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Surrogacy/Egg Donation: Are You Too Old?

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Who's to say when it's too late for a parent to begin that journey?

women discussing surrogacy

Karen Roeb: Americans are constantly on the go and are frequent procrastinators. Look virtually anywhere and you will see the signs: fast-food restaurants on every corner, freeway signs giving the exact minutes to your destination, Internet sites providing the latest gossip information, etc. Or how about the New Year's resolution to start that diet, the exercise program we committed to at the gym, pushing off marriage to start a career, or the biggest one of all ... waiting to start a family.

As the field of medicine advances, so does the opportunity for men and women who choose to delay the family building process. Treatments in IVF, egg freezing, egg donation, and surrogacy are constantly evolving, thus making the idea of waiting to start a family very appealing for many individuals and couples.

But when does waiting to start turn into "too old"?

The guidelines provided by the fertility industry state that a couple whose combined ages exceed 110 years or a single parent, regardless of gender, who exceeds the age of 52 should not be allowed to undergo fertility treatment or an egg donor/surrogacy journey. Many IVF physicians, reproductive attorneys, psychologists, egg donors, and surrogates will not even entertain the idea of working with parents that exceed these imposed boundaries. In essence, one person's decision to postpone the joys of parenthood can ultimately be turned away for treatment based on a guideline.

Take, for example, the husband and wife, ages 65 and 45 respectively, who met and married later in life and have no children. Because of their combined ages, should they be denied the right to the advantages and opportunities the field of fertility offers to others based on age?

Are there no case-by-case decisions? Missed opportunities or second chances available? How is it that a guideline has the ability to stand in judgment? Do we not look to the older, wiser, more experienced individual for guidance on important life decisions? Were we not encouraged by our own parents to seek the wisdom from our grandparents on the "ways of the world"? Who's to say that the career-minded and experienced intended parent that happens to have maturity in age wouldn't be the best candidate after all?

Given that Americans and society in general are constantly changing and moving forward in virtually all aspects of their lives, perhaps it is time for society to reevaluate their judgment as the traditional nuclear family is constantly evolving.

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3 comments so far | Post a comment now
Egg donation in Spain October 16, 2009, 1:47 AM

In my point of view at least one of the couple should not exceed the age of 50.

Egg donation in Spain October 16, 2009, 1:48 AM

In my point of view at least one of the couple should not exceed the age of 50.

Anna January 3, 2010, 11:06 PM

its not fair for the baby to have parents that are that much older then them. Imagine both the parents are 55 when they have a son- that means when he is 10 they are going to be 65- this means, no rough housing, no playing sports with Dad. My parents were not even that old when they had me and I still feel the negative effects of having parents who are older then all the other parents, plus you have degenerative diseases that come with age. When their son reaches college their parents are going to be 73-75 years old- thats if they make it that long. Can you imagine how tragic it would be to lose your parents that young? Or to come to that realization in your teens that your parents are not going to live forever? That your parents will probably now live long enough to see you finish college and start a successful career? I am glad they have this law in some places

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