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Women Who Orgasm During Breastfeeding

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You don't have to feel ashamed -- it's perfectly natural. An expert tells us why.

woman breastfeeding

Dr. Wendy Walsh: When I was pregnant with my first child, I was hosting a show for TLC called "How'd They Do That?" And every day, my mind was asking the same question about pregnancy and breastfeeding. All my female coworkers became a petri dish for me as I probed their minds for information about what the heck was going on with my body.

I was the most nervous about successfully breastfeeding. Frankly, I had no idea how the two orbs with nerve endings directly connected to some pleasurable southern region could be converted into a cafeteria. One morning, as I sat in the makeup chair with my middle bursting with new life, I posed a seemingly crazy question: Could a woman have an orgasm while breastfeeding?

There was a pause. There was a sly smile from the makeup artist. The hairdresser hooted and hollered. Others just laughed their asses off. But I didn't take my eyes off the makeup artist.

Later, when we were alone, I asked her again. She smiled again. "It's more of a sensuous experience," she said, "not a sexual one. It feels warm and cuddly and pleasurable, but it's different from sex. If you had an orgasm, it wouldn't be on purpose."

Years later, I thought of this conversation. I was in one of my human sexuality classes in my psychology Ph.D. program, and we were learning that the nerve endings in our body can respond to physical stimulation even if our brain is not on board. In this case, we were talking about rape, and the confusing feelings that can happen to victims of rape when during this horrific crime they sometimes experience a spontaneous orgasm. What an awful thought.

When my first daughter was finally born (pried out after 42 weeks in the oven), breastfeeding was anything but pleasurable. I like to call the newborn phase of breastfeeding "the vampire weeks," as that tiny, violent, sucking machine increases milk supply. But after a few months, I realized my makeup artist was right. Totally pleasurable. But a far cry from sexual arousal.

As I continued to nurse, I read far and deep into the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and child. One thing I learned is that prolonged breastfeeding can help reduce your chances of getting breast cancer because it stops your periods and the monthly assault of estrogen on your breasts. That was enough for me, since my mother died of breast cancer. I continued on. I also learned that often babies suckle for comfort rather than from hunger, and that there are psychological benefits to this suckling. That sounded good too.

You saw the title of this article, so you know where I'm going here. I never, ever, mentally connected a breastfeeding experience with a sexual experience. The mental boundary was so great that I was convinced it was impossible. Then one night while I was sleeping, I had one of those fabulous dreams that, if a guy had had it, would have involved moisture. You've heard about them. I woke up from the dream to find that my tiny vampire had been doing some nocturnal suckling while I slept. Let me tell you, the experience totally freaked me out. And that was it. I had a co-sleeping bed beside me after that. I needed that bundle an arm's length away.

Later, in another human sexuality class, I asked my professor about this experience. She confirmed that it is possible and probably quite common, although people have feelings of shame about it. Pleasurable breastfeeding was probably one of nature's ways to make a survival behavior attractive. She also told me that many women quit breastfeeding for this reason. For some women, the feelings of an infant suckling can be so pleasurable that they feel it is somehow wrong. That made me feel sad too. Breastfeeding is not pedophilia. Nature brought mommies and babies together for one of the most physically pleasurable relationships on earth. Let them suckle -- and do enjoy it, ladies. It is such a short period in both of your lives. And if your body responds without your consent, relax. Just buy a co-sleeper bed.







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136 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sarah September 9, 2009, 4:24 PM

to the people saying that the writer is “gross” or “pedophiliac” for having an involuntary and natural, albeit awkward, bodily response to breastfeeding represent the kinds of people that makes bill maher say that americans are stupid. your ignorance and immaturity is mind boggling.

caroline September 23, 2009, 2:34 PM

It’s a perfectly healthy reaction in a perfectly healthy relationship. Feeding with physical pleasure stimulates the baby enormously: its organs, its activities and last but not least, its sense of self. the only language a newborn knows is body language. It can feel its mother’s pleasure in feeding it. That’s fantastic! It’s a gift of nature. It’s a pity that there are so many women who have a poor and troubled relationship with their own body…..

Anonymous December 26, 2009, 6:26 AM

Awesome. I’m totally going to have a baby so I can use it to have orgasms.

caroline January 3, 2010, 9:27 AM

anonymous, cannot you just masturbate??

Rachel January 8, 2010, 10:21 PM

It’s embarrassing how incredibly immature people are. I totally agree with “Riana’s” standpoint on this subject and couldn’t have put it better myself. I myself am a breastfeeding mother and no one purposely links this to sexual feelings. The point is that they are involuntary. Grow up people.

MomToBe February 19, 2010, 5:04 PM

I’ve heard of breastfeeding women have milk shoot out during sex and orgasm with their partners…proof that hormones can serve as a link between breastfeeding and orgasm. Evolution is a tricky devil!

Michael Angell February 19, 2010, 7:57 PM

It disheartens me, after reading this article, how quickly (and defensively, I might add) responders to this article forgot the major point(s) of it and began
arguing amongst themselves, using such righteous ad “feel-good” terms as “sick,” “dirty,” and “wrong.” Come
on, ladies, she’s not hurting ANYone by expressing an
educated point-of-view (and wherein do we see the
term “morals,” girls? Stick to your guns in private, but
stick to the point on the page!

blp33 March 25, 2010, 2:21 PM

Sorry to the woman brave enough to post this in the first place. Some of these responses are completely ignorant and appalling! I tried to breastfeed twins for about 3 weeks and then I finally gave up because I couldn’t get both to latch at the same time. I felt like a 24/7 milk machine, but because of the benefits of breast milk I opted to pump. I, too, have a very ‘orgasmic’ like sensation during pumping. I have not actually experienced a full orgasm, but I’m sure I could if I allowed myself. There is a bit of an awkwardness, but all I can say is god works in mysterious ways. Thank you again for posting. I’m glad I’m not the only one out there experiencing this.

Nish April 1, 2010, 8:11 PM

Im pregnant and planning on BF ,but this article really scares me.It does!I dont want my child to gow up to be ed gein..I dunno

Mark April 9, 2010, 1:44 PM

1st year premed student here. The reason some women can feel pleasure in their genital region during breast feeding is all due to the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is secreted from a small, bi-lobed gland located underneath the brain called the pituitary gland. It plays an important role in breast feeding by stimulating the smooth muscle cells around the mammary glands in the breast to contract. This + the suckling from your child is what forces the milk out of your nipples. In addition to effecting the breasts, oxytocin also targets the uterus. When it’s released from the pituitary during breast feeding, it travels through the blood and also binds to your receptors down south, this induces uterine contractions, and may lead to a pleasurable or painful feeling depending on the woman. Just to put things in perspective, oxytocin is responsible for the contractions of the uterus and vagina when a woman experiences an orgasm during intercourse.

Song July 12, 2010, 9:16 AM

Stop being immature.. It is only natural to orgasm when your baby sucks on your boob. They can’t help it. If it disgusts you so much, then don’t breastfeed your kid.

Emma August 30, 2010, 5:21 AM

I have 3 kids.. and the best orgasms I have ever had were during breastfeeding.. I usually awake to find my child nursing and I am soaked with my own fluids.. what should I do.. or nothing (just keep having more kids)? (g)

Donald September 3, 2010, 3:17 AM

How very sad…so many narrow minded people. you know that laws for “pedophilia” have changed over the last 500 years, and still in some countries it’s considered legal? Remember this phrase: Moral Opinion. And stop forcing others to live by yours.

nina September 7, 2010, 9:22 AM

i had 4 breast orgasms in 1 hour masturbation

Sam September 14, 2010, 2:06 PM

Anyone saying what a great bonding experience or whatever else is being suggested…If it were a MAN having an orgasm while performing some biological need for their child, what would you be saying? I’m sure the man would be drawn and quartered. I don’t care if it is “involuntary,” an orgasm is a SEXUAL EXPERIENCE and some women are okay with this being caused by their baby? Stop deluding yourselves! Make any excuse you want, but this is disgusting and any woman that considers this a “sensual experience” needs to be kept away from children. Period.

Meg September 19, 2010, 4:28 AM

I’ve breastfed two children now and it’s not the sort of experience that I would call ‘orgasmic’. Unpleasant, slightly uncomfortable, yes - but orgasmic? No not at all.

domenic r. November 15, 2010, 5:25 PM

WOMEN WHO BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED WHEN BREASTFEEDING A BABY,ESPECIALLY AN OLDER CHILD IS A PEDOPHILE AND SHOULD BE ARRESTED JUST LIKE A MAN WHO IS A PEDOPHILE. AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WOMEN WHO GO A STEP FURTHER TO ACHIEVE THAT VERY BIG O.

domenic r. November 15, 2010, 5:35 PM

BUT YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE FOR BREASTFEEDING TO CAUSE SEXUAL AROUSING ARE MISSING A MAJOR POINT HERE. IF MEN WERE TO BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED BY SOMKE KIND OF LEGAL TOUCH BY A CHILD, HE WOULD BE ARRESTED AND LABELLED A PEDOPHILE AND MABY EVEN MURDRED IN JAIL.Did you people forget this factor or what?

domenic r. November 15, 2010, 5:46 PM

BUT YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE FOR BREASTFEEDING TO CAUSE SEXUAL AROUSAL ARE MISSING A MAJOR POINT HERE. IF MEN WERE TO BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED BY ACHIEVING AN ERECTION THE SAME WAY WOMEN ACHIEVE A CLITORAL ERECTION WHEN AROUSED BY SOME KIND OF LEGAL TOUCH BY A CHILD, HE WOULD BE ARRESTED AND LABELLED A PEDOPHILE AND MABY EVEN MURDERED IN JAIL.Did you people forget this factor or what?

domenic r. November 15, 2010, 9:39 PM

What kind of orgasm does a woman experience during breastfeeding? Is it a clitoral orgasm or the same kind of orgasm that a man experiences that feels like a small wet burst without touching the genitals? A clitoral orgasm can only be achieved when a woman is masturbating and touching her clitoris AND ISN’T THAT ILLEGAL FOR A WOMAN TO DO WHEN SHES BREASTFEEDING?


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