I had a fight with my teen son the other day. I acted like a teen, and he acted like an adult. I pouted. He was reasonable. I was yelling. He was calm. I hate when that happens!
Bruce Sallan: It all had to do with expectations and desires on my part, for my teen son to want to hang out with his dad. Our family was apart this holiday season, as my wife and younger son went to Japan and Hong Kong.
I'd planned to go skiing with my older one, though he's historically never really liked it. However, his girlfriend loves to snowboard (which is what he did), so I thought he'd like to get better for when they might go together. He agreed to spend the time in the mountains with me, and I told him he could bring a guy friend.
As the trip got closer, none of his friends could come, and the week of the trip, he started talking "bailing." I got nuts, yelled and screamed and otherwise ranted and behaved like a baby. He, on the other hand, was calm and offered reasonable counterarguments to my out-of-control yelping. Granted, he still waited 'til the last minute and was leaving me "high and dry," but the truth was he never really wanted to go in the first place.
I never really gave him the room to say so. I was the immature one; he ultimately showed poise and moderation under the fire of my ire. Ha. Goes to show that it really is true. What do I know? I'm just a guy.
|Bruce Sallan gave up his showbiz career a decade ago to raise his two boys, full-time, now 13 and 16. His internationally syndicated column, A DAD'S POINT-OF-VIEW, is his take on the challenges of parenthood and male/female issues, both as a single dad and now, newly remarried, in a blended family. Join Bruce's A DAD'S POINT-OF-VIEW fan page at Facebook. To contact Bruce, visit his new website brucesallan.com.|