twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Moms Dying for Beauty: What Is Going on Here???

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Are you willing to risk your life for that breast lift?

woman lying in an operating room

Dr. Wendy Walsh: Two years after the tragic death of singer Kayne West's mother, who died after a breast reduction and tummy tuck, another mother has died after undergoing plastic surgery. Rohie Orukaton, 37, a mother of three, died this week from complications after a liposuction procedure in Florida.

What's going on with women? Have we become such a vain and looks-oriented culture that we are willing to risk our lives for beauty?

In a word, yes. And mothers, in particular, are vulnerable to this pressure. Here's why:

The idea of the MILF and the "Hot Mom" archetypes grew as our media-driven culture attempted to place high value on the noble, unpaid profession of motherhood. Prior to feminism, motherhood had its own power and its own drawbacks, but ever since feminism reared its beautiful head, women seem to mostly be valued for sexuality and success. And, if we can achieve both, à la Tyra Banks, Britney Spears, and Beyoncé, all the merrier. Somehow, with the galloping in of feminine rights, we lost a few. Like the right to look dowdy and still feel proud of what we do.

Yes, ladies, we threw the baby out with the bath water. My farm-wife grandmother had seven babies and probably miscarried a few up in a back bedroom on our Walsh family farm. She had a glorious belly that bounced off her thighs when she shuffled around her kitchen. But that woman never bought a loaf of bread in her life. Her kitchen was a virtual factory of baking, roasting, and preserving. As a young girl who spent my summers under her tutelage, I marveled at the complete expression of feminine energy. When Grammy wasn't stoking a wood stove or kneading dough, she was working the foot pump on her manual Sears sewing machine, making fabulous quilts out of last year's curtains.

My grandmother's work was so valued and so powerful, she was literally the life force of the household. And, except for Sunday Mass, I never saw the woman wear a girdle. The idea that mothers today are lining up to have their precious baby-growing bellies hacked away would have made Grammy giggle a big belly giggle. And I mean BIG. Today, women who like to nurture, keep house, and cook suddenly look -- well, rather old-fashioned. They are also a dying breed because of capitalism. It is the fortunate woman today who finds a rich husband, inherits a fortune, or cashes out early enough to allow her to have such "hobbies." And, I'll bet my best pair of Spanx that if today's man underwrites motherhood, he also purchases a gym membership for his lovely lady too.

This is a new capitalist society with a doubled workforce, and baby, if you don't look hot or make money, you've got no place in it. Last time I checked, motherhood still doesn't pay a dime. So, what option is left for mothers who unknowingly buy in to the hype? To look hot or make money. That's our choice.

Sad. Sad. Sad, all the way around. My heart goes out to children who have lost their mothers to the unfortunate "side effects" of cosmetic surgery. But equally dangerous is the idea that two hours at the gym rather than reading to children is more valuable to a woman. I don't know the answer, except that we women must comment on what we see. And that's how I see it.



next: Stepdad Walks In On Sex, Shoots Daughter's Boyfriend
26 comments so far | Post a comment now
jennifer  October 16, 2009, 6:59 AM

I think your article is interesting and raises some good points. However, there are many generalizations which leave me unsettled. Going to the gym and reading to your kids are not mutually exclusive activities. Also, I know many woman who chose to go for the breast lift or tummy tuck after having kids- not to fit into some b.s. cultural standard but to feel better about themselves. And if that is their choice- and they are not having plastic surgery to attempt to repair some emotional wound but to really feel more comfortable- then I don’t think we should judge that choice. Let’s be honest- most women want to feel attractive- this phenomena is not unique to our culture or time- and woman who attempt to improve their health or appearance by working out or getting elective surgery should not be pigeon-holed as vain and selfish. angstmom.com

TUG TALK October 16, 2009, 8:15 AM

Jennifer-
Even as a man I understand some of the need to for a woman to feel beautiful. However, the most beautiful women I have experienced work at being beautiful more than feeling beautiful. Surgery may help the feeling but what are women doing about the being part? I think the grandmother in this story had her own value and promoted that. That is what being beautiful is about. tugcoaching.blogspot.com

TUG

Deana October 20, 2009, 6:52 AM

I believe Tyra’s a natural beauty isn’t she?

Des October 26, 2009, 12:30 PM

Kanye wests mom died from a lethal mix of over dosing on pain meds and having prior health problems (which is why she shouldnt have gotten the surgury to begin with) So she died from her own selfish nature. But i dont think moms who get plastic surgury are doing it because they want to look like the medias idea of perfection. After having a baby that weighed almost 10 pounds, i have a lot of excess skin. I would like to have a tummy tuck someday, and not because the media pressured me to. Because the skin is so over stretched and painful to touch. Plus, its hard to go from a perfect tummy to lots of extra skin hanging….clothes never fit right and it makes me very uncomfortable.

D November 8, 2009, 3:14 AM

Surgery isn’t always the answer!! Go onto www.lookreborne.com . You will never find a better, simplier, more effective, affordable product. This was developed for men and women but of course there was a woman at the helm!

www.lookreborne.com

CHIZO August 8, 2010, 1:11 AM

@ jennifer i think u just hit the nail on the head.Thanks

Fashion Merchandising October 12, 2010, 4:02 PM

As a member of your fashion marketplace, I salute you.

Merchant Services December 24, 2010, 12:29 AM

I like this blog, sharp style! is it a template?

Basswood Blinds January 19, 2011, 4:24 PM

Just wanted to say, I had a good time going through this website and the opinions from everyone who participates. I find it to be very intriguing and well thought out. Thanks again for sharing this up.

helloh January 23, 2011, 10:41 PM

I score real enjoyed measuring your diary posts.I am impressed.I was hunting for deciding substance on this soul. Salutary spot Impart for intercourse !!!
Bipolar Symptoms

long sleeve dresses February 17, 2011, 10:40 AM

Let me not be understood as saying that there are no bad laws, nor that grievances may not arise for the redress of which no legal provisions have been made. I mean to say no such thing. But I do mean to say that although bad laws, if they exist, should be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed.

Stevie Simonelli March 12, 2011, 10:01 AM

Can I reference this article from my site? I find myself coming to your web site more and more often to the point where my stops here are practically daily now! Thanks once more for putting this online. I unquestionably liked every bit of it.

Damon Akiyama March 16, 2011, 12:26 PM

This domain seems to get a good ammount of visitors. How do you get traffic to it? It gives a nice individual spin on things. I guess having something authentic or substantial to say is the most important factor.

Air Jordan Shoes March 24, 2011, 9:17 AM

Would partiality to pore over further too…Thanks seeking prodigious notify!Not prolonged ago, I did not hand over a a heap of concern to giving comments on milieu announce articles and deceive positioned comments orderly less.

Antti Niemi Jerseys March 25, 2011, 9:23 AM

Hi, Inordinate postal service, hold responsible you, i like your concept also!

Wholesale Gucci Handbags March 26, 2011, 6:46 AM

Thanks be given to you exchange for creating valuable information round the issue.

Darin Lindemuth March 29, 2011, 4:31 PM

Hello. splendid job. I did not imagine this. This is a remarkable story. Thanks!

Arthur O. Coble March 29, 2011, 7:55 PM

Interesting

Earl A. Hahn March 31, 2011, 3:35 AM

Many thanks

Air Jordan 9 March 31, 2011, 11:31 AM

I fancy reading this article. I miss to learn more on this topic.. Hold responsible you over the extent of journalism leading article this smashing info.. Anyway, I am gonna subscribe to your rss and I wish you erase gigantic articles again soon. Indeed useful info.


Back to top >>
advertisement