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10 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating

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You may think you know how to detect your cheating man, but even I missed the signs.

man whispering into telephone

Flying Solo with Two Carry-Ons: I always thought I was smart. Not that I was necessarily so street smart, but after working for 15 years as a journalist, I did feel that I had a very good reporter's instinct. And, well, everyone always talks about women's intuition.

So imagine my surprise when, after more than seven years of marriage, I discovered that my husband was cheating on me, and ... that he had probably been doing it since the very beginning.

Clearly, I missed the top 10 signs that my husband was cheating on me.

10. When your best friend tells you over and over and over again that she suspects your husband is cheating.

9. When your husband complains that he is too tired to have sex.

8. When your husband calls you up at 2 AM telling you he is too drunk to drive home and doesn't want to spend $100 on a cab. So instead, he goes and spends $800 on a swanky Beverly Hills hotel. (Keep in mind ... he has never taken me there.)

7. When you just gave birth to your first child via C-section and your husband tells you he "has to work." (Even the nurse picked up on this one. In my defense, I was postpartum.)

6. When your husband goes out of town for work and tells you that if you call his hotel room and "enter name of girl here" answers, it's because he switched rooms with her since hers was better.

5. When your husband tells you he wants to do his own laundry. (I thought he was just being nice because I was so busy with the house and kids. My lawyer explained otherwise.)

4. You buy a new dinette set and your husband suddenly tells you the smell of the wood will give him an asthma attack. Instead of returning it, he gifts it to a "friend" who just happens to be a girl.

3. When your husband comes home at 3:30 AM and tells you he was working hard writing at the university library. Only problem is ... it closed at 5 PM.

2. When you question your husband about the STD test you discovered he took -- and he tells you it's because he was worried that he contracted something from a public bathroom.

1. When your husband posts on his Facebook page that he is engaged to some chick named Stacey.

Sad to say ... these are all true.

50 comments so far | Post a comment now
chris November 13, 2009, 6:24 AM

OMG…too funny. I’m sorry that your husband cheated on you but YES all the signs were right there in front of you. Please be wiser in your next relationship.

KYmama! November 13, 2009, 6:33 AM

I read this thinking the signs would not be dead giveaways that he was a CHEATER, but apparently I was wrong. WOW, I can’t believe you couldn’t tell sooner…. Sorry!!

Roxana November 13, 2009, 7:16 AM

your fault. for being so dumb.

Coral November 13, 2009, 10:00 AM

You are so stupid…LOL It’s all in your face!

MaeveMom November 13, 2009, 10:52 AM

About a month ago, I found emails to his girlfriend. I sent her a very specific email called Top Ten Signs [his name] is Cheating on You. (Apparently he had told her we were through.) Long story short, she broke up with him too.

maeby November 13, 2009, 12:48 PM

dude that’s rough. but the std check? at least that was smart of him! imagine if he gave you something! that would be immediate grounds for castration.

Mack November 13, 2009, 1:44 PM

Do you know the difference between a blow job and a Big Mac? If not, do you wanna have lunch?

get smart November 13, 2009, 2:31 PM

What is wrong with us when all the signs are there and we don’t want to face them? Is it because we are in denial? We are afraid to leave them because of the effect that it might have on the kids? We feel stupid for being duped but you’ll feel more stupid though the longer this goes on. Then you are so jaded the next time you meet anyone. Maybe it’s for the best…you can just focus on your kids.

cynical November 13, 2009, 4:27 PM

This sort of thing really puts me off the idea of getting married. Statistics vary but about 50% of men and 30% of women will be unfaithful at some point in their marriage. Those who can tolerate infidelity are lucky, they are less likely to end up divorced.

Lee November 13, 2009, 6:57 PM

Oh please how many of us are in denial about something?? How many of us are sure our husbands are not cheating on us?? It is easy to say you would know but would you really????

texas chick November 17, 2009, 2:48 AM

Wow at first I thought this was a joke until the end for everyone who is making fun of this lady u can go **** yourself! First of all yall don’t lay in bed with her, yall also don’t know what goes on in her head. Don’t be so judgemental. She wrote this probably to vent and help other people. Who are all of you to judge. Lady I wish you all the best of luck. Now you know.

sheshagirl November 17, 2009, 4:01 AM

I personaly think all men are cheaters. I thought I found the one man who would never hurt me because he had me convinced he was different from all the rest. Then, around that famous seven year itch, I found the emails he left up on his computer. He had an affair. I thought my world had ended. Our baby was only 6 months. I finally forgave him but could not stop thinking about it. It took about a year for me to become comfortable again. Then, what do u know…I found new emails to a new co-worker talking about me and my husbands sex life and it was nasty. And she knew me and my family. I think they all cheat. No matter how in love they are what age they are. Dogs…that is why they are called that. Lower species.

Peggie November 17, 2009, 4:23 AM

First, I wondered where the compassion was in the hearts of some with some of these comments. We are all blind to something, we all do not want to think we would not know something like this, we would catch on sooner etc. However, we all have areas that we do not want to catch on, or we are naive about. She needs compassion not being called dumb or some other name.

I was married to a wonderful man for almost 30 years. He did not cheat. There was no time for it! We worked together, had 5 kids to raise and kept our life full together. We worked on “affair proofing” our marriage and with the help of God it was kept together.

When He died it was like I lost me. We were one.

Marriages were meant to be for life, but like everything in our society have become disposable to many. It is sad that our world has become as it is and selfishness has become the way of life.

Julie November 17, 2009, 4:38 AM

What a prick your (hopefully)ex is. I particularly can’t stand the idea of him being out shagging someone after you’ve just had a baby- C-section or otherwise.
I am sorry you had to have such a horrible experience and hope that you get to learn that there are some wonderful men out there.

Osha November 17, 2009, 7:10 AM

I wish that we think a little more clearly about this situation because sometimes when you are blinded by love you don’t see it for what is really is. You have to the gift that we have been given as ladies and even if the thought comes up in your mind you need to investigate to make sure it is not true! He should have left you before he did this and that makes him a coward! Thi is why we have a hard time trusting men! I feel that they should be called out on it after you have information on the situation!!!!! Men just leave don’t stay and ruin someones life!

wowCluelessMuch November 17, 2009, 7:11 AM

Really? you never picked up on these signs and yet it took you that long to figure it out? Maybe he found someone who is a tad bit smarter than you…Looks aren’t everything and if you experienced all these signs firsthand over the years without suspecting a thing, I would probably cheat on you, too. Let me be a little bit nicer, and say you should of gotten with the program. I don’t mean to sound so critical of you, but all woman need to be somewhat suspicious of their men. Just because they are married doesn’t make them blind. They will look at other woman. Are they all cheaters? No, but you do need to keep them in check. ALL THE TIME.

Kaylene November 17, 2009, 9:47 AM

This is not funny at all. This has become to comon in a lot of marriages! I was married for 25.5 years. I found out that my husband was cheating on me. He is now the X! I did meet another man after I let the wall down fall in love and married him. We love each other very much. The only thing I can say to Men and Woman that have cheated on the spouse get out of the relationship first to many people end up hurt. Not just the spouse but the kids it does a lot of damage to them. We are so busy trying to heel form what happen to us we don’t see what this has done to them! They are hurting just as much as you are.

Tami November 17, 2009, 10:22 AM

The lady’s husband sounds like a jerk, period…People cheat…That’s a fact of life…But to not me there for a person when they just had your baby is just low…He is a rotten person…Period…

Blessings November 17, 2009, 10:42 AM

The other big red flag is when the cheater is accusing you of cheating. Being cheated on is no fun. I hope you kicked him to the curb.
Some of the comments made here are really cruel, I’m sure you have said alot of them to yourself already.
You all who have been cruel and judgemental are either still kicking yourself for what your spouse did to you, or perhaps someday it will happen to you since you believe you are above it.
Hope your getting mentoring so the lesson doesn’t repeat.

Whitney November 17, 2009, 10:50 AM

I have lost all faith in men! I date them because in a way i have no choice. But overall, I don’t believe a damn thing that comes out of their mouths. I haven’t met one yet that know what love is, buys gifts and is honest! LIARS!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!

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