Just a Guy Farting: Part Two

Just a Guy Farting: Part Two

Saturday, October 17, 2009

filed under: bruce sallan

I hope you all read my first blog on farting and especially watched the attached video. We've attached it again, along with another favorite of the "genre." What is it about farting that is so funny?

Bruce Sallan: My wife still does NOT think it's funny, though occasionally she will snicker in spite of herself. She's seen the video of the couple in bed -- and the other morning, I swear, we ended up mimicking them almost word for word, action for action!

It was that just-before-dawn time when you're only half awake. Our three dogs were lying on their beds, in our room, peacefully sleeping. One of them, our oldest, actually snores slightly. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, while in my sleep, I farted. Woke both my wife and myself up.

Just like the video clip, our dogs (while not on our bed) howled in protest, followed by my wife exclaiming "You're disgusting," to which I immediately defended myself with "I couldn't help it."

Then, unfortunately, another was brewing, for which, also like the video, I declared "incoming," at which point my wife, "in spite of herself," began laughing. That caused me to laugh, with the truly unanticipated result being a series of what we call "machine gun" farts that followed (from me, of course). She started hitting me mockingly, and I started tickling her, and our laughter resonated throughout the house -- so loudly that we even woke up our usually noise-proof-when-they're-asleep boys.

Yet again, I demonstrated what a caveman I am, given that I'm just a guy.

Bruce Sallan gave up his showbiz career a decade ago to raise his two boys, full-time, now 13 and 16. His internationally syndicated column, A DAD'S POINT-OF-VIEW, is his take on the challenges of parenthood and male/female issues, both as a single dad and now, newly remarried, in a blended family. To contact Bruce, visit his new website brucesallan.com.

filed under: bruce sallan

| Bookmark | Permalink |

Email | Comments (11)

11 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

As you probably know by now, I’m one of your faithful followers, including reading your “A Dad’s Point-of-View” columns on your site. I sooooo needed this laugh. Thanks.

- Denise

Posted 10/17/09 08:41 AM

hahahaha yeaaa dad!!! it was sooo loud it woke me up AT 5 IN THE MORNING!!!! lol :p

- Aaron

Posted 10/17/09 11:03 AM

I hate when men stink up the bathroom and then won’t use the air freshener.

- Anonymous

Posted 10/17/09 01:29 PM

HAHAHA you’re hysterical.

- Meg

Posted 10/17/09 01:56 PM

U r so disgusting, such a GUY, and sooooo funny!

- robin

Posted 10/17/09 02:59 PM

Love it!! What a laugh!

- Andie

Posted 10/17/09 06:19 PM

I had a c-section with my first daughter, had no idea about the pooting side effect. I woke myself up several times, freaked myself out thinking What the hell was that? until a nurse asked if I was passing gas yet. Um, yeah. The release during sleep is one thing. Doing so while awake is another. I haven’t found such bodily functions amusing since I was 5.

- ame i.

Posted 10/18/09 07:15 PM

LOL, thank god I am single and don’t have to deal with that anymore, or dutch ovens!

- Lisa

Posted 10/19/09 07:04 PM

I’d have hit you with the hot water bottle! My mum did that to my dad for snoring – only the darn thing burst. I’d take that chance – and then have a good laugh seeing you wet. Who says vengeance isn’t sweet? Your poor wife? Has she thought about making you sleep in a shed at the top of the garden? lol:-) Anita (England)

- Anonymous

Posted 10/20/09 05:18 AM

I can’t believe how hard I laughed at this one. You do cover the range of topics a man would be interested in. I hope you’ll devote a blog to belching next. LOL

- Jeff

Posted 10/21/09 11:53 AM

Actually Jeff, I believe my topics are of more interest to women than men…after all, men don’t like to talk about the personal stuff much while women can obsess about - to flout a sexist stereotype (of course there are exceptions to EVEYR stereotype). As a single parent for so long, I think I really understand parenting from both gender’s viewpoints. Check out my regular column sometime on my web-site as it’s much longer and different in nature than my blogs - if only by length (my columns are usually about 3 times as long). Thanks for the post and keep on reading my blogs - it’s much appreciated!

- Bruce Sallan

Posted 10/21/09 12:17 PM