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No Thanks, I Don't Do Playdates

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Does my lack of enthusiasm to hang out with some stranger and her kid make me a mom snob?

bored looking woman

Hailey's Mommy: Now that my daughter is getting older and transitioning from the infant stage into toddlerhood, the invitations for playdates are starting to make their way toward us. And while I am a big advocate of healthy socialization and chose daycare as her primary care because of the exposure to other children she benefits from, I feel as though the time that we would spend on playdates would cut into quality "us time." Why would I want to dedicate our time continuing the play they already get while in daycare?

The thought of going to hang out with someone I barely know while our kids play just doesn't excite me. Quick conversation during pick-ups and drop-offs is fine, but a whole hour or so? What if I'm stuck with "Crafty Cathy"? I'm sure relevant interest topics would run dry and I'd spend the whole time watching the clock. She'd probably discuss brownie recipes and homemade costumes while I'm talking about take-out and wine. Or better yet, what if she ends up being the super-overprotective type? My kid's a bit tough and loves to play rough sometimes. What if all she did was hover over the kids playing? I'd spend the whole time making sure that my toddler doesn't do something that may piss off this mom and send us packing.

And I'm definitely sure I'd say something that would heighten the situation, which may then impair our ability to cross paths at daycare in a nice and friendly manner. Don't get me wrong, I love to hang out with friends and have our kids play together. But a "playdate" with a relative stranger and her kid? Not for me. I'd rather wait in line at the grocery store or hang out at the groomers while our dogs get a haircut. No offense.

How do you feel about playdates?

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9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jenny October 21, 2009, 5:00 AM

Play dates with friends and their kids are fun, with strangers I tend to feel the same way you do. However, you could be missing out on someone that could be your best friend someday. When you are picking up your child at daycare why don’t you attempt some small talk about things you like with the moms, seeing how they respond could give you an idea of the moms you would like to know better.

J. October 21, 2009, 8:16 AM

I don’t need to make friends, so we don’t do play dates. We have kids over to play, but not their parents. Same with my kids’ friends. My kids go over to their houses, but I certainly don’t stay. We never had play dates when I was young - you just played with kids so that’s what we do now.

3carnations October 21, 2009, 11:30 AM

I love playdates! (though I don’t like the word)

It saddens me a bit that my son has reached the age where parents usually don’t stick around at the playdates. I’ve made some good friends with his friends’ parents, and I always enjoyed the chance to watch him play. Sure, they played together at daycare, but I don’t get to watch there.

Anonymous October 21, 2009, 1:36 PM


christina October 21, 2009, 8:33 PM

Um, your friends used to be strangers too. I think this is a fairly closed-minded and rather silly attitude.

Anonymous October 21, 2009, 9:28 PM

im so glad im not the omly one who feels this way.

Anna October 23, 2009, 11:48 PM

Amen! My thoughts exactly. Playdates might be better for stay-at-home moms who need more social time themselves.

jennifer October 27, 2009, 7:56 AM

um..playdates are suppose to be for the kids…a common example of todays selfish moms….your uncomfortable so you dont let your kids be kids..grow up get over it…

Anonymous November 5, 2009, 1:15 PM

I dont like play dates either. I think they are for moms who like the whole baby sitting scene

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