Many of you will assume, before you even reach the end of this sentence, that I'm the villain. And you won't be alone. But you won't be right either.
Wife #2: I fell in love with another man. It was as simple and as complicated as that.
The simple part: we had to be together.
The complicated part: everything else.
We met at our children's school. Our kids were friends. Our families were friends, and yes, I was friends with his wife.
How did it happen?
At first, we were just acquaintances. But there was a simmering electricity, a lingering look across the pre-K classroom. Every day, I found myself swiping on some extra lip gloss, just in case he'd be at school. When the year ended, I was filled with an unfamiliar ache because I knew I wouldn't see him.
The next year, our children became closer, and so did our families. We started spending more time together, hanging out at each other's homes. There were some innocently delicious moments in those early days. Like the Christmas party, where, after one champagne too many, he grinned and said, "There are things about you, Caroline ..."
These moments became less innocent over time. One night, a group of us went to a neighborhood pub. We were the last two left. He kissed me.
Of course, we had the typical "that was a mistake, it will never happen again" conversation the next day. We tried desperately to stick to it, but we were done for.
Here's the strange thing: we never had much of an affair. We snuck around for about three weeks. I'm not proud of that, but we get points for brevity. We just weren't affair material.
I'll never forget the morning it all broke open. I was shopping with my kids when I got a voicemail from him.
"I can't take it anymore. I'm 99% sure I'm going to tell her today. Now I'm turning off my phone so you can't try to convince me not to. I love you."
There was plenty of torture to follow for all of us. But in the end, we left our spouses for each other. We're getting married and raising our five children (my three and his two) as a family. Our ex-spouses hate us on a good day.
We have only two priorities: our children and our relationship. Some of you are probably ranting about the "damage" we've done to our kids. There has been hurt. We don't deny it. But we'll spend the rest of our years making it right. Our children will have big, noisy, rich lives. And they'll grow up with parents so devoted to each other that they'd risk everything.
As for the exes, I wish they'd have revenge sex. Anything to ease the bitterness. We want them to be happy, but staying married to them would have only guaranteed unhappiness.
So did I steal him? His ex and the hens she clucks around with accuse me of that. But I don't believe anyone can really steal another person.
I think of it this way: if you were offered the chance to be truly happy, to live out your days with your soulmate, would you have the guts to jump? That's what we did. We held hands and jumped.
|Wife #2 is a writer, mom, and expert on what happens when you scorch the earth and leave your husband. She and the love of her life (the guy she left FOR) spend most of their time raising their blended family of five kids and trying to avoid grenades lobbed by their ex-spouses. Her hobbies include reading, working out, and occasionally blowing off steam with faithful girlfriends who understand life is too damn short to be miserable!|