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Dear Hailey, Get Real about Jon Gosselin

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One single mom reaches out to Hailey Glassman with some much-needed advice on dating a certain high-profile dad of eight.

Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman

Single Mom Seeking: Dear Hailey,

We recently read about your relationship challenges with Jon Gosselin, and we're writing to you because we care. You say that he's often angry -- and that "he has 'mantrums.'"

"He's like Jekyll and Hyde," you add. "But I still love him."

Oh, Hailey.

We're going to be very honest with you: you're the arm candy rebound girl here. We're guessing that this is probably your first experience dating a man with kids ... not to mention a publicity-seeking guy with all kinds of baggage -- the least of which is his eight little kids!

We understand that you care deeply for Jon and want to be there not only for the vacation frolics, but for the tough times -- and this is why we're going to offer some advice.

Jon is still married.

Yes, he resides separately from Kate. And, he takes every opportunity to publicize that his life with Kate is over.

But being "separated" is confusing and often misunderstood. Is Jon truly legally separated? The legal wranglings about custody, parenting time schedules, finances, and future media projects seem highly contentious and far from resolved. The stress associated with a high-stakes divorce case is simply over the top.

In short, Jon is in limbo right now. He's emotionally numb and incredibly confused.

All this adds up to one inescapable conclusion: Jon is not really emotionally available to you. And he's using you to vent his feelings. We're not surprised that Jon likely tells you that you're his world, and the next minute he's "mantruming." Jon's behavior around his unresolved issues are quite typical of men going through a divorce.

You deserve to be loved -- for real. Although stepping away might be the hardest thing you'll ever do, we encourage you to make the healthy emotional choice for you.

You deserve love, comfort, and support. You've demonstrated that you're capable of giving ... how about finding a man who is available and capable of giving to YOU?



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50 comments so far | Post a comment now
MarMar October 30, 2009, 6:47 AM

Well said, SMS. I really feel for Hailey right now.

Arani October 30, 2009, 7:35 AM

SMS, you hit the nail on the head!

J October 30, 2009, 3:47 PM

I don’t feel for her at all! She knew exactly what she was getting herself into! She just wanted to be in the spot light for years she knew what she was doing from the get go! She chose to selfishly get involved with a married man with children without caring about what it would do to them. Now she is playing the victim! She probably can care less about Jon and the kids. He is not that attracted to begin with, She just did all this for fame and she got it! If I was everyone I wouldn’t even talk about her because we are just giving her what she wants along with the Octo-Mom yuck these woman sicken me!!

yves November 1, 2009, 11:41 AM

Why hate I agree she is getting the publicity she wanted . She has no relation to the kids they are not her concern. He has every right to have a life and enjoy women!! Why care about anything but being out from a very bad situation. He is learning about the greedy slime that is our world. He has the right to pick beautiful, young, hot,women to be his friend and it it their stupidity not to recognize they are not likely to be his next main squeeze!!

pt November 4, 2009, 5:32 AM

This is incredibly good advice!! Save yourself and your emotional well-being now! I reconnected with my old college boyfriend that I nearly married 18 years ago. He was in the midst of an ugly divorce, was legally separated, etc. has 4 wonderful children that I dearly love and miss so much. What I really served as was the “transition person”. Even though I confronted him about this— he’d say “oh no”— and just as the writer said, made me & my son feel as if I was his world! He even went so far as to promise to marry me as soon as his divorce was complete. He did, however, help me financially which I appreciated— but that’s no substitute for true and honest emotional support!! I listened and was emotionally supportive for both him and his children for nearly 3 years. Once he got stronger, started making more $$ again, I was no longer what he was looking for. He broke off the relationship with me on the Friday of Mother’s day weekend. I’ve not talked with his children either since. Wow… so easy for a man to walk away. Once thing I’ve learned from this is to establish good boundaries, and a man isn’t really available in any way until the divorce is final— that’s not even counting the time needed to heal in an emotionally healthy way.

robin November 4, 2009, 5:44 AM

Dear Hailey: Stop going out with married men and maybe you wont have all of these problems. Stop picking older men who want to be 18 again so they dump their wife and 8 kids. Do you actually think this “man” is a good catch? LOL Do yourself a favor and go find a single guy thats really your age and not just wishing he was.

carol November 4, 2009, 5:45 AM

She’s 22— while we at that age think we know it all— we are clueless. Just as Hailey. She’s drawn into his spotlight, his power and liking it. Get out of it Hailey, this is not healthy, not empowering. The man is a loon.

jamie November 4, 2009, 6:05 AM

that advice is sooo right on the money. but of course, as we all know (many of us because we’ve been there once, long ago,) she wont listen.

Patty November 4, 2009, 6:22 AM

What goes around comes around.. Haley..
Kate is a beautiful educated woman.. You are not…

holly November 4, 2009, 6:33 AM

You can’t say the kids are not her concern. If she is dating their dad, they are. If she’s planning on marrying him, they most definitely are. I have a stepdaughter, I know exactly how much time stepmom puts in caring for kids as opposed to Dad. She most definitely needs to be in a ‘good’ place emotionally if she’s going to eventually have care of 8 little kids.

jen November 4, 2009, 6:46 AM

Why? I wouldn’t feel sorry for her. She is a homewrecker.

Anonymous November 4, 2009, 7:01 AM

I clicked this link from a story about Ian McKellen tearing Leviticus 18:22 out of bibles… and I just want to throw down that all you stunned women should stop hanging out on web sites complaining about Jon Gosselin. He’s a weirdo that’s for sure… and he’s in a divorce too… but all you Pop Culture celebricult followers are the ones making him famous.

If you knew a girl at the shopping market that was dating a divorced man, you wouldn’t pull her off the till and “have a little chat.”

Get off your high horse and go live your life instead of fake working out and yakking around the online water cooler.

DARLENE November 4, 2009, 7:06 AM

HAILEY——RUN RUN - RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN HE IS NOT READY FOR ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP HE IS VARY UNSTABLE NOW LET HIM GO IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU HE WILL UNDESTAND THAT. HE NEEDS TO BE ALONE NOW TO FIGURE OUT HIS PROBLEMS AND WHAT HE IS GOING TODO ABOUT THEM BELIEVE YOU ARE HURTING HIM BY STAYING WITH HIM.

Johanna November 4, 2009, 8:02 AM

All in this letter to Hailey applies - this Jon is emotionally unstable, dumb and incredibly SELFISH! But to say that she “Hailey” is “arm candy”??? Number one this -rather Plain Jane-girl is dumb, desparate and stupid enough to be “available” to him for a booty call - that is all. He left a much prettier wife to have “flings” with whoever was available, found a few, and realized that this inexperienced girl was there for the taking whenever he wanted to. I saw through this sap from day one. He is a narcissist who wants and never gives. WAKE UP, HAILEY, stop being the worn out door mat you are, be young again, and find someone decent without kids to support.

Johanna November 4, 2009, 8:03 AM

All in this letter to Hailey applies - this Jon is emotionally unstable, dumb and incredibly SELFISH! But to say that she “Hailey” is “arm candy”??? Number one this -rather Plain Jane-girl is dumb, desparate and stupid enough to be “available” to him for a booty call - that is all. He left a much prettier wife to have “flings” with whoever was available, found a few, and realized that this inexperienced girl was there for the taking whenever he wanted to. I saw through this sap from day one. He is a narcissist who wants and never gives. WAKE UP, HAILEY, stop being the worn out door mat you are, be young again, and find someone decent without kids to support.

Jamie November 4, 2009, 8:05 AM

my question is: why does she wear her sunglasses on her forehead like that? it bothers me.
that is all.

Kelly November 4, 2009, 8:19 AM

If a man cheats with you!! He will cheat on you.. No compassion for Hailey here.

Sister got involved with a married man!
and deserves exactly what she gets.

The only people I have compassion for in this mess are the Gosselin children.

They have bad decesion making adults
all the way around

Nick Donatelli November 4, 2009, 8:29 AM

Hailey is hot, I’d do her too!

meg hager November 4, 2009, 8:49 AM

I have no sympathy whatsoever for Hailey or any woman who dates a married or separated man. Especially one stupid enough to be attracted to Jon, he’s not worth looking at.

Donna November 4, 2009, 9:37 AM

Dear Hailey, Dont forget… Jon has 9 kids. If he stops the filming, he is obligated to support his children and possibly pay alimony. He is obligated to his children for the remainder of their life. Eighteen is not the magic number. Most often, after kids reash young adult life.. they require MORE financial support (college, unexpected babies, needing to move back home, etc). Dont forget that your step mom every other weekend and a month every summer. Dont froget you will be attending an endless amount of little league ball games, girls scouts, marching band, recitals, doctor appointments, dentals, eye glasses appointments, you name it. Are YOU ready willing and able to hold up to that? No? Neither was Jon. he admitted he did it for two years… all the things he EXPECTED Kate to do. He will also EXPECT you to do it too. OH, and dont forget all the meal planning, cleaning and laundry! Your going to be so exhausted there will no time for lovey dovey romantic times. When you DO have the time, your going to want some ME time. Jons going to expect some JON TIME from you then. Do you have a good job? More than likely, you will be paying Jons support payments. Can you go without your designer shoping trips and closet full of personal goodies? Yes? Good! Because all those little extras will go to the kids…. imagine your shopping trips x 6 girls… teenagers, at that! They require alot financially and emothionally. God Help you all when they all hit those teeage years! Something to think about, darling!
From, Been There Done That


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