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Tiger Woods IS a Role Model

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I think men can learn a lot from Tiger today.

Tiger Woods

Dr. Wendy Walsh: I'm weeping as I type this. I am a chick after all. Having just watched Tiger Woods emotional apology to his friends, family, employees, business partners, and foundation beneficiaries, I am simply moved. I am also confused. I am wondering why an athlete in Florida whom I have never met nor seen in public can cause me, a single mother in Los Angeles, to have such a blubbering event.

And the answer is simple. There are few women in America who do not long to hear such words of contrition and kindness from a man, and Tiger is as likely a surrogate for healing as anyone. At some point in their lives, most women have been deeply injured by some man's selfishness -- whether it was infidelity, or violence, or stingy child support. And here is a man finally doing the right thing. My own waterworks started with his tribute to his wife, Elin, using words like grace and poise to describe her. There are a couple of men in my past who would do well by me if they could form any similar words.

And I hope men listened closely, too. This is the kind of role model so many men need ... one who stops the buck at his desk and takes full responsibility for his actions. Through Tiger, men can hear firsthand how infidelity is not only a betrayal of trust but an action that reverberates through many relationships. Is one (or sixteen) moments of sexual pleasure really worth the destruction of so much? I truly hope that men who claim to have trouble controlling themselves can learn something from Tiger's blown-up version of their story.

Because the tides of relationship rules are changing. It used to be that women provided all the sexual boundaries in our culture. Women had far too much to lose by entering into a sexual relationship with a man who might abandon them, impregnate them, contaminate them or disgrace them. Not today. Thanks to feminism, women own their own orgasm and a box of Trojans. They are off to the races. And, as families fall apart -- 40% of American babies are born out of wedlock and the rest are vulnerable to a 50% divorce rate -- some men are stepping up to create their own sexual boundaries, if only to keep safe their genetic line. I spoke with one such man yesterday, Mark Verge, a happily married guy whose book "Access to the Boys Club" preaches techniques for fidelity for couples. Mark's message includes tips for wives to help keep their man satisfied.

Women's behavior is as much part of our culture-wide problem of unhealthy relationships. I've said it before, but let me reiterate: How can we blame our husbands for getting wet on their way home from work when IT'S RAINING WHORES? The shameless Tiger mistresses who have sought their fifteen minutes by kissing and telling on national television need a serious reality check. Or they need to become mothers so they can sympathize with Elin. (Actually, two of his alleged mistresses DID have kids, and they still didn't care!) But both women and men need to get some control on their sexual energy when families are at stake.

Finally, I want to close by applauding the unsung heros in our culture: Men and women who have been making the sacrifices associated with long-term monogamy because it is the right thing to do -- for your partner and for your children. We will all be beneficiaries of your dedication when your kids don't end up on the public coffers or spreading HIV to us. Thanks for making a commitment to love and family.

As for Tiger, he summed it all up with Elin's admonishment to him: "The real apology will not come in words. It will come in behavior." We're watching, Tiger. You're off to a good start toward healing.

next: Credit-Card Fees: The New Traps
40 comments so far | Post a comment now
Hannah February 24, 2010, 7:58 AM

I’m flabbergasted that this article comes from someone with a PhD. As always, “woman” is the fallen temptress and “man” is…the hero? This is despicable.

Maggie B February 24, 2010, 8:30 AM

So Tiger Woods apologizes and all is forgiven? How could he help himself? After all he is a man. It’s all those Feminist Jezebels throwing themselves at him (and every other married man) that are to blame… Does anyone else see how ridiculous this is? Would he even be apologizing if he didn’t get caught?

This is the same old story we’ve heard for millenia. If a man cheats it’s his wife’s fault for not pleasing him, or his mistress’ fault for tempting him. Tiger’s apology does not absolve him from what he did.

ProudSAHD February 26, 2010, 10:54 PM

Having read a couple of other articles by this author, I came (not unreasonably) to the conclusion that she hates men. Anyone who defines the presence of ANY 13+ age male in the house as a danger is a misandrist to the extreme. But now, I can only conclude that Dr. (and how in the name of places did THAT happen?) Walsh hates virtually every human being on the planet. It must be lonely being a misandrist AND a misogynist. Also “How can we blame our husbands…” Easily! If I were to cheat, my wife would blame me, and rightly so. However, I have apparently superhuman powers in your world, as I am not only willing to be, but happy to be, faithful to my wife.

Barry March 18, 2010, 5:05 PM

No men has responded, only women. And I agree with all the women here. How can you make Tiger a role model. He is a cheater and only came clean because he was caught. I am 100% sure if the accident didn’t happen , Tiger would never come clean and make his apology.
Well I am from Europe and maybe we think differently about infidelity and who’s too blame.

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