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PiscesMassachusetts Man Says He Was Fired for Telling Colleague Her Gay Marriage Is Wrong
Vidala claims the woman, whom he declined to identify, mentioned four times that she had married her partner. He said he then left the store briefly to visit the airport's chapel before returning.
"I found it offensive that she repeatedly brought it up," Vidala said. "By the fourth time she mentioned it, I felt God wanted me to express how I felt about the matter, so I did. But my tone was downright apologetic. I said, 'Regarding your homosexuality, I think that's bad stuff.'"
The woman, according to Vidala, then said, "Human resources, buddy -- keep your opinions to yourself," before exiting the store.
Two days later, Vidala, who had been employed for just a matter of weeks, received a termination letter citing the company's zero-tolerance policy regarding "harassment" and "inappropriate and unprofessional" comments.
"In the state of Massachusetts, same-sex marriage is legal and there will be people with whom you work with who have fiancées or spouses who are the same gender," the Aug. 12 letter read. "... While you are entitled to your own beliefs, imposing them upon others in the workplace is not acceptable and in this case, by telling a colleague that she is deviant and immoral, constitutes discrimination and harassment."
Vidala disputes using the words "deviant" and "immoral" during conversations with human resources employees on the matter.
"I did say I regard that lifestyle as deviant, as in deviating from the norm, but I never, ever said to that to the [manager]," he said. "In general, I believe people don't want to hear about controversial issues like that in the workplace. They shouldn't have to."
Vidala, who has not hired a lawyer, said he is considering filing a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
In a statement issued to FoxNews.com, Brookstone President/CEO Ron Boire said a "thorough and fair investigation" had been completed in the matter.
"We do not comment on any specific personnel issues," the statement read. "However I will say that Brookstone is an equal opportunity employer, meaning that we maintain a healthy, safe and productive work environment free from discrimination or harassment based on race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, age, national origin, physical or mental disability, or other factors that are unrelated to the Company's legitimate business interests.
"We are proud of our diverse workforce of varying cultural, ethnic, and religious backgrounds."
Asked why he felt the need to comment on the woman's personal life, Vidala, who has since left the Boston area, said he felt compelled to do so.
"I see, like all real Christians, homosexuals as people who, like me, are sinners and need to be told the truth in a loving way," he said. "In this situation, I took issue with the behavior. I think it's lunacy to call that type of behavior marriage in any kind of form. I had to express that I'm intolerant of that behavior. It's a love-the-sinner, hate-the-sin kind of deal."
Vidala said he felt "intentionally goaded" by the manager to comment on her relationship.
"She knew how I felt about homosexuality," he said. "When you talk to someone about something like that, you want their support. She was kind of looking into my eyes for that social cue for me to say, 'I'm happy for you.' But I really couldn't feel happy for her."
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- 13 Comments
ignorance isn’t bliss in this case huh?
Sarah, you may be a woman of faith, just not christian faith, not if you support gay anything. You are supposed to treat people well, but not agree with the sin. It is a sin, the bible says for a man to lie with a man is an abomination.
I think the women should be fined for forcing her belief on him! He should have every right to tell her that he doesn’t agree with her homosexuality if she’s the one who keep being the subject up. In no way was he harrassing her. Have we become so p.c. that people are not allowed to have a difference of opinions? I don’t agree with homosexuality…not because of faith reasons but just because I found it gross.
As an Athiest I don’t agree with religion of any sort… I just don’t believe in it I think. I will keep my opionions to myself. I think if you are sitting in front of me at work and choose to say a prayer or are in school and choose to say a prayer I would never comment on it. It’s not my place to tell you or anyone else how to live. So why should this be different. He should have been fired that was unprofessional and if they have a gay customer would he make the same comment? It’s no ones place to judge someone if you are religious and feel gay people are sinners well you can say what you want but it’s just your opionion.
If the woman had told the man one time or two that her and her partner went on this great trip, it would have been fine. However, she kept bringing it up, knowing how he felt. As far as I am concerned she should have been put in her place. As for the firing, isn’t that a little over the top? I can tell you this, I will think long and hard before I ever walk into another Brookstone. Anyone, can have their opinion. I pray for the human resourse lady. I hope that she has a good life. I hope she can keep a happy, healthy life. As for the man, it is ashame that he be ostracized for that belief. I pray for him to recover quickly. As for Brookstone, I hope they file for Chapter 11 and go out of business. They are not a business of character. When are we, as a human society, going to have the audacity to be humanly kind to one another, and allow us the opinion we deserve. This did not infringe on her right to live, and go on her trip with her partner. Sorry lady, but not everyone is going to agree with you. Not every person is going to agree with every person. Just the way it is.
He claims as a Christian he has to tell people that they’re sinning. I don’t think this man was being paid by his employer to be preaching his religion at work. If he was uncomfortable with the subject he should have simply told the woman that he’d rather not discuss her personal life. If the the woman had been fired for criticising the fact that this guy was going to the chapel telling him christians were “bad stuff”, you guys who are in favour of sharing your opinions at work wouldn’t be defending the woman’s right to offend the guy’s religion. Why the double standard? If people are at work, let’s keep it professional. If you’re unprofessional, you lose your job. I do believe, the punishment is a bit harsh, but he’s definitely in the wrong here.
Wasn’t she being unprofessional as well??? She knew how he felt yet she contitued to talk about “her wife”. I know we all have to be political correct these day but look where that got our sevice man down at Ft. Hood. People knew that guy was a muslim who talked about the injustices of his people by the united states and no one did the right thing to have him kicked out of the army because he was a muslim and was afraid of being called a racist.
Since same-sex marriage is legal in the state he worked in, where a gay marriage has the same legal rights as a straight one in that jurisdiction. I see nothing wrong with sharing minor personal details at work - people do it all the time who are straight - talking about their kids soccer teams, their anniverseries, wife/husband can’t decide what sofa to buy that weekend shopping, bringing their dates to company events. It is not like she disclosed super intimate details. If there is not company policy against discussing some basic personal info with coworkers, she did nothing wrong. He on the other hand, did get confrontational with whatever he said - the exact words are irrelevant - he attacked her personally by saying that her being in a gay marriage was “bad stuff.” The love the sinner hate the sin is a transparent red herring that almost every gay citizen sees through - especially us Christian ones. If someone starts talking about details that are not intimate but you don’t want to talk about at work (trust me - I do not want to hear about Johnny’s soccer practice) - do what I do - start talking about work. Don’t go to a chapel, arm yourself with a load of “righteous outrage” and then expect the chips not to fall. Can you imagine if I as a gay married man went to my straight married coworkers and told them I had communed with God and come to the conclusion that they were wrong to be in relationships or married because they were breeders causing overpopulation, or that their intimate acts seem icky to me (by the way - I hold neither of those opinions - just using them as examples). This whole issue is apples and oranges - she talked about a trip a few times, he got uncomfortable and unloaded in an unprofessional way that does deserve termination depending on the details - which we do not have all of, and hope we never do. This garbage from the fringe telling us our culture is under attack is typical of anyone who is dogmatic and not getting their way - any little thing becomes a rant for a cause. Like Sarah Palin, end of life counseling turns into rhetoric like “death panels” and everything gay is a “sin” but Christian mouthpiece beauty queens who make naughty tapes are just making “bad decisions.” The rhetoric from this group is nauseating. If you don’t like it, it still has nothing to do with you. You can go on living in the picket fenced past, nobody will stop you or force you, your kids, or your churches to do ANYTHING. Turnabout on that would be fairplay.
My question is if this had been a black man that the manager was engaged to and this “Christian” employee had commented that interracial marriage was “bad stuff” because that was his religious view would that too have been OK? This guy is very simply a religious bigot, which is why he was fired. We all have opinions about all kinds of subjects, but most of us know that the work place is not the place to express those views that are offensive to others. I’m sure the visiting manager was excited about her upcoming marriage, as anyone would be, and her talking about it is a very natural thing to do. Most companies have policies in place that specifically forbid, discriminatory comments of any kind even toward religious organizations.
@dani
And where in the bible does it say that being gay is a sin? There is a difference between gay sex and being gay.
And more specifically where does it say lesbianism is a sin? You quoted a bible verse about a man laying with another man yet this is an issue with a gay woman.
I wonder how he would have felt had the shoe been on the other foot? If he had been discussing his girlfriend, or wife, repeatedly and was told to stop by that co-worker. Alternatively, how would he have reacted had a co-worker said something like “fundamentalist Christianity is a perversion of all true religion”?
Freedom of speech works both ways. It was wrong to fire him for a one-time remark (assuming that’s what happened), but it was also wrong of him to impose his religious views on others. If heterosexuals have the right to discuss their private lives at work (leaving out graphic details of course), then so do homosexuals!
Good information. Enjoyable to read. I just have a single observation to make about shirts.
Oh boy! I have such strong feelings about this, I might just have to blog about it myself. I am so annoyed. I can’t even express what I am feeling right now.
I will say that I am a woman of Faith AND pro gay-rights. He crossed the line. He sounds brainwashed and closed-minded and should have kept his thoughts to himself.