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Wake Up! There Is No Prince Charming!

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As little girls growing up watching Disney movies, we are told that fairy tales come true, and that if we find our Prince Charming, we will live happily ever after. Well, what do you think Tiger Wood's wife, Elin, thinks about that now?

there is no prince charming

Flying Solo with Two Carry-Ons: They say 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. While that may be true, after years of chatting with friends, it is my opinion that wedded bliss rarely ever exists and almost everyone is miserable. I would actually say that maybe 1 percent of those who tied the knot are truly happy and are still in love with their spouse, even after years of married life.

A couple years ago, I was out with a small group of friends. Two of the gals were married with children. The other gal was there with her boyfriend of two years. She wanted to get married. He, on the other hand, was apprehensive, since none of his friends or family were happily married. And after what my friend Elizabeth said to them, you can bet that he would never marry anyone.

Feeling unhappy and stuck in her own marriage, Elizabeth looked at Katie and said, "Let me tell you something that no one ever tells you about marriage. One day you'll go to bed praying that he dies on the 405 freeway."

Oh come on, don't be horrified. You know you all have thought it at least one time ... unless you are one of the lucky ones in that 1 percent.

To those of you married, unmarried, or ever thinking of getting married, I offer some advice that I have accumulated from my much wiser sisters who have gone through this before me.

Don't bother changing your name. It's a pain to do when you get married, and an even bigger pain changing it back. If you must, just because you are so "in love," tack his name to your maiden name.

When naming your children, always include your maiden name in theirs. It is crucial if you go back to your maiden name after the divorce. It makes it much easier for medical and legal issues, and when you travel with the kids.

• If you are a stay-at-home mom, the best advice I can give you is to do what you can to save up some F-you money. Take some money wherever you can get it: grocery money, drink one less latte a day, go to the 99 Cent store and pocket the rest. Even if you never get divorced, you can always go out later and buy something nice.

To the outsider, Elin appears to be one of the lucky ones. She has millions of dollars to help make her happy once again. But take it from me, if your ex turns out to be a deadbeat, the extra cash you embezzle from your community accounts will most definitely come in handy.

You might think I'm totally cynical, but no one goes into a marriage thinking they will get divorced -- just ask those 50 percent -- but things do happen, so it's best to be prepared. Unfortunately, I wasn't.



next: Feedback: Does Tiger Deserve a Little Privacy?
16 comments so far | Post a comment now
dc December 19, 2009, 10:17 AM

this is disgusting.

really? December 19, 2009, 11:21 AM

bitter much?

Mom2two December 19, 2009, 12:00 PM

I think far too many people get married too quickly. That’s why the divorce rates are so high. And people give up way too quickly.

happily married December 19, 2009, 12:00 PM

Are you for real? I LOVE my husband even more now after 2 kids and 10 years of being together! I credit my faith in God for getting us through rough patches.
If you truly want to change, try the LOVE DARE book. It works, I promise.
Also, get some new friends! Sheesh! Who are these people????
The reason why there are so many divorces is because of our ‘me’ centered culture. Marriage is not about YOU and what your spouse can do FOR YOU, it is about what you can do FOR YOUR SPOUSE. Love is a choice, people.


Sarah December 19, 2009, 12:08 PM

i agree with this wholeheartedly. i was a SAHM for 5 years when i found out my spouse was cheating on me, and that wasnt the first time. after i kicked him out i coudnt find full time work, and my old place of employment succumbed to the economy and was closed. i had 2 part time jobs but i still lost my car and my home. i ended up going back to him bc i had nowhere else to go.

Ron December 19, 2009, 8:55 PM

Yes, this is basically true, however, that happy percentage is some 10-20% of those, who survive the first 7 years. Unfortunately, at the same time, many of those 10-20% are kinda one dimensional couples who don’t have a whole lot of differences in worldwiew, hence similar ethnic backgrounds, religions, etc. So what that means is that for the basic, modern independent thinking person, marriage is most likely going to be less than optimal. Perhaps one should get married, actually live in separate rooms, and ‘do it’ in the living room. I think the idea is to realistically assess the situation long before the ink is dry.

Lisa R. December 20, 2009, 5:15 AM

I thought the article was kinda funny. Huh. Maybe I missed the point. I admit I have NEVER hoped my hubby dies on the freeway & I think of myself as happily married. I think the problem for most people is we expect certain things from our spouse & when he/she fails to deliver we think that means they don’t love us & the marriage is over. My husband does things that make me crazy & I want to kick him sometimes, but those are little things that I know in the big picture aren’t that important. Overall, it’s good, we’re happy, our children are healthy & happy. If you have to have more than the basics to be happy, you’ll never be truly happy. Very often, we are nicer to the cashier at the grocery store than we are to our spouses.

Sarah, I’m so, so sorry for you. Your story made me sad. I hope you can get away from that cheating low-life & make a happy life for yourself & your kids. No one deserves to live in misery just so she has a place to live & a car. Don’t give up hope!

J December 20, 2009, 9:48 AM

I hate when people do this.

They fail at something(i.e. marriage,relationships) and instead of taking responsibility for thier choices or marriage or whatever they just claim that well everybody’s marraige is a failure or everything is rigged against them.

briellis December 20, 2009, 11:41 AM

I agree with this article. I’m married, but I’m not naive enough to think that we’re invincible as a couple. There are things he could do, or I could do, that would warrant a divorce and it’s good to be prepared. Hence the reason a SAHM still needs a degree and some F-U money.

Bravo.

Anonymous December 20, 2009, 1:08 PM

Ok my first marriage was a failure due to cheating but I have been married fourteen years to my second husband and it has been nothing but happy. Sure we had a few rough patches along the way, everyone does, but it really has been for the most part blissful and wonderful and loving and exciting. I can compare because I was in a failed marriage once. Marital happiness is possible so I do believe you are wrong.

mom of 2 December 20, 2009, 9:45 PM

I think this is very good advice. The name part women can take it or leave it but having a “just in case account” is something I personally had at the beginning of my marriage. This should not be considered just because he may cheat what about if the relationship turns violent. What about all those women who stay in violent relationships because they do not have the money to get out. I was raised in a domestic violent home and was determined I would not put up with it. Once I was married it took me a long time to combine accounts with my husband and even still I have a separate account so that I can get out fast if I need to. Sorry its better safe than sorry.

happiness and love are choices we make daily... December 24, 2009, 6:09 AM

Whoa….a tad jaded aren’t we!

Most people are totally ignorant of what marriage is and isn’t just like you. Love is a choice, not just as feeling of passion. Mutual morals and values is a must ‘before’ you marry and a cmutual committment to your vows whatever negatives seep in - for example, illness, money troubles, kids troubles etc.

People get divorced because they are selfish and don’t know how to love. They don’t understand what marriage is all about - mutual life long committment even when you don’t “feel it”. Happiness is simply the decision to be happy no matter your circumstance.

Abuse aside, most leave a marriage because they are not other centered but selfcentered. Therein lies the problem if they are honest.

pharmacy tech January 1, 2010, 11:14 PM

nice post. thanks.

Jill (the other one) January 1, 2010, 11:34 PM

Maybe I’m a little naive, but it seems wrong to me to plan, as you’re getting married, for your divorce. If you don’t think your relationship is going to last, don’t get married. I think people focus more on the wedding than the marriage, and jump into things too quickly with the wrong person, and that a lot of people divorce for stupid reasons. Marriage is work. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

Ten Tees January 9, 2011, 1:39 PM

Nice info! Nice reading. I just have a point to submit about funny t-shirts.

tabletki na pryszcze April 3, 2011, 7:29 AM

I am glad, that i found your website, there are a couple of interesting posts


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