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I think I hate my kid's Halloween costume.
Vivian Manning-Schaffel: My first grader and I set out for what I thought would be a cool adventure -- a visit to one of those intense Halloween shops chock-full of rubber dismembered hands, lab coats with tags that read "Proctologist," plastic skeletons with eyeballs hanging off of them, and every kind of getup you could imagine.
He'd settled on being a ninja for weeks. He first spotted the costume among a bundle of Halloween catalogs cramping our mailbox in September. I kept clocking him to see if he'd change his mind like he did, $30 later, last year. Much to my chagrin, he didn't. So this shop visit reckoned it time for both of us to commit or get off the pot.
We hit the kid section, stumbled upon the ninja costume, and that was the end of it. I asked if he wouldn't rather be Luke Skywalker again, or maybe something devoid of a mock weapon, but it was no use. I gave in. And every mom knows that no good deed goes unpunished. If getting gouged for 40-something bucks wasn't enough (now that we're home), I think I really hate the goddamn thing.
Why? This glorified '70s zoot suit with pleather vest and requisite plastic ninja blades not only looks like something David Carradine wore to Studio 54, it rendered the kid a true method actor. After a brief, highly choreographed spell during which he assaulted the air in his room, he found great joy in practicing his new ninja moves on me and his dad. And in witnessing this rambunctious display, he succeeded in scaring the daylights out of his 2-year-old sister, and I got to clean up after that.
I have only myself to blame. I'm a colossal jackass for giving in to the lure of this semi-violent costume. But what does this say about me as a mother? Am I inadvertently advocating this brand of aggressive behavior by virtue of emptying my pockets for this outfit?
I'd tell anyone in my shoes to lighten the hell up. He's hardly the only boy in his class who's planning on being something of this ilk for Halloween -- not by a long shot. And isn't this a natural extension of the superhero phase?
What do you all think?
 | Vivian Manning-Schaffel has written for Babble, Parenting, The Advocate, The New York Post, Business Week and a variety of other publications and lives and works in the heart of breeder Brooklyn with her husband and two kids. She authors two pop culture blogs: The Mad Mom and A Hag Supreme, and is on the web at vivianmanningschaffel.com. |
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- 10 Comments
Mother, you are a good parent/sheep. You are taught to conform consume and obey from birth. You obey and consume just as you have been taught your entire life. You are only doing what you have been programmed to do by society (mass media, religion, family etc). Do not blame yourself for your lack of independent thought or self control. These social mechanisms that control you are so deeply instilled/embedded that you fail to recognize them, as your false consciousness consumes entirely.
I think it’s the first two commenters, who both sound like they might actually have that bow staff up their butts, who need to lighten up. It’s just a costume. He’s having fun, engaging in a little fantasy. Set some limits on what he can do in the costume for sure, but as long as he’s adhering to those limits, let him have fun.
oh please as if wearing a ninja costume is what will turn your child into a bad seed
fter a trip to Japan in April, my son chose to be a ninja this syear, too! I could have bought the costume in Japan, but instead, I got in on ebay for three dollars. Let them have their fun, I say. My children are sweet and non-aggressive, but always seem to pick something scary or violent for Halloween. Everyone needs an outlet…
You’re a fine mother. Normal all the way around it sounds like. Not to be harsh, but quit worrying about it and enjoy watching him play. Soon enough you’ll dream of these days. :)
Cheers.
Todd, proud but often frustrated father/grandfather
Don’t feel too bad, I also just recently took my son to the Halloween store to pick up his Harry Potter costume (previously decided); but as we were looking at the costumes my son saw a different costume out of the corner of his eye… a orange prison jumpsuit I would have rather him be a ninja, but it is only a costume and he is excited…
I laughed reading this article. We always had the same result anytime we would let our son watch Power Rangers. It drove me crazy so I just wouldn’t let him watch it and then he was a Power Ranger for halloween one year…you know the rest of the story. Its not like they are running around beating kids up on a daily basis or even while wearing the costume. They are just acting out the character, using their imaginations. Isn’t that what we want them to do?
And I always love reading comments from moms like “well-disciplined child”. They are so entertaining but at the same time its hard to believe that there are actually people like that in the world-that think they are so much better than every one else and their children are far superior to all others. Give me a break!
Well-disciplined, you crack me up! You can’t see that this is all tongue-in-cheek?
Lighten up and enjoy your life!
Seriously, some people must live sad, depressing lives!
KV: Have you contacted the Audubon Canyon Ranch? Im not sure theyre set up for catering, but its in a gorgeous spot. What about Olema Druids Hall? They have a big backyard. And then theres the park itself. Not sure what the policy of the parks service is on private functions, but you might check on it. Otherwise, consider the Marin Headlands. I went to a great wedding on Rodeo Beach; the reception was in one of those nearby rickety old wooden military buildings. Casual, fun, festive, and earthy. Not sure who youd call, but start with the Headlands Center for the Arts, and ask them who rents out those buildings. (Phew! My years as a luxury-hotel concierge continue to pay off) JV
Are you telling me that you tolerate your child physically attacking you just because he’s dressed as a ninja? You need to let him know that it is not okay, and punish him if he continues to defy good behavior.
You aren’t advocating violence by purchasing a ninja costume, you’re advocating it by allowing your son to think that it’s fun and acceptable.