Is this okay?
Guest Blogger Genevieve: At my kids' school, they use different
colored cards to monitor behavior. Green card means good, yellow card
means not-so-good, and red card is bad news.
Everyone starts on green. If they have a behavioral problem during the day, they are asked to turn their card to yellow. If there is another one, they're asked to turn it to red.
If they get three yellow or red cards in a week, they receive detention.
Last week, my son (who's in third grade) had to change his card to yellow. When I asked why, he said it was because he had to go to the bathroom. He said the teacher doesn't allow anyone to go to the bathroom after lunch.
He said that she told the class they can go AT lunch, and then they should be able to hold their bladders until 2:10, when they get out of school.
But I say: If you gotta go, you gotta go ... and I hate the idea of my son getting in trouble or receiving detention just because he had to go to the bathroom.
What do you think? Is this a fair policy ... or do I have a right to be "pissed"?
filed under: family
Email19 comments so far | Post a comment now >>
I would take issue with the school. This teacher needs to change her policy, unless of course SHE plans to pay for the medical bills when children in her class get urinary tract infections from holding it too long, too often.
- Robin
This is common. When I was in grade school about a zillion years ago — teachers were the same way.
- none
Whatever happened to just raising your hand if you had to go to the bathroom? I agree with the author; if a kid has to go, let the poor kid go. My daughter is only 18 months old, but I guarantee you, I would take it up with the school or teacher if I were in the same position.
- tracy
This is very common, I think that it’s more about trying to teach them when to do things. I know my stepdaughter gets in trouble for excessive bathroom trips (each kid is allowed one a day during learning time, and they have 2 recesses and a lunch)
- Sandy
I’d ask for details from the teacher because you could not be getting the full story. Was he being disrespectful or rude when he asked to go? Did he go during lunch when he was supposed to go? Is he making a habit of going in the middle of instruction? How long is it from lunch till the end of the day? As a teacher I’ve sometimes given minor consequences to kids that use the restroom at bad times to ensure that kids are not going unless it’ an emergency, and to discourage kids from saying they have to go to the bathroom when they really just want to wander the halls.
- Sara
My daughter’s school also has designated times for bathroom use. She has gotten a “level” on her behavior chart for having to go during a time outside of the designated. Unless it’s excessive, I do not think they should be punished for having to go to the bathroom!!
- Anonymous
This is just crappy! I know that schools need to have order but come on. This is just another reason why we homeschool.
- kristen
You have a right not only to be pissed but to also take this straight to the school, parents and anyone and everyone else that may help. Children are different and even to this day a girlfriend of mine has the blatter the size of a pea, and she is 30 years old. Every child is different, every person is different, and there is no time line that nature follows… when it calls… you have to answer. And frankly I think this is not only hurting the childs health but also interfering with their education… when a child has to go to the bathroom,and are not allowed to they are not concentrating on what the teacher is saying… they are watching the minute hand on the clock and trying to hold their legs closed tight. This is wrong, plain and simple. If a child has to use the restroom multiple times a day the teacher should bring it up to the parent and have a doctor make sure there is not an underlining issue. Holding your blatter is not only extremely bad for your health it is also an “accident” waiting to happen… and at that age something like that could haunt a child and be the target for bullying. I am sorry, but if that every happens to my children… there would be ALOT of people that would have to answer ALOT of questions because that is just WRONG!
- JOLENE
I completely agree with Jolene.. I would be pissed and there would definitely be some questions answered.
- You gotta go..you gotta go
Pissed wouldn’t begin to describe me if this was my son’s teacher.
- L A D
I’m a teacher and as crazy as this sounds its not uncommon. Often the reason for such a rule is this; many schools have safety policies that state the students may not go to the washroom without an adult. This means that if a student needs to go during an unscheduled time the teacher is instructed to line up all the kids and take everyone down the hall together. Teachers just say forget it and come up with these sorts of rules. I think its nuts, its not healthy for anyone to hold it for too long. Still I understand why teachers end up with these sorts of class rules.
- lisaw
As a former school board member, I would speak to the teacher first, informing her that if your child needs to use the restroom he is to be allowed to with out consequence and I would also speak to your child’s pediatrician about the possible ill effects forcing a child to hold their bodily functions for too long can have. No one, adult or child, can necessarily “go” on command. Younger children need to go when they need to go and older girls may need to go more often during their time of the month. As a mother, my own daughter has suffered kidney infections because there isn’t enough time during her 25 minute lunch or 3 minute mad dash from classroom to locker to use the restroom. Thankfully her doctor took issue with the school on her behalf.
- Mother Nature
I’d be upset, every child is different. My 4 year old can hold it up to 18 hours, its ridiculous but she only goes 2 times a day. I on the other hand am 31 years old and make at least a trip every hour or two if I am drinking the amount of water recommended.
- Jenny
In the school I work in I’ve been lucky enough to have a restroom in my classroom. The kids can use the restroom as needed as long as they don’t disturb anyone else. They learn to wait their turn and it works out relatively easy. I tell them that they can go during instruction only if it’s an emergency but if they feel they can hold it, try to until the lesson is over and independent work time takes place. But I certainly wouldn’t punish them if they couldn’t wait. For those few kids that take advantage and want to go several times a day, I let them know that it is fine with me and that I’ll just ask mom and dad for a note saying that it’s ok with them (maybe medical, nerves, whatever). Usually, when they hear mom and dad are going to be involved, they stop wanting to go every hour and only go two or so times a day. Bathroom time, any time, should be a right not a privilege.
- Anonymous
MY SON WAS HAVING BM ISSUES IN THE 1st GRADE SO IF HE NEEDED TO GO IT WAS NEVER PLANNED. HE HAD TO PULL A CARD FOR HAVING TO USE THE RESTROOM DURING CLASS TIME.HE WAS SO UPSET SINCE HE HAD NEVER PULLED ONE BEFORE. SO I CALLED AND TALKED TO THE TEACHER ABOUT HIM NEEDED TO GO ANYTIME NEEDED OR HE WILL GET BACKED UP FOR HOLDING IT & THEN WOULD NEED AN ENIMA. HE DID HAVE AN ACCIDENT IN CLASS ONCE. SO I TOLD HER-SHE COULD PERSONALY WALK HIM TO THE RESTROOM BEFORE EACH RECESS FOR HIM TO TRY OR LET HIM GO AS NEEDED. OF COURSE SHE CHOSE TO LET HIM GO WHEN NEEDED. I DID THIS AGAIN IN 2-3 GRADE BUT BY 4th ALL WAS WELL. HIS BM PROBLEMS STARTED FROM HIM HOLDING IT WHILE AWAY FROM HOME. IT WAS A MAJOR HEALTH ISSUE. ALL IS WELL NOW THANKS TO HIS TEACHERS UNDERSTANDING.
- MICHELLE
I helped in m grandsons class,when he was in kindergarden.There was a teacher next door from where he went to mschool,and this is what she did.I couldn’t believe it.They went to the bathroom to much then the’d get a red card.I said, that was stupid to make a child pull their card just because they had to use the bathroom
- TC
Teachers and schools are getting more bizarre with their made-up rules and policies.
- Anonymous
a child should be allowed to go to the restroom ANYTIME he needs to go. in 4th grade we had a teacher who told us that if we had to go to the restroom, we would have to stay afterschool. my mom did not want me staying afterschool, so I didnt know what to do when, during class, I had to take a pee. well, I peed in class because I couldn’t hold it any longer. it was one of the most humiliating moments of my young life. during that year, six other kids in my classroom also peed in class.there is no reason to put such a restriction on anyone. also it is dangerous and unhealthy to force a child to hold in a bladder movement or bowel movement. it’s just barbaric.
- bob
PLEASE STAND UP FOR YOUR CHILD AND STOP THIS CRUELTY!! Children should not be punished for taking care of a basic human need. This cruelty has to stop!! My daughter is in Kindergarten and has been repeatedly threatened with bad notes and actually punsihed with a bad note and part of recess taken away. Her crime was asking to use the bathroom at lunch. Her class was told no one could go unless it was an emergency. My daughter is on a prescribed laxative for constipation, which her teacher is aware of. She felt cramping in her stomach and asked to go to the bathroom. She wasn’t able to have a bowel movement, probably due to the constipation and the laxative not going into effect yet. She came out and told her teacher that “sometimes she can’t tell the difference between having gas and having to really use it.” Her teacher told her that she would have to learn, that she had to eat her lunch and couldn’t come to the bathroom just for a child to pass gas. It is unbelievable what this cruel woman has put my child through. This is only the beginning of her trying to control my daughter by forcing her to either choose between not going to the bathroom and getting a good note and no punishment or going to the bathroom and getting a bad note and punishment. All of this has taken place at lunch, which should be my daughter’s free time. My daughter can’t even eat at school and still fears going in the lunchroom because of this horrendeous treatment that has been done to her. As a result of forcing punsihment and being denied bathroom use, my child has wet her pants several times. She hasn’t wet her pants since she was 2. She has developed urinary frequency from all of this stress as well as the stress in the class. She was denied the bathrom repeatedly even when she started having the constant urge to go from the stress. The assistant even went in and watched her 11 times in a row to see if she was using the bathroom. She couldn’t use it since she was being watched, so they wrote her name on the clipboard for “bad” children who get “bad” notes. The teacher caused the frequency problem because of the stress she was putting my daughter
- Anonymous
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