Give it up mom.
Momlogic's Momstrosity: Call it what you want, whether it's for Lent (February 17th) or simply spring cleaning for the soul, it's time to ditch some motherly bad habits.
1) Give up "orange" colored food
No more handfuls of my kid's Goldfish crackers and wee shovel-fulls of macaroni and cheese. Who knows. If I give 'em up, maybe my little darling will stop asking "Mommy, why are your legs so squishy?"
2) Give up blaming kid for messy car
Whenever I have a guest in my car, I always begin the journey with an apology as I shove garbage off the passenger side seat. "Sorry about the mess, but you know how it is when you have kids." Truth be told, if my 4-year-old girl is responsible for empty Starbucks cups, discarded gas receipts and stray lipsticks, I've got WAY bigger problems than a trashed car.
3) Give up empty threats by the time I count to 10
She knows I don't mean it, I know I don't mean it. Maybe it's time to call off the charade. Especially when I threaten, "Wait until your father gets home!!" and he's standing right next to me.
4) Give up spelling out swear words
People without kids might try to give up swearing, but if you've got kids chances are you don't swear as much as you spell the words out. And I'm a crummy speller. By the time I've spelled out "you S-T-U-P-I-D B-A-S-T-A-R-D why are you being such an A-$-$-H-O-L-E, it's already time to get dinner on the table.
5) Give up falling asleep at kid's bedtime
Those bedtime stories sure are effective -- they put us BOTH to sleep ... by 7 PM. It's hard to resist, already in bed, cuddled up with your favorite miniature person.
6) Give up NOT having sex
See number 5