Are you willing to risk your life for that breast lift?
Dr. Wendy Walsh: Two years after the tragic death of singer Kayne West's mother, who died after a breast reduction and tummy tuck, another mother has died after undergoing plastic surgery. Rohie Orukaton, 37, a mother of three, died this week from complications after a liposuction procedure in Florida.
What's going on with women? Have we become such a vain and looks-oriented culture that we are willing to risk our lives for beauty?
In a word, yes. And mothers, in particular, are vulnerable to this pressure. Here's why:
The idea of the MILF and the "Hot Mom" archetypes grew as our media-driven culture attempted to place high value on the noble, unpaid profession of motherhood. Prior to feminism, motherhood had its own power and its own drawbacks, but ever since feminism reared its beautiful head, women seem to mostly be valued for sexuality and success. And, if we can achieve both, à la Tyra Banks, Britney Spears, and Beyoncé, all the merrier. Somehow, with the galloping in of feminine rights, we lost a few. Like the right to look dowdy and still feel proud of what we do.
Yes, ladies, we threw the baby out with the bath water. My farm-wife grandmother had seven babies and probably miscarried a few up in a back bedroom on our Walsh family farm. She had a glorious belly that bounced off her thighs when she shuffled around her kitchen. But that woman never bought a loaf of bread in her life. Her kitchen was a virtual factory of baking, roasting, and preserving. As a young girl who spent my summers under her tutelage, I marveled at the complete expression of feminine energy. When Grammy wasn't stoking a wood stove or kneading dough, she was working the foot pump on her manual Sears sewing machine, making fabulous quilts out of last year's curtains.
My grandmother's work was so valued and so powerful, she was literally the life force of the household. And, except for Sunday Mass, I never saw the woman wear a girdle. The idea that mothers today are lining up to have their precious baby-growing bellies hacked away would have made Grammy giggle a big belly giggle. And I mean BIG. Today, women who like to nurture, keep house, and cook suddenly look -- well, rather old-fashioned. They are also a dying breed because of capitalism. It is the fortunate woman today who finds a rich husband, inherits a fortune, or cashes out early enough to allow her to have such "hobbies." And, I'll bet my best pair of Spanx that if today's man underwrites motherhood, he also purchases a gym membership for his lovely lady too.
This is a new capitalist society with a doubled workforce, and baby, if you don't look hot or make money, you've got no place in it. Last time I checked, motherhood still doesn't pay a dime. So, what option is left for mothers who unknowingly buy in to the hype? To look hot or make money. That's our choice.
Sad. Sad. Sad, all the way around. My heart goes out to children who have lost their mothers to the unfortunate "side effects" of cosmetic surgery. But equally dangerous is the idea that two hours at the gym rather than reading to children is more valuable to a woman. I don't know the answer, except that we women must comment on what we see. And that's how I see it.
|Dr. Wendy Walsh holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and her area of interest is Attachment Theory, a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. As a psychological assistant registered with the California Board of Psychology, Dr. Walsh has treated individuals, couples and families for a variety of mental health concerns including personality disorders, anger management, eating and substance disorders, and depression. Connect with Dr. Walsh on Facebook.|