twitter facebook stumble upon rss

My Letter to ABC's 'Lost'

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Meredith Hoffa: After five devoted seasons of being a "Lost" watcher, I decided to voice my complaints.

lost

Dear "Lost,"

Stop hiding stuff. Do you hear me? STOP HIDING! I need you to come out from behind the *^%$#ing renaissance faire garb, show your face, and start answering my &^%*ing questions.

I'm getting increasingly anxious that you are never going to answer these questions. What are your plans, man? I've stuck with you for five seasons, yet it seems like your whole M.O. is to just pose question after question, layering them on top of one another like a crazypants question lasagna, and as someone who is a do-er and also vaguely OCD and thrives on checking items off a list and gaining closure, it is really messing with my sense of sanity that you keep adding MORE questions to my list without ever clearing the clutter and allowing me to cross anything off that list. Who raised you? I mean seriously. There are three months left to the whole affair, and frankly I'm concerned that the series finale will come and go and you will not have addressed the outstanding questions, and if that happens I will feel such massive, raging and victimy piss-offery that I will have no choice but to prematurely turn into a bitter old lady when really I am a young and pleasant gal and should -- at least for a little while longer -- still carry with me some small to medium amount of hope and idealism.

Honestly, do you even have a plan? Is anyone driving this bus? I have followed you on this island journey with the assumption that you are leading me somewhere good, towards some gratifying climax. But if that's not the case, please tell me now. Sooner is better than later. Because in your hands is the power to ruin my trust in television forever. And Lord knows I adore television.

"Lost," please be aware of the sacrifices I have made for you over the years. I've ignored my pesky, tugging inner voice of reason and have decided to accept the inexplicable lack of hair-frizzing humidity, the absence of a single shellfish allergy, the seemingly unlimited supply of backpacks, men in permanent eyeliner, Sun's pristine linen pants and sweater set ensembles and the fact that Hurley does not lose weight. For you I have also accepted monsters made of ash, tropics-dwelling polar bears, reincarnation, electromagnetic fields, baby-adoring hobbit-men, and neanderthal-esque madwomen/Frenchwomen. Oh and also time travel. Also ghosts. Though then again, are they ghosts? You have yet to answer that question.

Anyway, we've been together a long time now, and my strongest hope is that those gazillion hours were not spent in vain. I'm a busy person with a busy life -- a baby, a high maintenance cat, bills -- and unfortunately I don't have time to indulge your shenanigans. There's certainly still time for a happy ending here (not that kind!) and so please, if you don't want to lose me, please, please give me some sort of sign that you are not leading me down a path of bull*&% juvenile sci-fi mumbo-jumbo fantasy dreck.

Namaste!

Sincerely,
Mer


next: Class Teaches Kids to Say "Fries with That?"
181 comments so far | Post a comment now
get debt assistance March 23, 2011, 7:52 PM

I’m actually about to make this step. This post got me thinking whether i can do it. Again. And thank you very much!

Comfortis March 23, 2011, 8:26 PM

Have you thought about adding some relevant links to the article? I think it might enhance my understanding.

debt March 23, 2011, 11:50 PM

Is that true? I’ll spread this information. Anyway, nice article

protein shakes March 24, 2011, 2:18 AM

Just right points?I might be aware that as someone who in reality doesn’t write on blogs so much (in reality, this can be my first post), I don’t suppose the term ‘lurker’ is very becoming to a non-posting reader. It’s not your fault in the least , however possibly the blogosphere may come up with a better, non-creepy name for the 90% folks that enjoy reading the content material .

fitness March 24, 2011, 5:37 AM

very nice publish, i certainly love this website, carry on it

kids toy March 24, 2011, 3:58 PM

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I really feel can discover any data in article and discus forum

wedding budget March 24, 2011, 4:15 PM

very good publish, i actually love this website, carry on it

how to build a shed loft March 24, 2011, 4:42 PM

I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Outstanding work!

home security buy March 24, 2011, 6:49 PM

Thank you for sharing it. I am for sure going to search for a copy.

chemex coffee maker March 24, 2011, 8:08 PM

Appreciate it for sharing the information with us.

no win no fee injury lawyers March 24, 2011, 8:10 PM

I was looking through some of your articles on this site and I think this site is rattling instructive! Continue posting .

facebook login management March 24, 2011, 10:24 PM

I love what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and reporting! Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to blogroll.

cream removal hair March 24, 2011, 10:49 PM

Great post. Very refreshing given all the duplicate content out there. Thanks for doing something original.

buy saunas March 25, 2011, 7:41 AM

This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

cheap laptop computer March 25, 2011, 9:32 AM

cheers for this awesome posting

buy emergency kits March 25, 2011, 1:08 PM

Hello! useful post you have here. Thank you:D

Travis Chears March 26, 2011, 4:34 AM

I can tell that youre a specialist at the area! Im launching an internet site soon, and your info will be very helpful for me personally.. many thanks for all of your assist in addition as wanting all of you the success inside your business.

filme online March 26, 2011, 11:16 AM

great luck with new articles

simple golf swing March 26, 2011, 11:41 AM

Very interesting topic , thankyou for posting .

steel wire March 26, 2011, 2:52 PM

I am glad to be a visitant of this complete website ! , appreciate it for this rare info ! .


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement