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Forget Mr. Right -- Settle for Mr. Good Enough

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Still think the perfect man exists? Lori Gottlieb says to think again.

Lori Gottlieb, author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, was on the "Today" show this morning discussing her unconventional dating philosophy.

To read an excerpt of her book, click here.

Gottlieb used a sperm donor to conceive at age 37 since she hadn't yet met "The One." Her plan was to have a baby first, find "true love" later.

Once she gave birth, her outlook changed. She looked at her married friends with small kids, and thought: "All those things that seemed so important when they were dating now had little relevance to their lives. Instead, the idea of choosing to run a household together -- as unglamorous and challenging and mundane as that was -- seemed to be the ultimate act of 'true love.' Why hadn't I looked at marriage that way five years ago?"

Married moms: Did you settle for Mr. Good Enough -- and are you happy you did? Single moms: Would you settle for Mr. Good Enough at this point? We would love to hear your thoughts!



next: The Annoying Habit that Makes Love Last
8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Shannon February 4, 2010, 1:09 PM

I settled for MR. Right & couldn’t be happier. Took many heartbreaks, but we found each other & now have a beautiful baby boy who is 18 months old. Crazy thing is we went to the same highschool & new all the same people, but never met each other until he came into the bar I was working at. The 1st night we met he told me he was going to marry me & take me to see the world : ) Never got around to seeing the world, but we did get married & had a baby : )

Angela February 4, 2010, 2:17 PM

I do agree with what she’s saying. Honestly, if you think the person you’re marrying is perfect you probably don’t know him well enough. DH and I are far from perfect, but we’ve committed to make it work and I have no regrets.

LaJoi February 4, 2010, 4:36 PM

I understand the point she’s trying to make and yes at the end of the day choosing to run a household together is most important but even as a single mother I wouldn’t advise settling…kids grow up!!

adelaide dancing February 4, 2010, 6:57 PM

wow, very interesting perspective, i really think that people expect too much of others and not enough of themselves!

llev February 4, 2010, 7:17 PM

I’m going through separation because the person I’ve been with for 12 years never really made me happy. We have two beautiful children but running a household together just becomes a second job, not a relationship

poliquest February 4, 2010, 7:30 PM

Settled for mr right now-after several engagements-he’s a good guy-i would love to say that it will last forever-but kids do grow up-& I want to be truly happy-we’ll see…truth is-you never know where life will take you, or what you will be handed-10 yrs ago, I swore tht I would never have children-now I have 3 gorgeous girls, &they have brought me more joy than I ever imagined-i thank God and my husband for them

michelle February 4, 2010, 10:21 PM

I read the original article in the Atlantic that she adapted into a book. She is trying to generalize from her own experience, which doesn’t work because it’s clear from her dating history that she has a LOT of issues. She is really, really misguided about what makes marriage work. Pickiness actually serves women extremely well — the statistics say that the longer women wait to get married, the more likely the marriage is to be lasting and happy. Why? Because they are mature enough to know who they’ll be happy with. That means the guy has to have the total package. You cannot sustain a healthy relationship with someone you’re not attracted to but is really nice or whatever. Not least of the problems is that the man will not be too happy when he finds out you just “settled” for him. I just think Lori Gottlieb is seriously cracked.

Lucio Hudrick March 27, 2011, 1:06 PM

There is perceptibly a bunch to know about this. I feel you made certain good points in features also.


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