No sooner did the acronym MILF appear on our cultural landscape than another word to describe female sexuality burst into our common lexicon -- "cougar."
Dr. Wendy Walsh: If you don't know the meanings or implications of these terms, let me bring you into the party. The first describes a sexually attractive mother. It's been a great way for men to finally merge their whore/Madonna complex -- and I think it's a compliment. The later term, "cougar," is a word used to describe older women who prefer to hunt tender meat.
Lately, the word "cougar" has come under attack. Last week I was invited to appear on CNN representing momlogic to discuss this very point. I think the producers of the show were surprised by my assessment. Their question was this: Is the term "cougar" derogatory to women because it describes a female predator? I think the super-liberal media had assumed that liberal me would say, "Yah! Dump the term! Let women enjoy their hard-fought sexual freedom." While there is a part of me that does believe that women should enjoy their sexual freedom, there is a bigger part of me that wishes some women would be smarter, and stop thinking that copying male behavior is equality -- it's an equality trap.
With our newfound liberation and power, women should attempt to be something above the behavior of a few weak men whose brains are ruled by testosterone. Haven't we always looked down on older men who dismiss women their own age? Suddenly, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, and we have turned into one of them.
I mean, how much of an accomplishment is a cougar, anyway? Do women get some form of personal satisfaction and increased self-esteem knowing that they can bed a baby-man? Ladies, let me clue you in on one thing. Young men have guns so charged with ammunition that they'll shoot at most any willing target, especially one with a little wisdom and sexual experience. Being a cougar is not an accomplishment. It is silly. Real women are ready to face the challenges of a peer man with all his issues and foibles (including ED). We are two-faced if we complain that men are not respectful and patient when our sexual drive wanes after childbirth, and then we give up on men in middle age whose flag pole sometimes points south. Have some compassion, ladies.
So, should we retire the term "cougar"? No way. Let's just make the male counterpart more equal and change his name from "dog" to "wolf." Then we can all live happily together.
 | Dr. Wendy Walsh holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and her area of interest is Attachment Theory, a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. As a psychological assistant registered with the California Board of Psychology, Dr. Walsh has treated individuals, couples and families for a variety of mental health concerns including personality disorders, anger management, eating and substance disorders, and depression. Connect with Dr. Walsh on Facebook. |
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