On their first birthday, an assessment of how the octuplets are faring as the offspring of Nadya "I'm Ready for My Close-Up" Suleman.
Momlogic's Momstrosity: Every milestone, from when a baby first holds up their head to when they speak their first word, creates some of the most thrilling chapters of parenthood. The octomom's babies are no different.
Here are some of the American Academy of Pediatrics' milestones I predict 1-year-old Maliyah, Makai, Isaiah, Noah, Josiah, Jeremiah, Jonah, and Nariyah have no doubt reached.
1) Able to stack two or three blocks successfully.
Probably, providing the structure doesn't get knocked down when the camera crews are setting up lights in the playroom.
2) Will cry when they feel parents are unhappy with them.
Based on this milestone, these kids never cry. Mama is sooooo happy she had her octuplets. If she didn't, she'd just be an unemployed mom of six living off her parents. Now she's a STAR.
3) Child listens closely to those around him or her and starts to imitate words.
Octuplets first words: Photo op, development deal, and RadarOnline.com.
4) Child can answer questions that have a "yes" or "no" answer.
No doubt they get a lot of practice answering this question: "Are you Josiah, Jeremiah, or Jonah?" The woman has FOURTEEN KIDS. I can barely keep things straight and I have one.
5) Child will show an interest in using a spoon.
For the octuplets, learning to eat by themselves is essential. If you have to wait for mom to "feed the kids" for the camera, and Jaasy or Noah keeps messing up the shot ... your turn might not come. Suleman kids must learn to wield a utensil themselves if they want to survive.
6) Child will be able to follow simple commands.
Chances are good that the "Suleman Eight" can properly react to requests such as, "Look at the camera," and "Don't spill mommy's latte!"
7) Child feels more secure when placed on a schedule, or routine.
You bet these kids are on a routine, put in place no doubt by Nadya's many nannies. Whether it makes them feel more secure ... that's yet to be seen.
|Momstrosity, AKA Andrea Levin, started her career as a stand-up comic appearing on many now defunct cable shows. She then became a staff writer for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Motherhood lead her to momlogic.com. She has a three-year-old daughter named Lily. Lily wrote this bio.|