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Pisces5 Ways to Fake Delight Over a Crummy Gift
The fine art of putrid present opening.
Momlogic's Momstrosity: It doesn't matter what their tacky novelty T-shirt says -- some people are not Born to Shop. These people's inability to choose a decent gift becomes your problem -- if you want to be polite -- which of course you do because, heck, they DID think of you -- even if they showed it by buying you a vase in the shape of a cowboy boot.
So, what do you do when you absolutely hate the gift you just opened in front of the beaming gift-giver? Here are a few skills you should sharpen before you unwrap ANY gift this holiday season.
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The Marlon Brando Method Use the acting technique developed by Lee Strasberg, founder of the Actors Studio. Think back to a time when you received a present you truly loved. Then channel that feeling of happiness onto the coral encrusted suspenders that you just got from your cousin. However, don't remember back to a gift that was given to you by an old flame -- the one you thanked by initiating wild sex on the living room floor. |
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The Karate Kid |
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The "Whoops!" |
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The "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow." As in "snow job." Rather than talking about how much you like the gift, complement the person who bestowed the present on you. Stroke their gift-giving ego:
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The Cheers! This method works best if you've had enough of hanging with the relatives. Upon opening the gift, declare that "This collection of ceramic unicorns makes me remember how others are less fortunate than I." Insist that you donate the gift immediately to those in need. Your family will be impressed with your selfless act. At that, march out of the house, bid your relatives adieu, and hightail it to the nearest bar. |
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- 1 Comments
LOL these are good suggestions. I like the one about spilling your drink for a distraction. That way you can compose yourself and think of something sweet to say. Hope you have a great Christmas!