What do you do if the man you're dating likes to hang out with your kid more than you?
Ashlee Holland: Last week, I had a great conversation with one of my girlfriends about dating as a single mom. Of course, we tackled the obvious: When do they meet your children? Who pays for the sitter? And so on. In the middle of the conversation, she threw a curve ball when she stated, "I think he likes my kid more than me!" Of course, she continued to explain, not in a perverted, Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" sort of way -- but that he genuinely was a sort of "big brother" when her son was around.
The guy she was dating seemed to be so at ease and filled with joy at the thought of playing a video game or shooting a basketball around with her son. I guess it's bad enough to feel like a guy is not interested in you, but the thought that he has more fun and pays more attention to your 9-year-old is a bit of an ego buster, and potentially a tad bit creepy.
I tried to encourage her by saying, "Maybe he is just a GREAT guy. The good thing is he loves your son! That is a good thing ... right?" She nodded and said, "Well, what do you do if he calls to ask if your son is free on Saturday night to go bowling, and does not invite you to go?" OUCH! Trying so hard not to laugh, I asked, "Have you REALLY checked this guy out?" I was thinking, you either have a complete weirdo or just another big kid on your hands. He was in fact a counselor, currently coaches, and checked out just fine. Even with that being the case, the thought of being alone on a Saturday night, while your son is out with the guy you are dating ... WOW, let's just say, depressing!
What do you do when a guy has more fun playing Wii than he does getting a massage from you? What do you do when a guy wants to see a movie, but insists that your son come along? I have never experienced this phenomenon in dating, so where do you draw the line?
I think it is GREAT that single men with no children show a genuine interest in women with children. I do have to ask ... WHAT ABOUT MOM?!?!
We could not stop laughing at the thought that her child was cooler than she was in this guy's eyes. Losing to another woman -- we can deal with that. We can make up a million reasons why he chose her over you. If your son is awesome, then what? LOL
How do you deal with the fact that the guy you are dating may be more interested in hanging with your son than you? I say dump him, and keep him around as a free sitter, as long as he is legit! Happy dating!!!
|Ashlee Holland, single mom of one and former actress on "Days of Our Lives," brings money and timesaving advice to momlogic.com. Ashlee's range of frugal and fabulous expertise helps moms find efficient and affordable ways to cut costs and stretch a buck. Ashlee's resourceful and innovative tips, combined with her infectious enthusiasm and tenacity, motivate anyone to survive and thrive.|