knows the kind of behavior I will tolerate from her. She knows that if we are out at the park and she throws a tantrum, we go home. She does not cry and whine all the time because she understands that I will listen to her if she uses her words. You, on the other hand, just give her whatever she wants because you don't know how to deal with her.

5. Your child respects me. I am there. I set boundaries. So when I tell her she has done a good job or that she cannot play outside, she knows I mean it. She has come to depend on the fact that I do and say things with her best interest at heart.

next: Soap Star Expecting Child Via Surrogate
15 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jill September 8, 2009, 8:35 AM

I am a working Mom. I say ‘No’, make it to all the recitals, games, etc. And no, I don’t have any “mommy guilt” because I work. Please, this article is insulting.

deaddrift September 8, 2009, 10:09 AM

Congratulations on your wonderfulness. It must be very pleasant to be better than others.

We all envy you a great deal, you know.

Anonymous September 8, 2009, 11:04 AM

Arrogant, stupid, pointless. Go get a day job.

Chrissy September 8, 2009, 12:18 PM

Another pointless article from Momlogic. Keep it up and I’m sure that those of s who come here for USEFUL articles and information will stop coming by.

N September 8, 2009, 1:37 PM

wait this mary poppins isn’t even a mom, she is just a nanny and a psycho one at that.

Glenn September 8, 2009, 4:46 PM

GREAT ARTICLE!! I’m sure there are a whole lot of angry moms out there who have read this article and think, this article isn’t about me and my kid! I’m a great mommy! It’s not my fault that my kids won’t listen to me and are behind in their school work and are having “issues” at home and school. Guess what, if you feel insulted by this article then you’ve got more problems as a parent then you are able to admit to yourself.

Each of the five points this article makes is absolutely right. Most moms AND DADS just don’t want to hear it.

marsha epstein September 9, 2009, 4:48 AM

While I can appreciate some of the sentiments of Mary Poppins, her statements are so categorical, shallow and insensitive. I also hear competitiveness and hostility towards the mother.

The role of the nanny is not to, never to replace the mommy but to be an integral part of the team. A good nanny is a sensitive, communicative, empathetic and developmentally saavy professional who values the role of the parents.

If a nanny is feelng the negative feelings that she or he feels towards a parent they should vote with their feet not their mouth.

Another Nanny September 9, 2009, 5:20 AM

I am a nanny, and I have seen this time and time again. I agree with this post. Most moms do get jealous that their kids would rather say “good morning” to me than “goodbye” to them! And their kids cry when I leave…not when they do.

I spend more hours with their kids then they do…and this is my job! They listen better for me, respect me and know that they can not whine and cry like they do with their parents. What makes it more awkward is when I punish or speak to their child about their behavior/attitude when they are in front of their parents.

But I love these kids. And its not just a job. I am a part of their family now. I got to birthday parties and recitals not because I have to, but because I truly love them!

Glenn September 9, 2009, 11:32 AM

You see marsha, you’re missing the point of this article. True it is written in a brash and perhaps arrogant manner, but the point that Mary Poppins is making here is that working moms should look at their own behavior, motivations and attitudes when they are with their child. I read at least two new articles a week on HOW WORKING MOMS DEAL WITH THE GUILT. Why is that? Because it’s a topic that gets a huge response from working moms. So working moms have issues and guilt with working and those issues are addressed in this article. Most parents (this include a lot of dads) don’t realize how their own issues are affecting their children. Well, this article tells you exactly. 1) NO MOMMY GUILT AND THE LENIENCY THAT GOES WITH IT. 2) LISTEN TO YOUR KID, DON’T TREAT YOUR KID POORLY BECAUSE YOU’RE TIRED FROM WORK. 3) DON’T BUY YOUR KID STUFF FOR NO REASON. 4) SET LIMITS AND EXPECTATIONS AND KEEP THEM. 5) SHOW YOUR KID RESPECT, BE CONSISTENT. It’s GREAT advice for anyone who is able to listen.

Nope September 9, 2009, 7:35 PM

Its good that you don’t have to work.

Good for you.

Give me some money now so I don’t have to work.

Chrissy September 9, 2009, 11:44 PM

What about all those nannies who have children themselves? How do they feel about the person/people they leave their kids with when they have to go to work?
Are they aware their kids might like their caregiver better?
Lets hope “Mary Poppins” has this situation visited upon her.

Brigette September 10, 2009, 1:59 PM

This article was hilarious and sad to me. I am a full time student/mother/employee. My daugther goes to daycare 8 hours a day. You know who she runs to at the end of a day arms wide open and screaming “MOOOOOOOOMMMY” yep you guessed it , me, her mother. If you feel so compelled to put yourself on a pedestal please do so, but remember we are the mothers you’re just the hand that rocks the cradle ;)

dmarie September 11, 2009, 2:01 PM

Wow, that is a pretty broad generalization. I work because I have to financially, and because I am called to work with the severely disabled children I work with. I do not have guilt because I never miss my kids’ games, I do not buy them everything they want, and I set consistant rules and boundries. My children love ME best because I love them best, put them first, and respect them and am there for them daily and nightly 365 days a year. This is why I would never have a nanny…pompous b*tch.

Lacey September 13, 2009, 10:41 AM

I love this article and it is so true unfortunately to Many moms. I am a stay at home mom and have been a working mom I have had mommy guilt but understand that it isn’t going to do my son any favors by giving into everything. I think it is a very well spoken article.

Sueper November 26, 2009, 11:03 AM

This is where I stop reading this blog.
Though the comments you make may be relevant to some working mothers I find the generalisaion insulting and I was always lucky enough to be a stay at home mum. I find your remarks unjustifiabley judgmental and arrogant and think its about time you gave your head a shake and realised You are not all that.
If that’s how you feel towards the mothers of your charges you are definatly in the wrong job.
Seems to me that you may be vying for the childrens affection yourself.
Do you have kids of your own? maybe its time you did then you dont need to try being super mom to other peoples.

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