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How Do You Get Rid of a Nanny?

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I forgot to ask one vital question on my nanny interview.

tall nanny

Lori Curley: She was so sweet on the phone, a slight Swedish accent.

"Ya," she replied.
"Ya, I have a driver's license."
"Ya, I drive manual transmission."
"Ya, I can drive your keeds on MondayWensdyFridy."

What I forgot to ask -- the reason I should have had at least one meeting -- was, "Emmy, can you fit in my car?"

Week One: I had no idea a woman with such a tiny voice could be so big. And no idea my car was so -- so inadequate. She was not overweight but tall, a good 6'5", and extremely easy going. With her head pressed up firmly against the roof of our Subaru Outback, she did not complain, but waved -- demurely, I might add. My kids in the back were not as well poised; they stared in disbelief. It was the same look they gave me after I buckled them into their first log flume in Ocean City. It said, "How can you do this to us?"

A better question, one my husband wanted answered, was "How can you do this to our hatchback?"

Week Two: Our car started to show the strain of Emmy's dedication and hard work. The leather seams began to part, the seat belt no longer recoiled, but hung like a post-prom streamer, and the whole car bounced at stop signs. We had to find a way to get rid of Emmy.

My son suggested we let loose some snakes, my daughter recommended we move. My husband recommended the direct approach, i.e., I call her and tell her she is no longer needed. But the truth was, we did need her, we just didn't need so much of her. Finally, we came to a decision. We took the most mature, rational path ... but we still don't know what it is.

Help us out -- how can we get rid of Emmy? What is the most peaceful, rational path?

next: Just a Guy Frustrated With E-Mail
15 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mamimi October 24, 2009, 7:27 AM

You know, this is really mean. There’s no mention of her doing your kids any harm, so why get rid of her just ‘cause she’s tall? Jeez. You sound like a very selfish person.

Anonymous October 24, 2009, 7:59 AM

I think the only rational approach is to tell her that her services as a nanny are no longer needed as now Grandma/Aunt/Friend has been able to change her schedule and can now look after the kids.

You need to make sure not to mention the fact that she hurt the car in any way, as she could take that the wrong way and sue for being fired for her weight. Even though she could not prove it, and would never win in the lawsuit, you would still have the hassle of defending yourself.

Lacey October 24, 2009, 8:26 AM

You want to let her go because she’s tall?!?! Wow! I would hate to be your nanny. How about next time, in your ad, specify that you only want someone between 5’3-5’9. Let see how many calls you get.

Lacey October 24, 2009, 8:28 AM

Too add: Why don’t you suggest she drive her own car?

m October 24, 2009, 10:04 AM

why not get a bigger car? If you can afford a nanny, why can’t you trade up your car?

angerelli October 24, 2009, 10:17 AM

It’s clear that the real problem is not her size but more about the damage and safety issues related to her size. Using a vehicle that is better suited to her would likely be the best solution.
As a parent I know how difficult it is to find and keep someone valuable. Also, having been a nanny, I know that I myself, did some things unintentionally that the families viewed as problems, and did some damage to their property as well. But, it may be worth keeping her if the problems associated with employing her outweigh your confidence in her as a caregiver for your children.
If the only option you see is to fire her, then I suggest you point out the damage she has done without attributing it to her size.

Anonymous October 24, 2009, 1:31 PM

You’re prejudiced against tall people.

Viv October 24, 2009, 3:01 PM

OMG - this is awful!

I would hate to work for someone like you.

Marie October 24, 2009, 9:24 PM

You are a horrible person. I hope that you nanny read this and take legal action.

Phantom October 24, 2009, 10:10 PM

someone commented:
why not get a bigger car? If you can afford a nanny, why can’t you trade up your car?
- m

My thoughts on this post?? How RIDICULOUS can you get?????????? having a nanny is supposed to make your life easier and less complicated. if it is not working out, WHATEVER the reason, it is not not working out. SO BE IT!!! I should not have to buy a new car to accommodate a nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous October 25, 2009, 8:28 AM

I would suggest that you see if she would use her own vehicle as a means of transportation and compensate her for gas and mileage. Her height/size is obviously something that she considered when purchasing her own car. And don’t let the other posters get you down- you are not being discriminatory against height but looking out for another very expensive investment that you made in your vehicle.

oy! October 25, 2009, 1:06 PM

Well, as the wife of a tall man, I am inclined to not believe that she is tearing up your car. My tall husband used to drive a HONDA CRX…which is a super tiny car. My brother is tall and heavy and drives a compact car. I think that you are being discriminative against her for whatever may even be subconciously. You should take your car to the shop as there is obviously something wrong causing it to bouce at stopsigns. Unless she is extremely extremely like a 1/2 ton overweight (her height is not that extreme!) I seriously doubt SHE has anything to do with its bouncing.

PS Teach your kids some manners too. It is really not polite to stare at people b/c of their physical attributes.

rad October 25, 2009, 6:17 PM

Affording a nanny doesn’t mean your wealthy and can afford another car. Duh… Single moms often have no other choice. Less money to take home but no other options. Oh and I’d just tell her the truth.

Tammy October 26, 2009, 8:53 AM

You hired a person to look after you kids with meeting with them first? You concluded from a PHONE INTERVIEW that this person would be left alone to care for your kids? Shame on you for that and shame on you for discriminating against this poor woman.

Nannydeb October 26, 2009, 5:26 PM

I am going to offer you the benefit of the doubt, and ask if this is actually satire disguised as an actual problem? If that is not the case…

Sounds like the issue here is twofold:

1) You hired someone to care for your kids sight unseen. That’s just careless and foolish. Try a face to face interview next time, and ask better questions as well.

2) You own a car that isn’t living up to manufacturer’s claims. No car should be falling apart after 2 weeks of use by a taller than average person. Check your state lemon laws and see if you can manage to finagle a decent car out of the dealer who sold you the junk pile.

And there’s a third issue. If your kids are so stressed at the idea of a person who is beyond the “norm” in size, maybe they need to get out more. Explore your city. Venture beyond your “safe zone”. Visit ethnic restaurants, and meet the owners/waitstaff, so that your poor kids can see that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and styles.

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