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7 Lamest Excuses from Celebrity Cheaters

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What's worse than powerful husbands who cheat on their wives? Their lame denials!

7 Lamest Excuses Told Celebrity Cheaters

Tiger Woods

Denial/Apology Strategy: Fame made him do it

Was it apology to his wife, his fans or more likely to his present and future endorsement deals? It was difficult to tell when Tiger held a press conference February 19 and copped to his multiple affairs. The reasons for his dalliances explained Tiger, "I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame." One thing for sure the once golden golfer knows how to practice -- every time he said he was sorry he looked straight to camera.

Mark Sanford

Denial/Apology Strategy: Where In the World Is Mark?

For one week no one seemed to know where in the world the Republican Governor of South Carolina was on the map. First he was said to be grabbing some "alone time" on the Appalachian Trail, as he had told his constituents earlier in the week, and then he claimed to be visiting Argentina on a whim because he wanted to visit some place "exotic" . Turns out he WAS in Argentina -- grabbing some "exotic alone time" with his mistress.

Bill Clinton

Denial/Apology Strategy:
A line so famous it even has its own entry in Wikipedia: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" -- that woman being intern Monica Lewinsky -- will go down in history as the most desperate attempt at lying by a public figure. Right up there with his "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is,"  when asked what was the nature of his relationship with the 24-year-old intern.

Eddie Murphy

Denial/Apology Strategy: Humanitarianism

In 1997, Murphy, married with three children, was caught by West Hollywood police with an alleged prostitute in his wife's SUV.He told his wife that he "stopped to help a person crying."That person was a transvestite who went by the name of "Shalimar." 

Larry Craig

Denial/Apology Strategy: Restroom Etiquette

Former Senator Larry Craig was arrested in a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men's public restroom. He claimed that the reason his shoe touched the officer's in the neighboring stall was because Craig had a "wide stance" when going to the bathroom.

Chico Marx

Denial/Apology Strategy: Absurdity

According to Hollywood legend, when notorious womanizer Chico Marx was caught by his wife in the act of kissing a chorus girl, he told her, "I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!"

Ted Haggard

Denial/Apology Strategy: Denial

In 2006, Ted Haggard, the disgraced former evangelical leader, was caught buying methamphetamines and meeting with a gay prostitute -- but denied he ever used the drug or had sex with the man. Mike Jones, a 49-year-old gay escort who claims to have had a drug-laced, three-year tryst with Haggard, told a very, very different story.

next: What I Learned from Tiger's Press Conference
2 comments so far | Post a comment now
Black Iris February 19, 2010, 12:21 PM

Actually, I liked Chico Marx’s response. I wonder if his wife laughed too hard to stay mad?

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 3:12 PM

Interesting info! Enjoyable reading. I’ve just got a single thing to submit about tee shirts.

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