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The Husband Trap

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If you think your husband is cheating on you, here's one good way to find out for sure. I just wish I had thought of it myself.

Two women using computer

Flying Solo with Two Carry-Ons: I was out shopping with a very dear friend, "Carrie." As we were searching through the racks of clothes, she asked me if I would do her favor. "Of course," I said. She then asked me to help her create a fake Facebook account. She explained that she wanted to know once and for all if her husband would cheat on her. She said she had suspected infidelity for a while -- ever since she found out that her husband had befriended several young women on Facebook. Although I thought her fake-Facebook idea was brilliant, I told her to be very careful because she may not like what she finds out. This had the potential to go very wrong. But she was adamant: She wanted to do it.

The next day, I went to her house and we began to "create" the perfect girl. We named her Jessica, found a picture of a cute blonde in a bikini and sent out a mass request to random people to befriend her. Finally, we sent out a friend request to Carrie's husband, "Tim": "Hi Tim, I don't know if you remember me, but I was an intern at your firm three years ago. You're looking pretty good. I hope all is well. Jessica."

We hit "Send Request" and waited. Less than an hour later, we got a reply: "Oh yeah, of course I remember you! How are you? What are you up to?"

Wow! We couldn't believe it. He actually said he remembered her. Needless to say, Carrie was pissed off.

Jessica and Tim began chatting every few days. The days turned into weeks. He never -- not once! -- mentioned his wife or kids. Plus he had no pictures of them on his Facebook page. The chatting started becoming very flirtatious, which then turned into sexual innuendos and finally led to Tim asking Jessica out for drinks.

It was all I could do to contain Carrie's rage. Should she continue with this or stop? Carrie decided she had to go all the way.

Jessica agreed to meet Tim for drinks. On the day of meeting, Carrie panicked. She wanted to give Tim an opportunity for an easy out. She called him and asked him out on a "date night" because their babysitter was available. But Tim told her he had an important meeting with the president of his company and wouldn't be able to miss it.

So we continued with the plan. The meeting was set for 7 p.m. I was the backup. At 7:10, I went into the restaurant to check out whether or not Tim was there. There he was, sitting at the bar. I sent Carrie a text with the go ahead.

Carrie walked up to Tim, gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat down on the bar stool next to him. You could see the panic in Tim's eyes. Looking around the room, Tim asked Carrie what she was doing there. Carrie told him Jessica had told her they were meeting for drinks -- so she thought she'd join them.

Tim was clearly freaking out and trying to cover up why he was there. Suddenly, Carrie ripped into him and told him that she was Jessica.

Then, well ... let's just say the people in the restaurant got dinner and a show that night.

Tim gave her the "we're just friends having drinks" speech, the "I didn't do anything!" speech and the always awesome "I would NEVER cheat on you" speech.

But Carrie couldn't get past the chats filled with sexual overtones, the fact that he lied to her about having a meeting and his willingness to meet this girl for drinks.

They tried to work it out, but Carrie just didn't trust him anymore. She never really had, obviously. This, plus other issues they've had during their 13-year marriage, has led them to seriously talk about divorce.

Facebook has done great things by reconnecting family and friends. I just didn't know it was a good spy tool too.

next: Alec Baldwin Rushed to Hospital
25 comments so far | Post a comment now
Darcy February 11, 2010, 7:32 AM

What you did is totally out of line. It is not respectful at all.

Timmy February 11, 2010, 7:44 AM

And he was completely respectful to Carrie? WTH? Total karma tho!

Mouse February 11, 2010, 7:50 AM

That was entrapment, and really messed up

Liam February 11, 2010, 7:51 AM

Completely ridiculous thing to do.

What kind of psycho sexually baits their own husband?

Alan February 11, 2010, 7:51 AM

Tim is very lucky to be getting rid of someone that manipulative. I just wonder what the response of this site would be if it were a husband setting up a fake facebook account to trap his wife.

vincent February 11, 2010, 7:52 AM

Shrugs, they already had problems. Would you want to be married to that shrew? He’s better off now.
Would you wanted to be married to a guy who would sneak around on you? She’s better off.

Neither of the people in this story deserve respect. Both are liars.

Mouse February 11, 2010, 7:53 AM

This is messed up, this was entrapment

Anthony February 11, 2010, 7:54 AM

This is disgusting - not only that you’d do it, but that you have the audacity to be proud of it to the point of putting it on the Internet for the entire world to see. This is out-of-line, and if you’re that insecure about yourself or your relationship, there are better and more constructive (and less psycho) ways of dealing with it than to lay traps. Trust works both ways.

Arnold February 11, 2010, 8:03 AM

I think there were better ways of dealing with the situation, I believe they’re both better off separated

chrissie February 11, 2010, 8:15 AM

This marriage didn’t sound like to would have survived even without her doing that. I would never bait my husband and think that doing so was stupid. I don’t even see a reason to open the doors of infidelity and watch to see if he would walk thru it. If you really don’t trust your spouse then just leave the relationship.

Tiffany February 11, 2010, 8:26 AM

Funny how mostly men are responding saying how wrong it is. I don’t think there is anything wrong with “testing” your man out to see how faithful he really is. He was obviously using facebook as a way to meet women, not for “friendships”! He didn’t even have pictures of his wife & kids…..forget even mentioning them! If he would have been honest to begin with and said he was a married man with kids…his wife would’ve probably dropped it from there. My husband cheated on me thanks to facebook…and I found out when it was too late! Maybe I shouldve tested him out first!!

Tiffany February 11, 2010, 8:34 AM

Unfortunately many men are using FB as a cheating tool these days. I think it’s important for wives to keep tabs on their husbands to make sure they’re not crossing any lines! And even though you’re supposed to “trust” one another…most men feel that “whatever my wife doesn’t know…won’t hurt her!” believe me when I say that men think they’re not doing anything wrong by “talking, texting, or chatting with other women”. They believe it has to become physical in order to cross that line! Of course they are wrong.

Marc February 11, 2010, 9:00 AM

The women that write/read the content on this site are insane. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR ‘ADVICE’, ladies; it will just give you the reputation of that creepy lady down the street that stalks dudes on Fbook.

Experienced Curmudgeon February 11, 2010, 9:22 AM

Just one more reason why if it flies, floats, or f#*ks, it’s cheaper to rent.

vincent February 11, 2010, 9:34 AM

but would he have cheated? He meet a girl for drinks. He flirted. Nothing wrong with either of those things. The marriage obisouly had issues that when a cute girl threw a smile his way he fell into the trap. I’m not saying he is snow white on this, but both parties here have serious issues and they are better off with out each other. HE should have been honest and told his wife he wasn’t happy. She should have told him she thought he was unhappy.

T February 11, 2010, 10:00 AM

The big picture here says that this man was about to cheat. That is a problem. So what if she “went behind his back”. He went behind HER back. He lied. He met with a girl to have drinks. You know what drinks lead to.

T February 11, 2010, 10:02 AM

The big picture here tells us that this man was going to cheat. The woman obviously had doubtful feelings of their relationship (and for good reason, look at what he did!). She may have went behind his back to uncover the truth, but he went behind her back to CHEAT. There is a huge difference. Meeting up with a girl to have drinks can lead to way more than having drinks.

B  February 11, 2010, 10:08 AM

There is nothing wrong with what you guys did. Really. Tim had every opportunity to say no, to mention his wife and kids, etc and he CHOSE not to do it! It is NOT entrapment! You simply gave him an opportunity and he jumped on it, proving himself to be untrustworthy, unfaithful, and not committed to his wife and family. No one forced this guy to talk with this girl! No gun was put to his head to get him to the bar with her! And if he had nothing to hide, and it was just “drinks with a friend” WHY would he need to LIE to his wife and tell her it was an “important business meeting?” Good for you guys for finding this out about him now. This was probably not his first time doing stuff like this. It may have been a sneaky way to get the information, but your friend deserved and needed to know this not only for herself but for their children. Men like this fully deserve to get busted and I’m glad you are the type of friend who would help your girl out!

Anonymous February 11, 2010, 10:56 AM

when i started reading the posts i was shocked how many people were saying it was wrong to do this. if you think your spouse is cheating what are you supposed to do, ask them? like they’re going to tell you the truth?!?! come on! facebook is a lot cheaper than hiring a private investigator.

*Big Mama* February 11, 2010, 12:39 PM

This is like Chapter 7 on “How to make a marriage fail.”

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