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A Fish (Mom) Out of Water (Sweatpants)

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My husband's job recently pulled me out of my comfort clothes zone.

people having dinner

Michelle Kemper Brownlow: We live in a small farm town. I am an at-home mom. There is no need to be fancy. There is, however, one invitation-only event that is a "gala." We are talking panty hose and makeup.

My husband is an executive of a local company, and all of his colleagues and their career wives attend this event. When the invitation arrives, I RSVP "YES," excited to get fancy! I text/e-mail/voice message my husband to save the date.

The week of the event, I head to the mall for something stunning. An hour later, I decide there is nothing stunning about control-tops on cellulite. The night of the event, I beg the sitter to go with my husband so I don't have to leave my comfort zone.

There are fancy people who greet us at the door, fancy people who show us to the table with our place cards. Fancy women who don't look like they own anything made of sweatshirt material sip Chablis and throw their heads back with fancy fake laughter as they run into my husband's boss.

I try my best to be fancy. I plaster the celeb smile on my face and make small talk with his wife who probably actually showers every day. The men head to the bar. He brings back wine ... I really want a beer ... right out of the bottle, but I guess that's not fancy.

Throughout the evening, I warm up. I participate in small talk that does not include the words booger, poop, or Lightning McQueen. I reapply lipstick like a pro. I am fancy. As we walk to the car, I think to myself, I could pull this off again. But as I pull off my control-tops, I change my mind; I'll never be too fancy for sweatpants.




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28 comments so far | Post a comment now
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