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If It WASN'T a Hoax: Balloon Boy 911 Call

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How do I know the Balloon Boy saga was a hoax? The mom's "frantic" 911 call tells all. Here's a more accurate version...

Momlogic's Momstrosity: The moment I heard the 911 call from Falcon Heene's mom, I knew the whole "boy in a balloon" saga was a hoax. Although Mayumi Heene did sound sufficiently hysterical, I didn't buy it for one second. The giveaway was the way the mom of two described her husband's Mylar helium balloon:

Dispatcher: And so it was an experimental plane?
Mayumi Heene: It's a flying saucer.

Really, a "flying saucer"? Sure sounds like Mayumi is touting her husband's invention. Perhaps gearing up for some Heene Family Flying Saucerâ„¢ merchandise. She also never asks the 911 operator to take any action to save her son -- kind of important when your youngest child is allegedly soaring through the air at 10 knots. If the disappearance of her youngest son was a genuine emergency situation, I believe the call would've gone like this instead:

Dispatcher: And so it was an experimental plane?
Mayumi Heene: I don't know what the f**k it is, all I know is my goddamn husband made it and I'm going to kill him if anything happens to my baby. Send somebody up there NOW!!
Dispatcher: Your husband made it? Where is he?
Mayumi Heene: I don't give a sh*t!! All I want is my baby back. I told that storm chasing bastard it wasn't safe to have that friggin' Jiffy Pop thing tethered in the backyard with our kids around, but did he listen? Please, send somebody up there NOW!!
Dispatcher: So what happened exactly?
Mayumi Heene: My kid crawled into his stupid "hobby" and it flew away. Please, please, send somebody up there NOW!!
Dispatcher: Ma'am, can I speak to your husband?
Mayumi Heene: No. In fact, I want to go on "Wife Swap" again and this time really swap with someone so I don't have to spend another day with my media whore husband. I'm begging you, send somebody up there NOW!!

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5 comments so far | Post a comment now
alexis October 20, 2009, 2:37 PM

THAT … was hilarious. Your 911 call was far more believable. Thanks for the chuckle.

mary October 20, 2009, 2:55 PM

lol Good one

Anonymous October 20, 2009, 8:28 PM


Bud October 21, 2009, 6:23 AM

Haha! That’s great.

Anonymous October 23, 2009, 9:04 PM

Excellent. I didn’t know that balloon mom didn’t even ask someone to go up there. I can’t even imagine not asking really.

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