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Just a Guy Whose Son Is More Mature

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I had a fight with my teen son the other day. I acted like a teen, and he acted like an adult. I pouted. He was reasonable. I was yelling. He was calm. I hate when that happens!

father and son arguing

Bruce Sallan: It all had to do with expectations and desires on my part, for my teen son to want to hang out with his dad. Our family was apart this holiday season, as my wife and younger son went to Japan and Hong Kong.

I'd planned to go skiing with my older one, though he's historically never really liked it. However, his girlfriend loves to snowboard (which is what he did), so I thought he'd like to get better for when they might go together. He agreed to spend the time in the mountains with me, and I told him he could bring a guy friend.

As the trip got closer, none of his friends could come, and the week of the trip, he started talking "bailing." I got nuts, yelled and screamed and otherwise ranted and behaved like a baby. He, on the other hand, was calm and offered reasonable counterarguments to my out-of-control yelping. Granted, he still waited 'til the last minute and was leaving me "high and dry," but the truth was he never really wanted to go in the first place.

I never really gave him the room to say so. I was the immature one; he ultimately showed poise and moderation under the fire of my ire. Ha. Goes to show that it really is true. What do I know? I'm just a guy.

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14 comments so far | Post a comment now
Bruce Sallan January 9, 2010, 9:25 AM

So, I think an update is in order. Things do tend to have a way of working themselves out. My son got a great music opportunity while staying home, I got a lot of work done and skied my butt off, and when I returned my teen and I had some great fun together, in the few days before my wife and other son returned home from Japan and Hong Kong. Things do have a way of working themselves out - if you let them. Next week a post about how it felt to be alone in the mountains for 10 days, during the holidays…

denise January 9, 2010, 11:05 AM

Bruce Bruce. What are we going to do with you. You always make me laugh. You are SUCH a guy - if ever there was a perfect name for a blog, you got it.
I’m laughing so hard, I can’t even offer any comments of value. He’s a TEENAGER…and, maybe so are you? Lol.

Arnold January 9, 2010, 2:28 PM

Well, it looks like im the more mature one. Haha. I enjoyed this blog a lot. And im glad that fight we had didn’t last too long.

Emma January 9, 2010, 2:48 PM

Cool to see you posting here Arnold.

Wendi January 9, 2010, 8:06 PM

Bruce I got to tell you even though you didn’t like the way you acted, think of it this way, he acted in a grown up manner and could have only learned that from one man. That would be you. You should be so proud of him and yourself. Your teachings through the years gave him the ability and confidance to be in such control of the situation. Kudos to both of you!!

Jeff January 10, 2010, 2:15 PM

Bruce, c’mon, we’ve always known you’re the immature one! Lol.

Jenna January 12, 2010, 11:55 AM

Bruce - u constantly crack me up. I’d like to b a fly on the wall of your home. Where do u get your stuff? Lol.

Jenna January 12, 2010, 11:55 AM

Bruce - u constantly crack me up. I’d like to b a fly on the wall of your home. Where do u get your stuff? Lol.

Loren January 19, 2010, 10:19 AM

I must say that the two of you are definitely the definition of insanity!:-))) I’ve watched the two of you do this routine every winter for the past 3 years, it’s comical. Bruce, you always think that for some magical reason Arnie is going to change his mind and want to go snowboarding when he’s told you repeatedly that he hates it. And to be fair, Arnie keeps saying yes to you everytime skiing comes up. He’s a teenager…let him be into what he’s into. His passion is not the same as yours. Well, there’s always next year, maybe they’ll (Bruce and Arnie) will come to their senses finally. I call this the Sallan Boys drama.:-)

David January 21, 2010, 11:19 AM

I have been watching DVDs of the dozen or so seasons of “Frasier” the past few weeks. (I just finished Season 4.) I need not add that it is in my opinion a wonderful show — I would go so far as to say the best sitcom in television history … although again, that is just an opinion … based on rational reasons, but an opinion nonetheless. The point is that this kind of interplay is at the heart of many episodes in the series.

kirsten Wildman January 30, 2010, 8:35 PM

I hate when that happens, my daughter has pointed out my immaturity also! UUGH

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Swati Bharteey February 15, 2010, 8:22 AM

I’ve started giving myself time outs (and I rather enjoy them…but my daughter is only 8).

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