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I Survived the 'New Moon' Midnight Show

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By now, everyone is well aware of "Twilight" mania, but last night, I experienced it firsthand. Oh yes, that's right ... I attended the midnight showing of "New Moon," and somehow, I made it out alive.

I Survived the 'New Moon' Midnight Show

Guest Blogger Janine: Let me preface this by saying, I am sort of a fake "Twilight" fan (shhhhh!). I only read half of the first book but, I did see the first movie -- and after seeing it, completely "got" why it was such a huge phenomenon. Hey, I was a tween once too! So, knowing this would be the biggest premiere of the year, I bought tickets back in September because I knew, if anything, this was going to be one hell of a crazy story. And to really do this thing right, I showed up in my official Hot Topic New Moon Bella and Edward hoodie -- newly released, might I add. I bought it that day at lunch as a joke.

I arrived at the theater and there were 8 different lines for 8 different showings wrapped around the block. Everyone was decked out in Twihard garb -- complete with blankets, sweatshirts, hats, and, let's not forget, the handmade, puffy-painted "Team Jacob" headbands. The 15-year-old girls at the front of the line told me they had skipped school, not telling their parents (of course), to set up camp at 9 AM. As this is something I obviously would not do, being the only one in line with a paying job (other than the Coldstone Creamery kids), my place in line was, of course, at the very end. The attendance was made up mostly of girls, except for a few pissed-off boyfriends/husbands, creepy 60-year-old grandmas (with flashing light vampire jewelry), and freaky Goth teen misfits who wore trench coats and had huge earlobe-stretching gauges. It was quite a cast of characters.

Everyone looked cold and hungry, but as soon as they opened the doors, the Twilight Hysteria Brigade paraded into the theater with full force! "Team Edward!" "Team Jacob!" "Shut up, Bella is Hot!" Everyone ran for their seats (mine was surprisingly in row three, not row one, as expected), and the chants continued. "Team Edward!" "Team Jacob!" "Why can't the movie just start?!" A beach ball somehow showed up, and suddenly I was transported to a deranged high school pep rally. The random shrieks continued for the next 20 minutes as I waited for my impending death.

Finally, the previews started, and every tween in the theater felt the need to yell their response to each upcoming movie (all vampire/romance-themed -- except for the Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin one, which was clearly to amuse the moms). Then, it began ... [SCREAMS!] 120 minutes of never-ending screaming.

Experiencing this insanity was kind of like attending a rock concert -- except instead of girls cheering for guys holding guitars, they're screaming for shirtless, prepubescent boys. Every time one even entered the frame, the crowd exploded. "You're HOT!" "I want your body!" "Kiss Her!" And, of course, throughout the movie, I heard the occasional "Shhhhh!," "Shut up!," "You're ruining the movie!" I made the mistake of giggling at the wrong time, and I was scolded with a "Fake fan alert!" shoutout.

So, with all the continuous shrieking -- was the movie actually any good? Your teen/tween will say yes (because Jacob's abs are unreal). The truth is, no. From a typical moviegoer's perspective, there's really not much of a story arc, there is no way Bella even crushing on Jacob is believable, and, what I found most confusing, there is no explanation whatsoever as to why wolf boys don't like clothes.

Don't want to see "New Moon," but want to experience the insanity? Listen to the live footage I got ... I dare you.

For parents bringing their kids to see "New Moon," I have a couple pieces of advice: earplugs and cocktails.

next: 3-Year-Old Left on Subway Platform Alone
13 comments so far | Post a comment now
m November 20, 2009, 3:08 PM

The wolves don’t wear clothes because they just get shredded when they phase, but you probably don’t care

Mommyroxx November 20, 2009, 4:23 PM

and their temperature runs 108 degrees. im sure you wouldnt want to wear a lot of clothes if you were always that hot.

Anonymous November 20, 2009, 5:41 PM

New Moon On Monday?

Sarah Ewing November 20, 2009, 6:18 PM

I have no way to start this other than giving you an example. I am not a fan of Harry Potter, therefore I would never fathom going to see a midnight showing of the movie, let alone seeing it in theatre’s at all. Nor would I buy merchandise as a “joke” that would support something that I admit to not enjoying.

Now to my point, first and foremost you contradict yourself through out the blog, stating that you were “the only one in line with a paying job”, yet continue to say that there were 60 year old grandmas and unhappy boyfriends/husbands, makes me believe that you were not the only person in line with a “paying job”. I think it is very disrespectful to assume that these people do not work. I also would like to say, I am truly offended that you would assume “teens/tweens”, or anybody in that matter, only like the movie for Jacobs amazing abs. I would like to point out that making fun of the “freaky goth teen misfits” shows immaturity and lack of respect for people who are not “fake”, and express their personalities through their clothing. (unlike you, who admitted to being a “fake fan”, and spent $30 for a hoodie advertising a movie you claim to not even like) So the question is, who’s real and who’s not? Some blogger, or some tweens who have passion for something other then wasting their time and energy watching a movie that they knew they would not like; solely for the purpose of writing a blog that clearly lacks intellect and originality!

Pamala November 20, 2009, 6:21 PM

I don’t think the clothing thing is explained until book three anyhow. But it’s because their clothes get torn up when they phase. They typically take off their shoes before phasing as well, so as to not ruin them everytime.

Needless to say New Moon was perhaps the worst book of the series, not to say book three was any better. I’m not seeing this movie until it’s on DVD because frankly I can’t deal with screaming teenage girls.

Paulina November 21, 2009, 6:59 AM

hahahaha. This is great. I wondered what showing up to that midnight showing would be like.
Sarah you could lighten up, this is supposed to be funny, not offending, it’s just a movie for god’s sake

Sarah Ewing November 21, 2009, 8:49 AM

Paulina- Who are you to tell me to lighten up. I think it’s offensive for someone to pass judgement on people they don’t even know or have talked to, and blog about it. I am bringing to the bloggers attention how disrespectful some of her comments were. So don’t tell me to lighten up. People like this blogger and you are the reason why we have such a problem in this world with low self esteem. I mean seariously, this blogger (who I can only assume must be an adult since she claims she was a tween before, and the only working peron in line)is making fun of kids, younger then her, who have done nothing to her. If you dont see anything wrong with that, then you are just as bad as her or him.

To Sarah November 21, 2009, 4:16 PM

This blog is written as a humorous piece. It is not designed to be literal. You are taking it that way, and by that are missing its finer points.

I hate Twilight and never talk about it at all, but this article may be the only thing I mention about it ever.

Rita November 21, 2009, 9:30 PM

Wow. Why would you even waste money on a movie/book you don’t like? That’s just stupid!!!

As for myself, I love Twilight. I promised myself I would never get caught up in a book trend but I read the first line in Twilight and I was hooked. I haven’t read Breaking Dawn yet but that’s the only one. I even went to the authors website to read Midnight Sun.

And to answer your questions, I’m 30. NO, I’m not fat, or sad, or whatever you wanna think of me.

I love Twilight and I’m not ashamed to admit it!!!

Oh, and I would never go see a movie because I didn’t like it and wanted to make fun of it. Ok, maybe I would for 2012 cuz honestly the CGI looks so bad in it. Seriously, Roland Emmerich could have spend a little more time on it!!!

Sarah Ewing November 21, 2009, 10:36 PM

You obviously like it enough to go see the midnight showing, and then blog about it. You must be a loser with nothing better to do with their life. Enjoy that.

Anonymous November 23, 2009, 1:26 PM

Sarah? Calm down. I’d have to assume that you’re exactly the type of “freaky goth” she was talking about. In spirit, anyway. She was kidding.

Enough about that though, I went to the Twilight midnight showing last year. Holy hell that was insane. I spent the whole time asking my friend things like, “what did he say?!” and trying not to smack the crap out of the kid behind me who was kicking my seat the whole time. I turn around and the kid’s sometimes abound 12. Shouldn’t she be in BED?!

Susan Ayersman November 23, 2009, 6:14 PM

Sarah Your Awesome….

Anonymous November 26, 2009, 5:55 AM

You would probably understand a lot of the things you dont if you would read the books. You cant really judge something unless you know about it. Well, you can because you did but you shouldnt. =] Just sayin’.

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