twitter facebook stumble upon rss

'Are My Kids' Birth Mothers Dead or Alive?'

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

A mom with a heart for Haiti reacts to the horrific tragedy in her children's birth country.

Corey Walters and family

Corey Waters, Mom of 6: Five of my kids are adopted from Haiti. Over the weekend, I ran a marathon in Orlando, raising $64,000 for the country. We were in the land of Disney when we heard that the earthquake had struck, and our world changed forever.

It's definitely a very tragic situation. In addition to having our kids' birth moms unaccounted for, we also have a lot of Haitian friends we are not able to get news about, as well as our missionary friends. And we're not sure what to tell our kids.

Being at Disney during all this has been a surreal experience. Fifteen of us ran the Disney marathon to buy an ambulance for Heartline Ministries' prenatal and birth program, and we raised $64,000 dollars. It was a major accomplishment -- but right now, it feels very small.

To come off of that high to this feeling is just ... devastating.

This is really our first vacation since our children have come home -- we have 5 Haitian children and one biological child, and we wanted to do it up big. We are trying to let the kids enjoy it as much as possible. They don't really have a sense of what's going on in Haiti. They know there was an earthquake, but I have been sheltering them from the coverage. I try to keep my own emotions down.

We have heard some rumors about people we are close to that were not good. It's very hard when you hear things. For example, the Hotel Montana was the place we stayed the first time we went to Haiti. It collapsed during the earthquake. They had 300 guests there, and only 100 are accounted for. The Hotel Montana is the premier hotel in Port-au-Prince.

For example, when we went to the hotel in Haiti to meet our daughter, Wyclef Jean was sitting at the next table from us in the lobby. This is where everybody who's anybody stays. To think of the Montana being gone, and to see the Presidential Palace the way it is, it's just so shocking.

It really is unreal for so many of us.

For those of us who have missionary friends in Haiti ... to hear them tell their stories and to read their e-mails, I just cannot fathom what they are going through right now. I can't imagine the sights they are seeing, the smells they are smelling, all the dead bodies in the streets.

A friend went out yesterday to check on the father of another friend. He went to his house and found it crumbled. They managed to pull the friend's father out. But on their drive back, they were held up and robbed. People are desperate for money, and supplies are already in short supply.

The situation will get worse. There will be looting, there will be violence, and people will get increasingly desperate.

In Haiti, even on a good day, people live behind security walls -- those walls keep you safe. Now those walls have crumbled.

There are dead bodies in the street everywhere. A friend talked about her husband who had gone into Port-au-Prince and saw 10 dump trucks full of bodies.

The sickness that is going to come up is so frightening. I want to be there so badly helping, but we know it's not the right thing. We've been told, "If you don't speak Creole, and if you don't have medical expertise, don't come."

My missionary friends need fuel -- so they can keep going, keep helping. All we can do is send money. Prices over there for basic necessities have already doubled. My heart breaks for Haiti.

It's a country that holds such a special place in my heart. Obviously, I adopted five children from there. But that wasn't something I'd ever planned.

When I met my husband in college, we always said we wanted to have three children -- some biological, some adopted. When my daughter was born, I was like: "Well, I'm good!" I felt totally fulfilled, and she was an only child for 8 years. When she was about 8 or so, a good friend had a baby who I started babysitting. I said to my husband: "Maybe I'm not done." He said, "Why don't we go back to adoption?"

We looked at every country that had a program, and we liked Haiti because it was close, so we could afford to take them back to their country to visit. It also sounded like Haiti was a short process. (This turned out not to be true. The government was overthrown twice during our first two adoptions!)

The first time we went there, we couldn't believe how poverty-stricken it was. It was only an hour-and-a-half flight from Miami. How could this be? The poverty was astounding. We thought: "How do people not know about this?"

But the people of Haiti are so resilient. Americans are so angry about the small things. If they have to wait five minutes in Walmart, they're mad. But in Haiti, they go into a government office and might have to wait there all day, and they'll have a smile on their face.

I can't believe the tragedy they go through on a daily basis, yet they get up and they face the next day. They are an amazingly strong and resilient people. We were so drawn to the country.

After we adopted the first time, we wanted to adopt again -- right away. We wanted to adopt a child with special medical needs, because there are no medical facilities in Haiti to speak of. Then we adopted an older sibling set. I felt like God was calling us to do that.

This earthquake is such a tragic thing to happen in a country that already faced so many challenges. But it's the first time in our lifetime that the world's spotlight is on Haiti. That's the only good thing to come out of this. Now the world knows. It's not much, but it is something.

To follow Corey's blog, go to Watching the Waters.



next: Johnson & Johnson Expands Scope of Tylenol Recall
9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous January 15, 2010, 3:03 PM

Why would you care?. They’re your kids now.

Grace January 15, 2010, 3:13 PM

Gosh, Anonymous, can you be any more insensitive? Who cares if the woman who GAVE BIRTH to your kids is dead or alive? You are really sick!

Thanks for sharing your story, Corey. It’s heartbreaking.

oh please January 15, 2010, 5:47 PM

This woman also gave one of her Haitian adopted kids away because he was so dysfunctional and dangerous.

JDR January 15, 2010, 6:45 PM

Well said. Let’s hope the corrupt government and abusive people there can be replaced after this disaster or this country will continue to spin it’s wheels.

The government of Haiti has received billions of dollars from countries, charities and private donations throughout its existence. As it can be seen by the current disaster the infrastructure of the country virtually does not exist. It would seem with the payload of money sent to this country in a given year there should have been enough to” at least ” have emergency equipment of a basic nature(i.e. generators, sawsalls,electric skilsaws etc.) with distribution centers scattered throughout its cities for easy access by would be rescuers. If you look close you will see no uniformed police nor firemen or even a rescue team with so much as a hammer in their hand. Where are these people and tools? Although the presidents palace was destroyed, as well as most every other building. It seems relatively easy to see who was the real recipient to the lions share of funds. Most of the people, who weren’t already, are now homeless as the $2’s a day they earned ,on an average, built them a $2 home, which definately could not withstand even a minor earthquake.Aithough scientist had predicted a large earthquake for this region, based on the fault and the pressure building up around it, they could not predict the time frame at which it would happen. It certainly was not there fault it occurred. A lot could be said for all the “hand outs”, if you will,that the government has received. It’s sort of like welfare in our country. People got use to doing virtually nothing for a check each month to stay at home and take care of their families. The check was generally based on how many children you had in the household. If the recipient desired a raise to this income they would choose to have another child. It wasn’t until the mid 80’s that the government decided to close the loopholes, somewhat. The point at hand is the Haitian people have no safe-guards on those billion dollar donations each year. There government has become so dependent on these donations and have been misappropriating them and getting away with it, knowing all the while another checks in the mail. Although private companies(charities) and governments ear marked the funds for a certain causes, the funds were used elsewhere. It would not be a surprise to find out that the funds that were given to” private” organizations throughout Haiti did not escape the governments tax laws (strong arm, I’m sure). It would seem that the “welfare” unmonitored is also to blame as it is expected anually and misused. In affect we have led the horse to water but we couldn’t make it drink. One thing is for sure, Haiti is not “cursed” by god, they are merely trapped by a government that has a bigger agenda than caring for its country and its people.

Carmen January 15, 2010, 8:26 PM

@Oh please…
If you read her v=blog thoroughly you would know she didn’t give away her child because he was dysfunctional and dangerous. Her family made the devastating decision to disrupt because, unfortunately, she couldn’t guarantee her other children’s safety with him. She used her biggest resource, her blog, to reach out and find a home where he could get the care and attention he needed and that would allow him to keep in contact with his siblings. She loves him and always will but things happened that she COULD NOT RISK happening again.

Not that she cares what you think, but I think it’s important to get your facts straight.
-Carmen

Carmen January 15, 2010, 8:28 PM

@Oh please…
If you read her v=blog thoroughly you would know she didn’t give away her child because he was dysfunctional and dangerous. Her family made the devastating decision to disrupt because, unfortunately, she couldn’t guarantee her other children’s safety with him. She used her biggest resource, her blog, to reach out and find a home where he could get the care and attention he needed and that would allow him to keep in contact with his siblings. She loves him and always will but things happened that she COULD NOT RISK happening again.

Not that she cares what you think, but I think it’s important to get your facts straight.
-Carmen

Oh please January 16, 2010, 3:55 AM

Carmen-thanks for clarifying that her son was indeed very dangerous to her daughters. In reading many of these adoptive family blogs it appears that most of the adoption situations coming out of Haiti are filled with RAD kids who make life miserable for their families.

Carmen January 16, 2010, 5:22 AM

No problem OP, and I hope I didn’t come off sounding too harsh. The first blog I read of hers was the “Family Needed” one and I have been captivated. I live in a bubble, my family and all the kids are healthy and I could never have imagined… I mean, I’m not naive, I know that there are very poor countries and children starve and there are very bad people and children suffer because of it but she opened my eyes to a very different kind of pain.

I just feel there is a very big difference between “giving a child away” and a necessary disruption done so there is still contact.

Lynn February 19, 2010, 6:53 AM

Here’s what’s really wrong with this woman ( I wouldn’t refer to her as a mom at all!) She writes on her blog that her husband goes and visits the kid dumped in residential out in Oregon (is it?) and all she can think about is her vacation to Florida. She doesn’t visit him apparently. Too hard FOR HER. It’s alway about HER! She is selfish and thinks of herself first and foremost. No one should have allowed this woman to adopt.


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement