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Just a Guy with Some Alone Time

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A lot of people love alone time. I am just not one of them.

Man alone in bed

Bruce Sallan: This past winter break, I ended up with some alone time, as my wife and younger son went to Japan, and my older son, 16, stayed home to be with his friends and his girlfriend. I went alone to the mountains to ski. I used to be able to bring my dog, Simon, but the place where I stay has begun enforcing archaic HOA rules forbidding dogs of guests. So, instead of a warm, furry body next to me, I had the cold sheets and my wandering mind for company.

I learned, during the hard days of my divorce, when I was still getting used to being single again, how to be alone. It may have been the best lesson of that difficult period. If you don't like yourself, why should you expect others to like you? It's corny, but it's true.

There are good and bad aspects of being alone, if you're part of a family unit, as I am now. The good is not having to answer to anyone. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, exactly the way I wanted. I ate whatever and whenever, too. I even got control of the remote! I also could spend countless hours on the computer with no one getting annoyed with me.

The bad is simple. I missed my wife, my boys, and my dogs. And, I don't care how much I get to do what I want, including all the burping and farting the high altitude inspires; I'd rather have them with me. But, what do I know? I'm just a (needy) guy.

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8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Denise January 16, 2010, 6:44 AM

I think giving up the burping and farting may be worth being with your family, Bruce…lol. At least based on the impressions I’ve gotten, in earlier blogs, about your love for your family.

Wendi January 16, 2010, 12:24 PM

I agree with you, being alone is nice because you do what you want, but the fun of that only lasts so long. When I am alone in my house during the when the kids are at school, it gets so quiet and sometimes I just don’t like it. I would rather have them all around all the time :)

Jenny January 16, 2010, 4:39 PM

I adore my alone time…maybe because I don’t get it very often…

Jeff January 16, 2010, 6:20 PM

Bruce, you often are just revealing everyone’s “dirty little secrets” as I can’t think of any husband or wife that doesn’t appreciate some “alone time!” Just the quiet is a joy when you have a crazy household like so many of us.

Lisa January 17, 2010, 6:58 AM

HA! I read this at the perfect time! I am a single Mom with no help from their Dad, so my parents took my two muchkins out of town for this weekend. I was suppose to sleep and not wake up til 12, but I am up at 7am. I have done a few things for myself but I can’t stop thinking about my boys. I know they are safe and happy with the Gparents. Just not too sure what to do with all this time…

Bruce-love reading your blogs!

Bruce Sallan January 17, 2010, 10:50 AM

Thanks Lisa for the kind words. Enjoy your time alone. This weekend, I ended up going skiing alone and this time, I didn’t enjoy it near as much as other times. Been apart from my wife too long, too much lately. Goin’ home early…

David January 21, 2010, 9:43 AM

I grew up without brothers and sisters, so I have always been comfortable being alone. Yet the older I get, the LESS things turn out to be as enjoyable when done alone than they were in the past. Just one example is travel. I travel a fair amount, for work as well as for recreation and pleasure. Back in the day, I would NEVER care whether or not I had company on a given trip. Today, however, I tend to PREFER traveling with someone I enjoy being with. The prospect of being alone “on the road” does not, and I suspect never will, actally DETER me from traveling; it’s just that, things being equal, I’d just as soon as not have a traveling partner whom I enjoy. Although on some occasions I am glad I was alone as a traveler. This past May I spent about a week visiting — alone — several World War I battlefields in France and Belgium. This was a “dream come true” sort of expedition for me, something I had wanted to do since studying WWI in the 11th grade in 1968 or so. I was so happy to be able to go where I wanted to, stop the car whenever I felt like it, delay a meal if I had to in order to see one more sight; and most important of all, give myself over to the very powerful emotions I often found myself feeling, and not have to explain or defend them to a companion. Much of what made the experience as profound as it was had to do with, for example, being completely alone at dusk in a silent graveyard populated only by unknown soldiers.

chat flirt March 31, 2010, 10:59 AM

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