The classic second marriage dilemma is the parent of the kids having to choose between his offspring and his spouse. Recently, I faced that problem times 10.
Bruce Sallan: First, my wife had a medical emergency that involved paramedics, 911, and a morning rush to the hospital, followed by surgery, recovery, and coming home -- all in the same day. Between it all, I had to deal with my boys getting to and from school and try and do a little necessary work. While my wife was obviously going through the worst of it, I was completely worn out trying to balance everyone's needs.
Then, later in the same week, my older son and I had a fight over the stupid caca that sometimes happens between parent and child, and I ended up finally sitting down with him, working things out between us, and then attending a school event (a concert) of his, in which he was performing. It involved plenty of shuttling -- him, friends, and equipment back and forth.
However, my wife (still recovering from her recent surgery) was waiting at home for me for dinner. The school event took longer than expected, which I had forewarned her it might, and I came home to a mad wife.
This is a classic situation of being caught between the woman I love and the child I've raised his whole life. Dr. Laura says the marriage always comes first (I think she says that). I say it depends on the circumstances -- and I'd like to be cut some slack. It wasn't an easy week for me either. But, what do I know? I'm just a guy.
|Bruce Sallan gave up his showbiz career a decade ago to raise his two boys, full-time, now 13 and 16. His internationally syndicated column, A DAD'S POINT-OF-VIEW, is his take on the challenges of parenthood and male/female issues, both as a single dad and now, newly remarried, in a blended family. Join Bruce's A DAD'S POINT-OF-VIEW fan page at Facebook. To contact Bruce, visit his new website brucesallan.com.|