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Just a Guy Wanting His Sons to be Men

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Does anyone remember when men were men -- when boys looked up to their fathers and other men and wanted to be just like them in their "manly ways"?

father with his two sons

Bruce Sallan: Now, with elementary education completely hijacked by women, there's been a systematic change in how boys are educated and raised. When is the last time you saw a male teacher in elementary school? Do you really think the self-esteem movement has done anything but diminish any real accomplishments?

Why are boys dropping out of high school at a much greater rate than girls? Why is the percentage of young men entering college now substantially less than young women? Why are boys in elementary school made to read books about subjects that are clearly of a female nature or subject vs. the books they would organically choose to read?

I heard a very wise woman, Alison Armstrong, on a talk show explain that men weren't being feminized as much as they were being emasculated. And, in other ways, women were being taught not to use their feminine skills and assets, but to be more masculine. Both sexes lose with this approach.

Our differences should be celebrated, not changed. Shame, for both genders, was an established societal tool that helped determine behavior, as the risk of being shamed was deemed undesirable. Shame no longer exists. I think both sexes are weakened by these changes. I worry for my boys. But, what do I know? After all, I'm just a guy.

next: Are Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman Over?
50 comments so far | Post a comment now
Bruce Sallan November 4, 2009, 7:22 AM

To DD and Anita and everyone else who has posted comments with passion and thought, and in David’s case even some stats, I say let’s put this debate to rest. I call a truce with DD. He has every right to say what he wants, though I stand my by assertion that it’s easier when you can be anonymous. However, he didn’t choose, as I did, to write a public blog and put my name out there. I call a “draw” and only suggest that the next debate/disagreement be less personal and stay “on point.” And, we can also agree to disagree as my wife and I often do and I certainly do with most friends that have differing political views. Sometimes we can’t convince the other side and it’s pointless. However, others that “hear” (or read in this case) the debate might pick up something and learn. DD and I aren’t changing our minds, but who knows about other readers. Love you all - now how about some more comments on my current blog!?

Anonymous and Proud of it! November 4, 2009, 10:07 AM

I don’t see what was personal about this debate. Bruce made some points (not very convincingly), DD disagreed with his methods. It didn’t get personal until Bruce started asking people on his website(there is a link on his blog page) to defend him and make comments in his favor. I didn’t realize this was a contest. Also, what’s the difference if you sign your name Anita from England, Sara, or Deaddrift? I don’t know who any of you are, so nobody’s really exposing themselves.

Marty November 5, 2009, 3:40 PM

DD must have gone to college — only someone who went to college needs “data” in order to accept the obvious: there are substantially less male teachers and administrators than in the past. The principal of every school I went to was male and the opposite was true for my kids. Even a cursory check of NEA stats will bear this out. Female leadership of schools has emasculated our male children…

MerrieWay November 9, 2009, 12:07 AM

Hey, Bruce what about dead-beat Dad’s? How about violent video games? Rampant drug use, poor diets, lack of excercise, no respect?
Don’t blame female teachers or a book read in school. This pandemic of lack of respect starts at home, is influenced by the media. A real man is no different than a real woman, authenticy is about being comfortable in your own skin, and a host of other issues, too lengthy for this post. You’ve stimulated me to write further on this subject…on my own MerrieWay blog. Thank you…

Alexis November 23, 2009, 10:57 PM

Where the heck are these boys going to school? In my Pacific Northwest Elementary schools, we read things like “My Side of the Mountain” and if that’s not manly and outdoorsie, I don’t know what is. Even the girls loved it because it contained a certain sentimentality which made all of us young girls want to be adventurous and self-reliant.

Jacquelyn Porter January 27, 2010, 9:37 AM

It’s always the drama!! Give them bread and circuses. Isn’t that what the Romans did to help control the people so they could tax them to death without them noticing?

I don’t think grade school has been hijacked by women. I think most men don’t want to be bothered with the ‘little ones’ stuck inside most of the day doing state required compulsory education that isn’t that stimulating for an adult and older child. Now, if we could let our children play outside all day running around playing games getting muddy in the nearby creek and digging for crawdads or fishing, then I think men might take an interest in teaching grade school.
Also, because of the work load each household has these days, parents don’t get as involved in the schools as they used to. Having the dads take more of an interest by bringing their male presence. I could be wrong but I don’t see enough of it. I worked for a school for, so called, behaviour problem middle and high school students. We would schedule open houses to have parents come in and see what their children were doing. No one came. That was a real eye opener for me.
Personally, I would love to see local communities take over their schools. Run them the way the people of the community want to see the children educated. Besides, we are paying for it. So much talent is going undiscovered with our young ones. Especially with music and art being mimimized…. See More
Well, I got kind of longwinded here. Maybe even off the subject. That’s what happens when ya just start writing.

deaddrift February 10, 2010, 10:33 PM

Hey Bruce, I just now was ego-surfing, and I happened to see your Facebook post asking your Facebook friends to come to your defense here about what the mean anonymous meanie said to you, and I have a few thoughts. First: HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, I called you a p***y, who was talking utter s**t, pretty much; and how did you respond? You ignored my challenge and cried for help. This leads to second: I reiterate that instead of worrying about your fantasies of the modern de-masculinization of public education, you should maybe cast a more critical eye on your own upbringing in that regard. Third: DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE any evidence that the changes in education are due to it being “hijacked by women?” Time to man up, dude. Apologize or back your claims up, fer crissake, I’m starting to feel embarrassed for you. Signed,

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Ruleta January 1, 2011, 6:18 AM

I relish just taking a break from studying and stopping by your blog. I just wish you posted more frequently. Thanks

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