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Women Who Orgasm During Breastfeeding

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You don't have to feel ashamed -- it's perfectly natural. An expert tells us why.

woman breastfeeding

Dr. Wendy Walsh: When I was pregnant with my first child, I was hosting a show for TLC called "How'd They Do That?" And every day, my mind was asking the same question about pregnancy and breastfeeding. All my female coworkers became a petri dish for me as I probed their minds for information about what the heck was going on with my body.

I was the most nervous about successfully breastfeeding. Frankly, I had no idea how the two orbs with nerve endings directly connected to some pleasurable southern region could be converted into a cafeteria. One morning, as I sat in the makeup chair with my middle bursting with new life, I posed a seemingly crazy question: Could a woman have an orgasm while breastfeeding?

There was a pause. There was a sly smile from the makeup artist. The hairdresser hooted and hollered. Others just laughed their asses off. But I didn't take my eyes off the makeup artist.

Later, when we were alone, I asked her again. She smiled again. "It's more of a sensuous experience," she said, "not a sexual one. It feels warm and cuddly and pleasurable, but it's different from sex. If you had an orgasm, it wouldn't be on purpose."

Years later, I thought of this conversation. I was in one of my human sexuality classes in my psychology Ph.D. program, and we were learning that the nerve endings in our body can respond to physical stimulation even if our brain is not on board. In this case, we were talking about rape, and the confusing feelings that can happen to victims of rape when during this horrific crime they sometimes experience a spontaneous orgasm. What an awful thought.

When my first daughter was finally born (pried out after 42 weeks in the oven), breastfeeding was anything but pleasurable. I like to call the newborn phase of breastfeeding "the vampire weeks," as that tiny, violent, sucking machine increases milk supply. But after a few months, I realized my makeup artist was right. Totally pleasurable. But a far cry from sexual arousal.

As I continued to nurse, I read far and deep into the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and child. One thing I learned is that prolonged breastfeeding can help reduce your chances of getting breast cancer because it stops your periods and the monthly assault of estrogen on your breasts. That was enough for me, since my mother died of breast cancer. I continued on. I also learned that often babies suckle for comfort rather than from hunger, and that there are psychological benefits to this suckling. That sounded good too.

You saw the title of this article, so you know where I'm going here. I never, ever, mentally connected a breastfeeding experience with a sexual experience. The mental boundary was so great that I was convinced it was impossible. Then one night while I was sleeping, I had one of those fabulous dreams that, if a guy had had it, would have involved moisture. You've heard about them. I woke up from the dream to find that my tiny vampire had been doing some nocturnal suckling while I slept. Let me tell you, the experience totally freaked me out. And that was it. I had a co-sleeping bed beside me after that. I needed that bundle an arm's length away.

Later, in another human sexuality class, I asked my professor about this experience. She confirmed that it is possible and probably quite common, although people have feelings of shame about it. Pleasurable breastfeeding was probably one of nature's ways to make a survival behavior attractive. She also told me that many women quit breastfeeding for this reason. For some women, the feelings of an infant suckling can be so pleasurable that they feel it is somehow wrong. That made me feel sad too. Breastfeeding is not pedophilia. Nature brought mommies and babies together for one of the most physically pleasurable relationships on earth. Let them suckle -- and do enjoy it, ladies. It is such a short period in both of your lives. And if your body responds without your consent, relax. Just buy a co-sleeper bed.







next: Suddenly 15 Again, 40 Years after Woodstock
136 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous December 7, 2010, 11:59 AM

BREASTFEEDING MOMS CAN CERTAINLY CONTROL NOT BEING SEXUALLY AROUSED TO INTENSE ORGASM because all they need to do is put their milk in a bottle instead of finding an excuse to be a pedophile. Makes NO DIFFERENCE if the sexual arousal happens all on its own and that its involuntary, IF A YOUNG GIRL IS CAUSING AN ADULT TO BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED TO ORGASM, it is in fact pedophilia and breastfeeding moms should not have this special privilege as all men are hanged in the courst.
Like I said LAW+GOVERNMENT+WOMEN=HYPOCRITES!!!

Anonymous December 7, 2010, 12:00 PM

BREASTFEEDING MOMS CAN CERTAINLY CONTROL NOT BEING SEXUALLY AROUSED TO INTENSE ORGASM because all they need to do is put their milk in a bottle instead of finding an excuse to be a pedophile. Makes NO DIFFERENCE if the sexual arousal happens all on its own and that its involuntary, IF A YOUNG GIRL IS CAUSING AN ADULT TO BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED TO ORGASM, it is in fact pedophilia and breastfeeding moms should not have this special privilege as all men are hanged in the courst.
Like I said LAW+GOVERNMENT+WOMEN=HYPOCRITES!!!

Anonymous December 7, 2010, 12:19 PM

HAVING SUCH A LAW that actually allows women to become fully sexually aroused with egorged and swelled clits that is identicle to when a man has an erection except for the fact that you cannot see it through their clothing(that explains why these poedo moms get away with it) clearly makes it VERY EASY for women to purposely breastfeed or pretend they are breastfeeding an 8 or 12 year old girl JUST FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of experiecing extreme lust and orgasm with a child and THE LAW IS VERY CLEAR, it is ILLEGAL for a child to cause an adult to become sexually aroused with lust to orgasm but they allow women to be pedophiles during breastfeeding because THE LAW+GOVERNMENT+WOMEN=HYPOCRITES!!!!!

Anonymous December 7, 2010, 1:43 PM

YOU CLAIM THAT breastfeeding is a natural act and that such sexual arousal is involuntary and uncontrolable BUT YOU ARE COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT that it is A CHILD who is causing AN ADULT to become sexually aroused with lust and orgasm and the law clearly states this is pedophlia and illegal, but like I said law+government+women=hypocrites as they KILL OFF every man walking.

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TLR December 15, 2010, 1:45 PM

I thank the author for this article and for being so honest about her experience. I, myself about to give birth have gone back and forth on the issue of breastfeeding and whether I would do so simply because of the fear that something like this was possible. My own doctor while lecturing me on the musts of breastfeeding said to me that it was pleasurable which disturbed me. Everyone has there own choice to make on how they feed their child but this article along with other womens accounts of this sometimes happening has made my decision to not breast feed very clear. There are many options out there that will make sure your child gets the nutrition it needs besides direct breastfeeding thankfully.




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