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Just a Guy and Bleeding

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Women and their monthly flow ... I just don't get it.

Man holding woman's hand in hospital room

Bruce Sallan: I'm going to reveal yet another dirty little male secret to add to my takes on "looking" and "farting." We men don't understand, feel comfortable around, or really "get" women and their bleeding. Of course we know what it's about, but women talk to us about it like we would talk about having a runny nose.

My wife just went through an emergency that related to this part of female plumbing. We ended up in the ER and I ended up doing the laundry. I held her hand; I listened; I was worried; and the two doctors even showed me pictures and tried to explain.

All I cared about was that she was going to be okay. Thankfully, they reassured me she would be fine after a procedure that sounded like unstopping a plugged-up toilet with a mile-long Roto-Rooter whirling suction device. I nodded numbly, feigning knowledge, and not feigning concern and relief.

I wonder if there's an equivalent male bodily function that women struggle with understanding? Of course certain male sexual peccadilloes qualify as completely disgusting to women, but that isn't understanding, that's just disdain. Does our dislike of shaving qualify? How about burping?

Given that most of us actually do know how to change a diaper, our disgust over the smell of baby wipes doesn't really surprise our women, but instead provides a good laugh for them. Women can see our plumbing, at least the most obvious parts of it, so that's no surprise, though yet another potential laugh. So I guess I just don't know. After all, I'm just a guy.


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13 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley October 10, 2009, 6:04 AM

My husband can’t understand how we can just bleed like that. It doesn’t make sense to him. He also wonders why everything doesn’t just fall out. So clueless. I think it’s hilarious!!

Bruce Sallan October 10, 2009, 8:06 AM

Ashley;

Frankly, I struggle with the same stuff! It’s also funny how many men just don’t understand women’s sexual “parts,” and how to “use” them or, more specifically, how to satisfy their partners! The stereotype of a man doing his business and then rolling over is far from over even with another issue of Cosmo giving sex tips to women as to how to educate your man. In fact, I will write a blog about that. Thanks Ashley for the inspiration!

sarah October 10, 2009, 10:07 AM

o my ur poor wife!! that sounds terrible! o and by the way men got off sooo easy we hav to give birth have periods and just deal w men all the time lol u dont wanna b in our shoes!

Anonymous October 10, 2009, 10:34 AM

i dont know about an equivalent male bodily function but i know i struggle with understanding my husband’s logic, thought process and reasoning. It seems no matter how rediculous or controversial his action/words may prove to be he always tries to find ways to justify himself.. cracks me up sometimes how even when he knows he erred, he still tries to justify it.. and obviously sometimes it is not as funny.

Bruce Sallan October 10, 2009, 10:44 AM

Sarah - Don’t worry about my wife. She and I “got it down.” I was referring to other men, my youth, and a generality that I think is sadly, oh so true. All you need to do is read women’s magazines or participate in any women’s discussion on these issues to know men, in general, aren’t always TCB, to quote Elvis and Aretha (Taking Care of Business).

Mari October 10, 2009, 10:55 AM

What’s with the hand in your pants (Al Bundy style)? I don’t get that. Are checking to see if it’s still there?

Bruce Sallan October 10, 2009, 12:44 PM

Mari - I assume you’re talking about “the hand in your pants” regarding men, in general vs. me? On that assumption, I will just say that we are indeed checking to make sure it is indeed still there. What was that horrible tabloid story - the woman who cut it off? Thankfully, I don’t remember, but that certainly did scare “us” to no end. Yup, we’re just cavemen. Try and remember that (and read the “Just A Guy Farting” blog if you need any more proof…lol).

Megan October 10, 2009, 3:18 PM

Ashley: Are you freaking kidding me? Tell your husband to take an anatomy class or better yet go to the library and get a freakin’ book.

My question is why do men think we have control over or an option about menstruation? Do you tell your heart to pump? Do you tell your stomach to digest food? No you don’t. It just happens. Just like women and “their bleeding” it just happens, it’s called nature. And if it weren’t for our bleeding there wouldn’t be men in this world to complain about it. HA HA!!

Gail October 10, 2009, 3:52 PM

Go Megan!!!!

Wendi October 10, 2009, 4:39 PM

My hubby jokes all the time about my period and says that most things that bleed for that many days die and does not understand how we do it. He has total respect for me and that time of the month though.

Gail October 11, 2009, 12:25 PM

I can’t believe men are still in the dark ages about women. Really. But, Bruce, you certainly bring it to us in plain, stark, no-holds-barred blogs. Are you this way at home, with your wife and kids? At least they probably always know where you stand whereas with my husband, he hides away, drinks too much, and hardly communicates. C’est la vie.

www.momlogic.com May 17, 2011, 3:44 PM

Just_a_guy_and_bleeding_bruca_sallan.. Great! :)

www.momlogic.com June 5, 2011, 3:25 AM

Just_a_guy_and_bleeding_bruca_sallan.. Amazing :)


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