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Thanksgiving As a Single Mom?

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Thanksgiving has been a tough holiday for me because I officially became a single mom on this very holiday.

woman in a bath tub

Single Mom Seeking: So, I now have enough Thanksgivings under my belt as a single parent to have some experience with this. Are you a single parent celebrating Thanksgiving? Will you have your kids -- or not?

If you're divorced -- and your ex has the kids -- will you get some much-needed "me time" and spend the day on your own? Maybe you'll watch a string of old movies with popcorn? Or, do some yoga and take a bath?

Personally, I'm on board with having a girlfriends' Thanksgiving -- like single mom blogger known as Ms. V. -- a mom of two sons who got divorced a few years ago -- agrees.

"I'm not one to advocate volunteering at a soup kitchen, because it's been done to death as a way to avoid your real feelings," Ms. V says. "I say, volunteer in your house."

Here's what Ms. V. means:

"If you don't have the kids, make your house warm and cozy for you. Have some friends over. Put something bubbling on the stove, play music, light scented candles, bake cookies, and build a fire -- yes, a fire in the fireplace."

"So, when your kids get back, they enter this warm, cozy home. THAT is something to be thankful for -- coming back to a real home."

Also, know that you might not be alone for future Thanksgivings. Take single mom My Life Incomplete, who's celebrating Thanksgiving with her boyfriend of 18+months, his family, and her 4-year-old son.

"I love his parents, brothers, their wives and their kids. We are a fun bunch when we all get together! I am really looking forward to spending the holiday with them."

For My Life Incomplete, spending a Thanksgiving alone is still vivid in her mind. If you're alone, she suggests:

"We spend too much time wondering what if, wishing things would have turned out differently, beating ourselves up, trying to understand, etc. Be thankful for this opportunity to start living this new life and for the chance to discover YOU in the months and years to come. Whatever the reason you are single this Thanksgiving, you can be thankful for that."

next: Secret Service Says Couple Crashed State Dinner
3 comments so far | Post a comment now
Debrina Washington November 26, 2009, 9:15 AM

As a single mom of a busy 2-year-old, my family decided to go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving. It’s different. I’ve spent the last few Thansgivings, cooking up a storm, trying to give my son a sense of normalcy. Well this year, we’ll start a new tradition.

Debrina Washington
DL Washington Law

Affordable Virtual Legal Services for the New York Community

Anonymous November 27, 2009, 8:11 PM

Boo Hoo

Jacki Semerau December 26, 2009, 3:17 PM

It’s a tough balancing act for sure! We’ve found a way to compromise. Every year, my kids get 2 thanksgiving dinners, one on the actual date, and one on the Saturday after. Their dad and I switch off every other year on who has them on the actual holiday. It might not be ideal, but it’s worked for us for 5 years.

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