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How Tiger's Apology Expedited My Divorce

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The infamous cheating golfer pushed me right into the arms of divorce -- and out of a marriage that should've been over long ago.

tiger woods

Marital Mess: Tiger Woods' public apology made me file for divorce. My husband actually used it as an example of what a cheating harlot (that would be me) should do: Take responsibility. Are you f*cking kidding me? I'm being compared to Tiger Woods?!

First of all, I am neither a sex addict nor a public sports figure. Secondly, my husband and I were officially separated when I [committed] "transgressions." I was so offended and disgusted that Tiger Woods' code of honor was being held up as the one I should adhere [to], that I realized this man and I are DONE. The gender divide is strong regarding Tiger's apology; in this case, it's the straw that's breaking my marriage's back. It only further illuminates that my husband and I have two conflicting and completely differing interpretations of reality.

Today my husband called me a DirtySlutWhore; the name-calling was rage-filled and aimed to kill. As disrespectful as that may be -- and as much as I don't think of myself that way -- today I realized that I would actually prefer that title to being called his WIFE. In fact, I'll wear that mantle all day long if it means happiness and freedom from a loveless, soul-sucking marriage [in which] my needs were unimportant and ignored.

We have been separated for six months now, yet I hadn't filed for divorce. We have a 2-year-old son together. Yes, I've had relations with other people during our separation (hence the DirtySlutWhore name-calling), but neither one of us has been willing to pull the trigger and end this marriage.

Until today. I am officially out of limbo. My path has become ever more evident with each interaction with my aforementioned husband, and today he's gone and done it. Today I made the appointment.

I'm moving on. Enough of trying to placate this man. Enough of being afraid of single mommyhoodEnough of limbo. It's time. Anger can be a very productive emotion. I've finished our taxes, vacuumed the entire house, filed for divorce and it's not even noon yet. He may never see the tears I shed in this marriage; the pain I was in while he thought everything was "normal;" all the work I put into it before finally asking for a divorce. All he sees is the DirtySlutWhore, and that's ok. This D.S.W. is moving on. Thanks, Tiger.

And so I pray: 

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.


next: Are Bars Banning Babies?!
14 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sandra February 23, 2010, 7:39 AM

Everyone have their own opinions. You and your soon-to-be ex clearly saw many things differently; hence your decision to divorce. My father cheated constantly when I was growing up. My mother finally couldn’t take it anymore and got a divorce from him few years ago. Perhaps it’s because of this experience I would never cheat on my husband & if we were ever to get a divorce, I’d wait until the divorce finalizes to be with someone else.

Black Iris February 23, 2010, 7:51 AM

He shouldn’t have called you names, especially such vicious ones.

People often disagree about whether or not you can date during a separation. Some people say no, not if you’re trying to keep working on the marriage. It’s important to talk about it ahead of time.

You might be able to work this out with counseling. It depends what else is going on.

Tracy February 23, 2010, 9:20 AM

I’m on the tail end of what you are just starting. Any man that would call you that had a problem with the relationship long before the initial separation. Don’t be afraid of single mommyhood it’s a lot easier when you don’t have a venomous ex dragging you down.

Pamala February 23, 2010, 9:20 AM

That was something you should have worked out when you agreed to separate don’t you think? Because it looks like you had one idea of what the separation was and he had another. Although I have to wonder how one would intend to work out a marriage after dating other men, I can’t imagine my husband would be able to accept that, and I’m lucky that although my husband said he wanted to see other women during our separation apparently wanting to do something and doing it just didn’t happen with him, maybe because after he asked for a separation he realized that it wasn’t what he wanted.

Black Iris February 23, 2010, 9:43 AM

One thing to keep in mind no matter what you do - he’s your child’s father. You two are going to need to get along.
Getting divorced doesn’t magically fix things. You will still have to see him for your child and he will still be mad at you. Your child will know this and be affected by it. You can tell him to be mature and do what’s best for the child, but you can’t force him to do anything.
So you need to work through the conflict no matter what.

Caroline February 24, 2010, 9:31 AM

Congratulations on maintaining your sense of humor.

GT February 24, 2010, 9:32 AM

Wow,
Your husband got mad and called you names just because you slept with other men while you were still married to him………..how unreasonable can you get. I’m sure you will eventually find a great guy who feels that this kind of behaviour is ok! Duh!!! Nobody is perfect, not your husband, not you!
You have a 2 year old son. Well I hope that he stays with his father because you are a very poor example of a mother.
Have you ever stopped thinking about your own needs long enough to think about your son’s? A mother who puts herself ahead of her children? Actions speak louder than words, you can scream from the rooftops that you are a good mother but when people look at your actions they will never see it.
You are clearly too immature to be in a marriage.
Get your divorce and marry again. All the stats will tell you that your next relationship will be shorter. Eventually you will discover the problem is YOU!

LL February 24, 2010, 10:27 AM

Sad, another family gets broken, another little kids gets to, at best, be shuttled between homes for the rest of their lives. At worst, loses one of two people who were the world to them.

So nice we get to move on and pursue our own happiness. Because, after all, our own happiness eclipses all.

How long have you been married? At least 2 years ago you were in “love” enough to have a child. What changed? And if it changed (your love), it could never change back? So he did this, and you did another thing, and your son pay ther price. Nice……….

Briguy February 26, 2010, 11:08 AM

lol sounds like a drama queen wife to me!

Samantha  March 9, 2010, 5:10 PM

everyone commenting on here is so judgemental and unsupportive. everyone’s marriage has different rules and boundaries, as do everyone’s seperations….i got your point, he missed the big picture. he didn[t sound like he took any responsibility in your seperation, but is very quick to call you very disprespectful childish names…and i wouldn’t have stayed either. what you did may or may not have been wrong, depending on your situation (i don’t know all the details, as no one else on here does). and obviously your husband didn’t appreciate it, but that doesn’t warrant him permission to call you names. i think name calling means all the respect is gone, and when that happens, it’s time to do something. so kudos to you for standing your ground and having the strength to do something that gets you on the road to happiness.

L March 16, 2010, 10:29 PM

“Today I realized that I would actually prefer that title to being called his WIFE”

That says a thousand words!

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