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My Letter to ABC's 'Lost'

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Meredith Hoffa: After five devoted seasons of being a "Lost" watcher, I decided to voice my complaints.


Dear "Lost,"

Stop hiding stuff. Do you hear me? STOP HIDING! I need you to come out from behind the *^%$#ing renaissance faire garb, show your face, and start answering my &^%*ing questions.

I'm getting increasingly anxious that you are never going to answer these questions. What are your plans, man? I've stuck with you for five seasons, yet it seems like your whole M.O. is to just pose question after question, layering them on top of one another like a crazypants question lasagna, and as someone who is a do-er and also vaguely OCD and thrives on checking items off a list and gaining closure, it is really messing with my sense of sanity that you keep adding MORE questions to my list without ever clearing the clutter and allowing me to cross anything off that list. Who raised you? I mean seriously. There are three months left to the whole affair, and frankly I'm concerned that the series finale will come and go and you will not have addressed the outstanding questions, and if that happens I will feel such massive, raging and victimy piss-offery that I will have no choice but to prematurely turn into a bitter old lady when really I am a young and pleasant gal and should -- at least for a little while longer -- still carry with me some small to medium amount of hope and idealism.

Honestly, do you even have a plan? Is anyone driving this bus? I have followed you on this island journey with the assumption that you are leading me somewhere good, towards some gratifying climax. But if that's not the case, please tell me now. Sooner is better than later. Because in your hands is the power to ruin my trust in television forever. And Lord knows I adore television.

"Lost," please be aware of the sacrifices I have made for you over the years. I've ignored my pesky, tugging inner voice of reason and have decided to accept the inexplicable lack of hair-frizzing humidity, the absence of a single shellfish allergy, the seemingly unlimited supply of backpacks, men in permanent eyeliner, Sun's pristine linen pants and sweater set ensembles and the fact that Hurley does not lose weight. For you I have also accepted monsters made of ash, tropics-dwelling polar bears, reincarnation, electromagnetic fields, baby-adoring hobbit-men, and neanderthal-esque madwomen/Frenchwomen. Oh and also time travel. Also ghosts. Though then again, are they ghosts? You have yet to answer that question.

Anyway, we've been together a long time now, and my strongest hope is that those gazillion hours were not spent in vain. I'm a busy person with a busy life -- a baby, a high maintenance cat, bills -- and unfortunately I don't have time to indulge your shenanigans. There's certainly still time for a happy ending here (not that kind!) and so please, if you don't want to lose me, please, please give me some sort of sign that you are not leading me down a path of bull*&% juvenile sci-fi mumbo-jumbo fantasy dreck.



next: Class Teaches Kids to Say "Fries with That?"
181 comments so far | Post a comment now
Chase March February 16, 2010, 6:37 PM

I completely agree. I only recently discovered the show on DVD but I was all caught up and looking forward to the new season. But it seems to me like they’ve dropped the ball.

I’m not sure I like where it’s headed, if it is headed anywhere specific.

I’m angry that Locke didn’t come back to life. It would’ve made sense since Jack’s dad arrived at the island in the same way and he seemed to come back to life. So what is Christian anyway? Is he a ghost? He was in the first moments of the pilot episode, It would be amiss if they didn’t answer that question.

This new timeline doesn’t seem to make any sense either. It’s almost as if the island never existed at all. Wouldn’t that be a great joke for all the loyal viewers. Sorry nothing happened. No answers.

Wendi February 16, 2010, 6:41 PM

Love that, that is exaclty how I feel. The commercials say that we will get answers, yet I just keep getting more questions.. TIME for ANSWERS!

lMARIE February 16, 2010, 9:46 PM

soooooo MANY questions, soooooo little TIME……………

j a n February 16, 2010, 10:25 PM

Thank you for being a voice for all we list-crosser-offers, and an advocate for clearing the clutter! ;-) Love your perspective - great post!

friend February 16, 2010, 11:27 PM

that is exactly the reason i stopped watching in the middle of season 2.

Barb February 17, 2010, 7:21 AM

And why did The Others want Walt so bad? He has some powers, right? That whole storyline was dropped (or maybe I zoned out?).

Mark Sommer February 17, 2010, 1:17 PM

The show isn’t for everyone, and it would be absolutely lame if it tried to be. Finally a show that doesn’t insult the intelligence of the viewer!
Thank you, LOST, for not kowtowing to nonsense like this. Keep doing what you’re doing. A mystery isn’t supposed to give the answers until the end. I am enjoying the ride.

tennmom February 17, 2010, 1:57 PM

I didn’t watch Lost until season 3, seriously slammed down the DVDs to catch up before that season started.
I also DEMAND that they give enough clues for me to at least make a semi-educated guess as to what the ??? is up! When CBS cancelled Jericho, I felt like spitting in the floor. Really! Spitting! Right in my own floor!

Grover the Cat February 18, 2010, 9:37 AM

Dear Red-headed mom,

Please have faith in the writers. I do! Enjoy the ride and trust that the big questions will be answered. Also important, but not related to Lost: I don’t think Mark Valley is right for Fox’s “Human Target.”


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