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Sexy Halloween Costumes Scare Me

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I am crazy for Halloween. We go all out in our home. It's a time of year when no matter how old you are, you get to be a kid again ... that is, unless you are a kid.

girl in french maid costume

Beth Falkenstein: I usually start helping my girls plan and make their costumes in September. And while I don't toot my horn very often, I confess that I actually carry a brag book of photos of Halloweens past. This year, however, time (and energy) failed me and I have had to consider going the (gasp!) store-bought route.

If that decision weren't upsetting enough, it was about to get worse.

As I strolled the aisles of our local Halloween Mega-Warehouse Superstore with my 11-year-old, I had to double-check the aisles constantly to make sure I hadn't stumbled into the adults-only section. But my eyes weren't deceiving me. Package after package featured a scaled-down version of a suggestive adult costume, modeled by a pre-teen wearing too much makeup, a ratted hairdo, fishnet stockings, and striking a hands-on-thrusted-hips pose that seemed to say "Check me out!"

There was a sexy witch, a sexy devil, and a sexy vampire. But even more mind-boggling was the sexy Dorothy, the sexy Alice in Wonderland, and the sexy Raggedy Ann. Every costume was some sort of variation on the classic "Naughty French Maid." I half expected to see a Dora the Slutty Explorer. ("Look, Mittens! Can you say puta?")

Even my daughter noticed the trend. "Everything here is sexy," she observed. When I was 11, I did not even know that word, much less how to use it. What happened, and when did it happen? Is it the Madonna effect? Is it Britney's fault? I just know I'm going to open the door to a miniature Lady Gaga on October 31. (And I wonder if there will be any junior Brunos out there.)

Kids have always enjoyed dressing up like adults for Halloween. But that used to mean wearing faithful likenesses of professional uniforms, like cops, nurses, or soldiers.

Come to think of it, I guess not that much has changed. Kids are still choosing a grown-up profession for their Halloween costume ... the oldest profession.

next: Heidi Klum Gives Birth to Daughter
10 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley October 13, 2009, 4:44 AM

Yesterday, at TJMaxx my friend and I saw something that was for a 5 or 6 year old and it was a red velvet spagetti strapped laced up bodice with a fluffy skirt made of tulle that was very short. It would’ve been very cute on an older person, not a 5 year old!!

ame i. October 13, 2009, 8:39 AM

It’s the parents’ fault. If no one was buying these costumes, they wouldn’t be in stores.
It’s funny that parents allowing their daughters to wear such clothing are actually surprised when the girls end up pregnant as teens.

Evan October 17, 2009, 6:24 PM

Great post! Very well the costume….rock on! Evan

E. George Kerlie October 28, 2009, 1:13 PM

Sexy scares you? I seem to remember Doug pretending he was dead and you doing a funeral procession for the neighborhood kids. That’s not scary?

ChristineMM October 29, 2009, 2:48 PM

I saw a really creepy one with a teenaged girl dressed as Sponge Bob Squarepants which was like a tiny miniskirt thing with a lot of leg showing. She was in a sexy pose. The entire concept was freaking me out to think what girl would want to dress up as a male sponge kid cartoon character plus a teenaged girl in a sexy costume? Are boys or men supposed to find Sponge Bob as teenaged girl sexy? That is all too freaky to ponder.

ChristineMM October 29, 2009, 2:52 PM

follow up to last comment I made.
Here is a link to the sponge bob costume. It is labeled “adult sexy Sponge Bob” but the model IMO looks very much like a teen.

eew in general plus what man would want to think of Sponge Bob as sexy?

anonymous November 10, 2009, 6:05 PM

You guys need to relax.

Girls just want to express themselves.

They see it on TV and want to imitate it.

A little sex is good for them.

Leticia November 29, 2009, 4:31 PM

I have a recommendation that may answer some questions, “Chauvinist Female Pigs” by Ariel Levy.

sexy army costumes March 16, 2010, 3:33 AM

I have to admit, this costume scares me but this Costume looks sexy too.I am Absolutely horrified yet strangely intrigued by some of the Halloween costumes that are out there.

Jessica Poss February 23, 2011, 10:28 AM

Halloween is a big event in my family, and the most exciting moment for my daughters is when we go to the Halloween shop to chose the costumes. My daughters wanted to be costumed as witches, not sexy, but scary. After the costume, we chose two nice Wigs to match the idea of two little witches. The idea of “sexy costumes” for kids seems exaggerated but unfortunately the “lady Gaga trend” is advertised everywhere.

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