twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Cougar Attack

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

No sooner did the acronym MILF appear on our cultural landscape than another word to describe female sexuality burst into our common lexicon -- "cougar."

Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher

Dr. Wendy Walsh: If you don't know the meanings or implications of these terms, let me bring you into the party. The first describes a sexually attractive mother. It's been a great way for men to finally merge their whore/Madonna complex -- and I think it's a compliment. The later term, "cougar," is a word used to describe older women who prefer to hunt tender meat.

Lately, the word "cougar" has come under attack. Last week I was invited to appear on CNN representing momlogic to discuss this very point. I think the producers of the show were surprised by my assessment. Their question was this: Is the term "cougar" derogatory to women because it describes a female predator? I think the super-liberal media had assumed that liberal me would say, "Yah! Dump the term! Let women enjoy their hard-fought sexual freedom." While there is a part of me that does believe that women should enjoy their sexual freedom, there is a bigger part of me that wishes some women would be smarter, and stop thinking that copying male behavior is equality -- it's an equality trap.

With our newfound liberation and power, women should attempt to be something above the behavior of a few weak men whose brains are ruled by testosterone. Haven't we always looked down on older men who dismiss women their own age? Suddenly, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, and we have turned into one of them.

I mean, how much of an accomplishment is a cougar, anyway? Do women get some form of personal satisfaction and increased self-esteem knowing that they can bed a baby-man? Ladies, let me clue you in on one thing. Young men have guns so charged with ammunition that they'll shoot at most any willing target, especially one with a little wisdom and sexual experience. Being a cougar is not an accomplishment. It is silly. Real women are ready to face the challenges of a peer man with all his issues and foibles (including ED). We are two-faced if we complain that men are not respectful and patient when our sexual drive wanes after childbirth, and then we give up on men in middle age whose flag pole sometimes points south. Have some compassion, ladies.

So, should we retire the term "cougar"? No way. Let's just make the male counterpart more equal and change his name from "dog" to "wolf." Then we can all live happily together.

next: Missing Fla. Baby Found Alive Under Baby Sitter's Bed
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
Lee November 5, 2009, 7:56 AM

And sometimes we just happen to fall in love with someone that is younger than us. Not all women that are dating younger men “are copying male behavior”. And who is looking down on men that date youger women??? If two people are happy together what does age matter? It sounds like your the one that needs to be “clued in”.

Anonymous November 5, 2009, 12:25 PM

Are we only allowed to date/marry people of the same age? My friend is engaged to someone 9 years younger and they have a balanced happy relationship. If it’s working what difference does it make.

hellifiknow November 5, 2009, 12:49 PM

WHAT?! Really, I should accept ED although I have no kids thus never had the “waning sex drive” you describe. In fact, it’s waxing. And I’ve ALWAYS dated younger men…

The “baby-men” you describe have nothing to do with age…they come in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond as recent headlines prove.

Just goes to show you book-smart folks don’t always know what’s going on in the real world!

marge November 9, 2009, 11:05 AM

I don’t know why other women date younger guys, but I date younger guys become I find them sexually attractive. I’m divorced and do not intend to marry again, but, like everyone else, I like sex. And I like my freedom. why would I restrict my sex life to older guys or guys my age who have let themselves go physically.I have no trouble attracting younger guys.why would I date guys with love handles and other droopy parts when I could (and have)dated young guys with firm smooth bodies. I won’t say how young some of the guys I’ve had sex with are, but some have told me I’m a MILF.I take it as a compliment. I love having sex with young guys and I don’t care if they are experienced or not. Call me a cougar or anything else you want. I’m not looking for any long term relation, I just want physical and sexual companionship.

Miss P November 18, 2009, 2:12 PM

I am inclined to agree with Marge. Thank you my sister from another mother! Cause I’ve been there and am doing that. I owe no explanations or asking for any forgiveness!

Jack May 26, 2010, 8:54 PM

Why do “cougar” has to be donned as bad. Cougar to me is just an attractive middle aged lady. I WOULD LOVE my wife to be a attractive 45 yr old. Sounds to me like too many middle aged women who let themselves go are coveting on those “cougars” who still got it goin on. I personally applaud all women of all nationalities who become middle aged and still have it goin on like they are 21. If u got it goin on on dont turn it off.

Back to top >>