Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
PiscesMy Kid Changed His Name ... to 'Fablehaven'
I appreciate my kid's desire to change his name in order to avoid social persecution, but this?
Guess blogger Christine: Our son Atticus hates his name. Or rather, he hates the way his classmates pronounce it: "Attikiss" they say -- and being six and a boy, he finds this annoying and embarrassing. "There's no 'kissing' in my name!" he insists (it doesn't bother him that "cussing" is, but whatever). When we gave him this moniker, I knew there'd come a time when kids would make fun of it, but seeing a "Mision" and a "Vishwana" on his class roster this year, I figured he might be able to squidge under the weird-name radar. Silly me.
Whenever he comes home upset over this, I try to explain the significance of his name -- that it comes from a character in one of Mommy's favorite books; and that the fictional Atticus "represents the moral ideal" (thanks, Wikipedia) of what a human being should be. Someday my son will actually care what a moral ideal is, but presently he only cares that there's a "kiss" in his name. (Why is it that I try to reason with a child? I might as well talk to air.)
So last week, after he had another "Attikissy-kissy" episode with a classmate, instead of trying to reason with him, I simply suggested that he choose a different name. One of his adult cousins had changed his from "Curtis" to "Tripp" when he was a kid, so I thought, Why not? Atticus looked doubtful, but he decided to think it over -- and at bedtime, he announced that he had come up with a new-and-improved name: "Fablehaven."
Oy. I glanced at the Fablehaven poster on the wall next to his bed, made a mental note to burn it, and shuffled through a list of responses in my head. "Okay," I replied, "are you sure you don't want to choose another one? For instance, something that isn't the title of a book?"
"Fablehaven," he answered. "And tomorrow I want you to tell Mrs. Bell (his teacher) to start calling me that, too." Poor child. He thought this was the answer to his problem? Well, you had to admire his guts -- he was about to commit social suicide, after all.
When I told my husband about this development, he thought it was awesome (of course). "What are you so worried about, anyway?" he asked. "He'll go to school, tell everyone to call him 'Fablehaven,' and be back to 'Atticus' by lunchtime." I hadn't thought about it that way. This could be a teaching opportunity that would be both a good lesson and a solution rolled into one. I doubted Atticus would ever dislike his name again, because once his friends heard the new one? Forget it: Previous teasing wouldn't compare.
After school the next day, he was so nonchalant I forgot to ask him how things had gone. It turns out his friends had loved the new name (so did his teacher!), and my son is now officially "Fablehaven." Fabulous.
As I wait for this phase to subside, I remind myself that this isn't the worst that could happen. What's the biggie? Yes, I have a son with a kooky name, but he's a happy and healthy boy, and I have to admit pride in his decision. And at least I have this: Last night, as I was tucking him in, he nuzzled up and whispered in my ear, "You can still call me Atticus, Mom."
- share:
-
-
-
more:
- |
- 40 Comments
Kudos to you for encouraging your son to be his own person! I LOVE the name Atticus (To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorites as well), but my husband was strongly against it. Good thing we’re having a girl first. :)
I love the name Atticus, and wanted to name my first son that, but ended up naming him after a family member who had passed away (Nicholas). But my next boy will definantly be Atticus, Atticus Finch is my absolute favorite character from literature!
You people are selfish. You know that an unusual name will cause your child to be teased, but to you, it’s not about your child. It’a all about you. Your likes, your feelings, your perceptions. If it’s a name that YOU like or think is amusing or comes from some book or movie, you will stick your poor child with it and assume that he will have the maturity to “deal” with the name calling, other kids making fun of his name, and being subjected to ridicule just because YOU thought a name was cute.
@Anon Kids will find something to make fun of reguardless. I don’t even think I can list all of the ways kids came up with to make fun of my name, did that stop me from choosing a name I like for my child? Nope.
Christine, if you live near Salt Lake City, we’d love for you to come to the launch party of the final book in the Fablehaven series. It’s March 23 at Cottonwood High School at 6:30 p.m. Email me for details!
Thanks!
Leigh
Shadow Mountain Publishing
P.S. My email is ldethman@shadowmountain.com.
We actually have another book series, The 13th Reality, that features a boy named Atticus, but he shortens it to “Tick.” Maybe get him to read that, and he’ll go by his given name!
Best,
Leigh
While I don’t think Atticus is that peculiar, I really am against naming children strange names. Childhood is hard enough… why purposely name them something that will likely be a cause for teasing? Perhaps if it is a meaningful relative or something like that I can at least see the significance but some character in a book???? Find a name that won’t get your kid picked on. We all know that kids are far too mean… why set your child up for being an easy target?
By the way I think it’s hilarious that he picked Fablehaven and everyone is actually going along with it. Very cute.
@Me I think that it doesn’t matter what you name your child, other kids will find a way to make fun of it. My name is Nicole and I was called numerous things including “Nicole the Butthole” and “Nick-hole”…or even worse…”Niki’s Hole”. My son’s name is Hunter and they have already started on him. Right now, they are sticking with “What are you hunting?” and “Hunter-Gunter”. I for one think that parents should name their children whatever they want within reason (suddenly remembering odd names that I have heard that resemble or are spelled like profane words …like “Sh*thead …pronounced Sha-theed”). I think that parents would normally like their child to be unique and independent instead of having 10 Aiden’s and 12 Mackenzie’s in their classroom. (I mean no offense to anyone with children those names, I only mentioned them because they are very popular right now.)
We’re about to have a kid, and I find the name selection process to be agonizing.
We have several animals, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed naming each of them, in part because each of them has a human name, and that fact makes me smile every time say them. But with the kid… I feel compelled to choose the most boring name I can possibly stand. If I give my kid a name that makes me giggle because of its silliness, or proud because of its unusualness, then I will have failed the very first test of parenthood - selflessness.
Giving children unusual and/or interesting names has always seemed selfish to me, even long before I ever thought I’d have one of my own. Now that I’ve got one on the way, that feeling is stronger than ever. I’m almost inclined to choose “John” of it’s a boy, and “Jane” if it’s a girl. But going *that* far towards the boring-spectrum almost seems to be a stunt in itself. So I’m in a quest to come up with a name that is *almost* as boring as John/Jane, but with just a touch more uniqueness, to demonstrate that we actually did put some thought into the process.
hahaha my girlfriend and i had a good laugh at this. i love that everyone actually went along with it. we have 3 kids, leon, asher and elsie and i think that nicole is right. it doesn’t matter what you name their child. there’s a big chance that there’s going to be at least one kid who will make fun of their names. but i think as long as you teach your child how to deal with it it’s fine
You named your kid Atticus?
Oh dear christ.
so let’s get this straight. Your son had a goofy name that came from a book, and he changed it to a goofy name that came from another book… But his original goofy name is totally acceptable because it comes from YOUR book. And you don’t get why explaining to him that you like the name doesn’t make the 6 hours a day that he spends getting picked on more bearable… OK.
There are things in this world that are subjective. Some people think that two identical things are different because of their own, subjective opinions, but this doesn’t affect reality.
Case in point: Your son doesn’t like the name “Atticus” because it causes the majority of his waking life to be defined by alienation from his peer group. This is an objective reason to not like the name.
You say Atticus is a good name because you like it, it comes from your favorite book, and you figured it meant something good. These are subjective reasons, and as such, they are meaningless.
But you’re right: Every unhappy minute of every unhappy day that your son spends learning that he is not acceptable to society (his class) is worth bearing because you want people to know you have a favorite book.
And he’ll totally get over having a stupid name when he’s thirty: He starts out being teased, he learns that he can’t fit in. By the time the teasing stops, he identifies himself as a “loner.” High School reinforces negative stereotypes (Probably from the same kids who are teasing him now.) He goes to college, doesn’t know how to make friends, so he doesn’t. He goes to work and doesn’t take opportunities to be social. Finally, he reaches thirty, gets some perspective, and thinks, “Wow! F*** you, Mom!”
Either that, or he’ll discover drugs in college. If that happens, “Atticus” will become an awesome name to him.
But yeah, it must be terrible for you to know that in school, your son has a nickname that he likes. That must be really hard on you.
P.S. “Tripp” is a title that refers to a boy named after his father who was himself a junior. Saying someone changed their name to Tripp is like saying someone “changed their name” to Junior.
I suspect that the following equations is true:
use of traditional name is inversely proportional to socio economic status
YOU think Atticus is fine, obviously he doesn’t. Your idea of a cute/noble name is irrelevant. As for Fablehaven, that makes as much sense as Atticus. And this ‘phase’ may never end.
Weird names, weird spelling, uniqueness are all selfish. Almost as bad as naming your kid after the current ‘stars’, how many brad, brittany, tiffany, jlo blah blah blah do we need or can stand.
Thankfully I got the better name between my twin brother and I. Imagine going through life known as Bimbo, I mean Bilbo
I’m afraid you started it with Atticus.
Thanks for reveal pretty beneficial information. Your net is amazing; I am pleased by the tips which you have on this blog. It reveals how very well you recognize this topic. Bookmarked this page, will arrive back for additional. You, my buddy, I observed just the material I previously explored all over the place and just couldn’t locate. What a perfect site. Similar to this site your web page is 1 of my new favorites. I such as this info shown and it have provided me some type of determination to have good results for some reason, so preserve up the very good work!
A thoughtful insight and ideas I will use on my blog. You’ve obviously spent some time on this. Well done!
Many thanks for a extremely obvious and practical submit. I am unquestionably a violator of many of these principles. I usually come across me conflicted when producing a blog post because I see myself writing greater than people today would like to examine, but I believe that I really need to do the topic matter justice by totally protecting it. I experience that by following a number of these rules I conclude up cutting out very important facets to your discussion. I guess you may have to uncover stability.
What a wonderful idea. I am not totally sure if that is true, but who knows. Would you be kind enough to write another post, but from the opposing vantage point
Cute story. I like the name “Atticus”, and he will too when they get passed name teasing phase. My daughter’s name is Amira (Pronounced Ahmeerah), and although she is only 2, my mother thinks it is a teasable name. She said “Oh my makeup needs touching up, where is “a mirror” when you need one.” Or “Mirror mirror on the wall…”. I politely told my mother to grow up.